The Dark Side – Page 30 – Boadicea's Chariot

Alien captions?

This may look like an alien landscape, but this picture actually shows trees buried under a foot of snow close to the Arctic Circle. Italian student Niccolo Bonfadini spent nine days camping alone in the frozen world.

Call me old-fashioned…..

Matt cartoon

I’d be the last person to pre-judge the outcome of the almost-knighted John Terry hearing but he may just be innocent until proved Irish/Jewish/Lothario/Gay/Conservative/Rich/…….. if you get my drift. But MATT has nailed it once again.

What’s the past participle of twit?

My close companion Backside has gone and done it. I was recently distracted by cherished colleagues’ voluptuous verses and he went and registered me at Twitter. Oldjanus@Oldjanus, as you might expect.

If you ever feel like following me, you’d better hurry because I can’t deal with more than a few thousand at once. Not that I’m saying much. It’s all very social, innit?

Yer gorra laff

Bless.

Mirror, mirror…..

It’s that morning-in-the-bathroom-feeling, sometimes a Balotelli moment: “Why always me?” Does Angela wonder whether leadership is really what she craves für Das Faterland? Couldn’t she fancy the occasional scherzo at second fiddle?

German Chancellor Angela Merkel gives a speech

Helleva time

I know you like to catch up now and then with news of the Kuddly Kinnocks, alias the Welsh Cash-Machine; whose favourite daughter-in-law, Gucci Helle has just become the least liked PM Denmark has ever known, with a 17% approval rating after 9 months in the job. Continue reading “Helleva time”

Marooned on Sandbanks

Cherished colleagues ~~with an aversion~~ seeking to feed their aversion to overpaid sports personalities should read on. Continue reading “Marooned on Sandbanks”

How to watch sport

I’ve found that it’s a mistake to watch sport on a TV channel based in the home country of one of the teams. The persistent omniscience and triumphalism/despair spoil the game completely, especially when half the experts have mysteriously metamorphosed from dirty foulers to tactical wizards .

So for the Euros I’m selecting a German station for Denmark/Holland and England/France and sticking to the Danish coverage of Sweden/Ukraine. And any non-teutonic channel will do for Germany/Portugal!

I realise that few cherished fans have such an agony of choice but that will all change when the United States of Europe control all TV programmes. Remember you read it first on the chariot!

Why on earth not?

The GCSE exam concerned was Religious Studies. One question was: “Why are some people prejudiced against Jews?” But the Education Secretary, challenged by the Jewish Chronicle, said, “To suggest that anti-Semitism can ever be explained, rather than condemned, is insensitive and, frankly, bizarre.”

Continue reading “Why on earth not?”

Hard court shoes?

Oliver Pritchett writes in the DT:

“I was fascinated to learn that the Queen has someone to wear-in her new shoes, to avoid that uncomfortable blistery phase. Does this person have a job title, like Lady-in-Broad-Fitting or Mistress of the Instep?

And how does one get selected for the post? Foot size is obviously important; my guess is that the successful applicant would have to take a half-size bigger than the Queen’s, which would help when the salesman says: “It will stretch with wear, Your Majesty.” There would be rigorous tests of foot hygiene, of course, and evidence would be needed to prove that the person chosen had a clean record as far as scuffing is concerned. Continue reading “Hard court shoes?”