That strange book Fantasticks, by Nicholas Breton (1554-1626) is something of a favorite. Not many people know about it, but those who do seem to like the archaic language and ritual cadence of it.
It is out of print, so since October I’ve been copying bits out, beginning with the section on the months, this is the third. There are a few chapters on special days, Christmas, Easter etc. so there may be a bonus post a bit later this month.
But for now here is December.
Are you currently enjoying a beer or a glass of wine? Good.
Test how sober you are, click this chaps nose, if a new window opens, good. Have another drink.
Then (in the new window) click his nose again, keep refilling ’till you can no longer click his nose!
Black Country joke to be articulated in your best brummie:
Aynuk drops in on Ayli. “Oim gonna paper owr frunt rowm. Ow many rowls did yo boy for yorn?” “Oi got foiv.”
Next day Aynuk returns. “Ere, owr Ayli! Oi had a roll left ower!” “So di Oi!”
(This was prompted by the news that B’ham Council’s voice recognition software can’t cope with locals.)
Here you can see a fine example of nature’s geometry: the spiral in a snail’s shell which illustrates the Fibonacci numbers and the Golden Number very well, so I’m told.
However if you want to know more, ask a mathematician, or google it 
.
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“Rugby fans are being asked to pray for the E.P. Kings ahead of their make or break Currie Cup promotion match against the Cheetahs on Friday.
The appeal was made by E.P. Kings rugby boss Anela Pamba as his team bid to pull off rugby’s “fight back of the century” at the Nelson Mandela Bay stadium.” (report here)
.
I was thinking of something along these lines…
So I said to Obama: “Well, some like Kofi, some like Ki.”
A few moments ago while writing a comment on Mrs. Osbornes Antidote post I was struck by how much my words sounded like something I had read some time in the far past. Digging back in my various messy archives I found the source, I take no credit for the writing, or the spelling.
Fantasticks
by Nicholas Breton
(c1554-1626)
Milton elsewhere used fantastic as a noun too, meaning “someone given to showy dress”. But as a noun it could also mean “a fanciful composition”, and Fantasticks was the title chosen by Nicholas Breton (c1554-1626) for his curiously pleasing series of sketches, of hours, season and months.
It is long out of print, and several years ago Chistopher Howse of the Telegraph took the trouble to transcribe it over the period of a year. I thought it delightful and still do. Here is October, complete with its fanciful spelling.
OCTOBER
It is now October, and the lofty windes make bare the trees of their leaves, while the hogs in the Woods grow fat with the falne Acorns: the forward Deere begin to goe to rut, and the barren Doe groweth good meat: the Basket-makers now gather their rods, and the fishers lay their leapes in the deepe: the loade horses goe apace to the Mill, and the Meal-market is seldome without people: the Hare on the hill makes the Grey-hound a faire course, & the Foxe in the wood cals the Hounds to full cry: the multitude of people raiseth the price of wares, and the smoothe tongue will sell much: the Sayler now bestirreth his stumps, while the Merchant liveth in feare of the weather: the great feasts are now at hand for the City, but the poore must not beg for feare of the stockes: a fire and a paire of Cards keepe the ghests in the Ordinary, and Tobacco is held very precious for the Rhewme: The Coaches now begin to rattle in the street but the cry of the poore is unpleasing to the rich: Muffes and Cuffes are now in request, and the shuttle-Cocke with the Battel-Doore is a pretty house-exercise: Tennis and Baloune are sports of some charge, and a quicke bandy is Court-keepers commodity: dancing and fencing are now in some use, and kind hearts and true Lovers lye close, to keepe off cold: the Titmouse now keepes in the hollow tree, and the black bird sits close in the bottom of a hedge: In briefe, for the little pleasure I find in it I thus conclude of it: I hold it a Messenger of ill newes, and a second service to a cold dinner.
Farewell.
Boadicea's Chariot 
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