Category: Humour

Blustery day diversion

At this time of year I rarely go into the garden except to work on it. Even if I intend just to visit the veg plot to pull rhubarb or deposit vegetable peelings in the compost bin, I invariably end up passing a weed or two that needs easing out, or a plant that needs staking. Continue reading “Blustery day diversion”

This amused me – I hope it amuses you

A week ago there was an article in The Punch, an Australian site which many of you had difficulty with when I gave a link to an earlier article about Michael Clarke.  This article was about the monarchy and the “forth-coming” wedding – the author was, shall we say, not in favour of either.   Many comments followed, most of which were unexceptional or irrelevant – that is, they were mainly off-thread, debating the merits or otherwise of certain UK national newspapers.

But then came this gem from a British gentleman (I swear I have not edited a single word) –  Continue reading “This amused me – I hope it amuses you”

Memories

Nearly 24 years ago we married in front of about 100 friends and family. My father had saved specifically for both of his daughters’ weddings and really did us proud. (My sister married a couple of years later).

The Church was beautifully decorated with flowers and the reception was in an old castle with superb caterers. It rained before the ceremony and we – that is my two candy-striped bridesmaids and I, with my Dad, walked up the drive of the church under umbrellas, which amused me and stressed Dad! But then the day turned out fine and we have a traditional set of photographs which recorded the whole event. In addition an old family friend took some lovely dis-inhibited photographs in black and white which caught the spirit of the day fantastically – including the hat balancing and the silly imitation Australian hat during the speeches. I learned afterwards that it was only after the speeches that Cycloman really could start to  enjoy himself! Continue reading “Memories”

The Ballad of Brave Monty Mouse: The Flood

It rained and rained, and in the nest,
They shook their duvets sadly.
The damp was dire, and all were stressed;
The mice were faring badly.

Hips, haws, and berries for their needs
Were in the grain store dank.
‘Twas also full of mildewed seeds,
Monty’s spirits sank.

Continue reading “The Ballad of Brave Monty Mouse: The Flood”

“The Future Kings Cup”

If you’ve made it this far, you, like us, are looking to remember (or not) the Royal Wedding as a truly messy occassion. The only things required are something to drink and a jug that shall be known as “The Future Kings Cup” the use of this will become clear later, although I’m sure the more experienced amongst you will be aware of its purpose. The rules are as follows (they may ocassionally enconter something of a restructuring to make them more intelligble or generally better), although as it stands they are incomplete, which means I need your suggestions to make this the best damn day it can be… Continue reading ““The Future Kings Cup””

Blood and bandages?

“Some people choose the flowers at the wedding on the basis of their symbolic meaning. For example orange blossom has always been associated with weddings because it signifies purity and chastity. Peonies are avoided by some as they represent shame; azaleas represent temperance: roses symbolise love and snowdrops represent hope.
A combination of red and white flowers is avoided by the superstitious because they stand for blood and bandages…..The groom often chooses a flower for his buttonhole which also occurs in the bride’s bouquet. This is a vestige of the time when a Knight would wear his Lady’s colours to display his love.” Continue reading “Blood and bandages?”