Less or Fewer?

. . . actually, I couldn’t care fewer 😉


Most Charioteers have at least one favourite grammatical rule, even if they’re not fully paid-up grammar tragics like Janus or me.

It’s not one of my personal bêtes noires, but I am aware that the rules governing the use of less and fewer are dear to the hearts of one or two of our company, and when the occasion arises I’m usually happy to grin, nod sagely and let them get on with it.

But I was fascinated to discover this article, which I reckon is a gem of its type.   Perhaps you’ll think so too. 😎

Quentin’s beef

He has a strange name. He should be a diarist* with a name like that. He is? Oh, sorry, Q. Anyway, he rang a few of my bells with his thoughts in today’s DM.


I’d add a common pleonasm people employ,as follows: ‘They both attended the same school.’ Just one will do, dear.

I bet my reader seethes over a few common malapropisms too.

* Didn’t you have a Letts diary as a youngster?

They’ll meet. But where?

Don and Kim’s unprecedented head-to-belly calls for some creative thought. Geneva won’t do – because the boy went to school nearby. Singapore is too, well, Asian. So for me, that leaves Cuba, which has all the requisites for a world title fight. History, communism, cigars, Gitmo (the honey-pot destination for serial-killers) – and proximity to Florida for the inevitable round of golf. Don claims to play off nine; no doubt matched by Kim’s as-yet-unpublished handicap. Cuba will also enable Don to show off his perhaps limited Spanish vocabulary, upstaging the (allegedly) polyglot Korean. Covfefe, por favor, barista. And Ladies and Gentlemen, your Master of Ceremonies for this headline bout is none other than the darling of the media, winner of the Nobel Prize and everybody’s best friend, Barack Obama! Enjoy!

It’s Not Over

Over four months have gone by since the last Hunnish election. At last, Hunland has a government. It will be another grand coalition. Despite having earlier misgivings, the Swamp Beast former EU “Parliament” President, Marty What’s-it caved in after extracting key cabinet positions. The Social Democrats will get the foreign ministry and finance. Merkel will be re-elected Chancellor by the Bundestag next week and will will go on as normal. Or it won’t… Despite being a grand coalition, this time there are far fewer seats. After all, both parties saw a marked decline in support. On all three sides of the coalition there are grave misgivings. Continue reading “It’s Not Over”

Don’t you just love the double standards of …. well just about everybody?

This is an article about the leader of the Economic Freedom Front, a minority, but growing South African political party led by the ‘firebrand’ Julius Malema. In it he states his party will target the opposition-held city of Port Elizabeth, home to the erstwhile Soutie, specifically because it is run by a white mayor.

“Because the mayor of DA in PE is a white man. So, these people, when you want to hit them hard – go after a white man. They feel a terrible pain, because you have touched a white man.” Continue reading “Don’t you just love the double standards of …. well just about everybody?”

Hairy Fruit

Side whiskers, mutton chops and handlebar moustache are just some of the varying facial hair styles for men. Being clean shaven all my life I have never tailored my facial appearance with any sort of fuzz. It’s all been done before, hasn’t it? And for the beardy-wearers you end up with a nickname of a more famous person. Here’s Heisenberg. Here’s Abraham Lincoln. Here’s ZZ Top. Here’s Freddie Zapata. Here’s …

However, while tugging at my smooth chin in deep Thinker thought I decided to let there be growth. And, naturally it had to be a new style. I viewed acres and acres of all the furs that were man made and opted for a variation on the neck chop.

A famous Neckchopper

The neck chop would be trimmed back and hair would only grow on my Adam’s apple. This Spartan look doubles up as a new trend and fool proof safety measure as it means I won’t cut my AA with a razor blade. Shaving around this area is Eden hazardous. Problem solved.

Funny old thing the Adam’s apple. Eatemallogy says it’s from the bible involving fruit and the first man. He bit off more than he could chew and it got stuck, apparently. My own belief is that it didn’t originate from the dawn of time but was coined by Milton Bradley. Yes, we’re talking Operation here. Charley Horse, Bread Basket et al. Including, Adam’s Apple. Careful with those tweezers, Eugene.


Absence makes the heart…….break

The thing is I’m dragging my Backside back to Blighty – to reside in sunny Sussex. So I’m busy with the rather complicated process of de-Viking(ing)* us and preparing for a Spring return to our green and pleasant land.

I mention it because it’s about time there was some real news hereabouts and I know my patient reader will be mildly intrigued and might occasionally be inclined to follow the new exploits of the Janus/Backside combo.

ETA late April. Meanwhile Jack Frost and the Snow Drifters are promising to visit the wild woods very soon.

* © Janus 2018