Stop press

The Canadian government today announced that it is changing its emblem from a Beaver to a CONDOM because it more accurately reflects the government’s political stance….A condom allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of dicks, and gives you a sense of security while you’re actually being screwed!

Damn, it just doesn’t get more accurate than that!

When do you give up?

I have to admit that I’m somewhat addicted to the game ‘Spider’. The version on Windows 7 allows one to retrack to the beginning even after one has ‘lost’.

Until this week, I had a record of winning 86 consecutive games. In the last few days I got to 84 – and could go no further. Bearsy got that game out for me and I’ve just continued playing …

Yesterday, I got to 153 continuous wins… and I couldn’t get the 154th game out. I asked Bearsy for help. He had several tries while I was cooking dinner – no success!

Well 153 seemed a pretty good score and I was about to hit the ‘exit’ button and thought “One Last Try”.  I got that game out.

It’s becoming a bit boring! But, I’ve now won 184 consecutive games – and I’m loathe to give up until I have to!

Would you give up – or carry on until ‘forced’ to stop?

Juliar to put the High Court in its place

Look – and please do remember that I have a fervent dislike for our Prime Minister – there’s no way we’re going to go down the same limp-wristed route as the UK.

If our High Court decides to make an interpretative ruling that effectively negates the intentions of a law passed by our elected government, we’ll change the wording of that law to make it crystal clear to the judiciary who is actually in charge of our nation.   And it ain’t the Chief Justice.

Although the legislation has not yet been passed, Juliar has today convinced her cabinet and the Labor caucus to support her in the introduction of the requisite alterations to the Migration Act.

She has, sensibly and pragmatically, declared that the changes will not define any particular solution to our immigration problems, but will clarify the undisputed right of the current executive to take such actions as it considers necessary, irrespective of foreign legislation or the High Court’s view of our obligations under any foreign legislation to which we may be a signatory.   This should make it politically viable for Abbott and the opposition to support the amendments.

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A Novel or Verbal Pornography?

In a rare moment of ambition I have started to read ahead for one of my classes. That in itself shouldn’t be too surprising as both the professor and subject matter are the dog’s bollocks. The reading assignments are generally fairly easy to get through, if not on occasion infuriating. The current book, however, has struck me as a bit over the top.

It is a novel. It is a very recent novel that was only published last year in the UK and this year in the US. The infuriating bit is that it had the potential of being an excellent book. The novelist, Lola Shoneyin, clearly has talent. The characters are interesting, well-developed, and believable. The story itself is well-written and believable.

It’s just too graphic. The writer ruined her novel by getting wrapped up in the most minute details of sexual intercourse. I don’t want to sound too stuffy, but it seems that sex, if treated too frankly and graphically, just turns into complete and absolute filth. That’s how this strikes me — three pages graphically describing masturbating to pornography, two-to-three pages every other chapter describing in detail the sex life of a polygamous Hausa household.

Whenever the author stays on the subject of human relations other than sexual, it’s actually quite interesting — especially since she does delve into the lesser aspects of human nature and the frequent jealousy/hatred that arises in great depth.

This isn’t the only time that a more contemporary novel has, at least in my opinion, been ruined by gratuitous sexuality.

Am I alone in thinking this?

Tree stumps

The following picture show the large tree exhibition outside the Natural History Museum in Oxford. They are from the rainforest and dramatically show what huge giants are being eradicated across great swathes of various countries.

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I’m the judge!

Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if they aren’t prepared for the answer.

In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, ‘Mrs Jones, do you know me?’ She responded, ‘Why, yes, I do know you, Mr Williams. I’ve known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you’ve been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you’re a big shot when you haven’t the brains to realize you’ll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.’

The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, ‘Mrs Jones, do you know the defence attorney?’

She again replied, ‘Why yes, I do. I’ve known Mr Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He’s lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can’t build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him.’

The defence attorney nearly died.

The judge asked both counsellors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said,
‘If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I’ll send you both to the electric chair.’