Grammar & Linguistics – Page 6

The Germans have a word for it

It’s Danaergeschenk, meaning a (suspicious) gift from the Greeks. Anybody who has holidayed in the Ægean archipelago will vouch for the locals’ charm and skill as hosts and caterers. And we usually give good old Homer the credit for pointing out the inherent danger in accepting their offerings. But as so often with Homer, that’s just another myth. No, not the bit about Greeks; the idea that Homer said it.

Vase 670 BC Continue reading “The Germans have a word for it”

Sonnet-Waterstone’s: A rally cry.

Waterstone’s: A rally cry.

In London, Kensington, young Waterstone,
It would appear, sold out to a stranger,
So punctuation is now in danger;
Waterstones, now writ, lowering the tone.

Grammatically unsound you say, but hark!
Printed books or wet garden stones for pools?
Or are apostrophes for older fools,
We ancient pedants who insist and bark?

No, war it is and we are right to fear
The loss of this small mark, by which we own
Still our proud language, although loud we moan.
Standards will not slip despite those who jeer.

Save the apostrophe I hear you cry,
In this small mark all we possess must lie.

Waterstone’s Sonnet -Jan Poetry Comp.

I’m found high up, a tiny crescent mark
a comma wand’ring from its rightful place
abused by every ill-read grocer’s clerk
some oft’ used plural noun to sore deface.

When I’m true placed, behind all proper nouns
the power of possession, I’ll at once confer.
I’m in mid-word? I beg thee, spare thy frowns,
you’ll know the missing letters I do there infer.

A worthless vestige, or some antiquated sign
I never was. Sad victim of some Ad-man’s pen
will never be, until the writing of the final line
means to us all the great, and last, amen.

When the rules of English usage they defile,
ALL the many Waterstones must we revile.

Waterstone’s – poetry competition

That little floating comma causes grief,

An apostrophic pain one might aver.

But syntactícal failures find relief

In three so simple rules . They’re de rigueur. Continue reading “Waterstone’s – poetry competition”

Next Poetry Competition

Back to where it all began, with a sonnet. Any rhyming scheme you like, but it must be 14 lines of iambic pentameters (with conventionally acceptable variants).

Subject – Waterstone’s or Waterstones.

Deadline – Sunday 29th January, midnight GMT.

It is therefore with regret that I observe that she has succumbed to the plague of Grocer-itis that has been sweeping the UK, gathering so many in its wake.

I earnestly hope and pray that she soon recovers. 😀