Category: General

Sometimes it DOES take a Rocket Scientist!!

British scientists at Rolls Royce built a gun specifically to launch dead
chickens at the windshields of airliners and military jets all travelling at maximum velocity.

The idea is to simulate the frequent incidents of collisions with airborne fowl to test the strength of the windshields.

American engineers heard about the gun and were eager to test it on
the Windshields of their new high speed trains.

Arrangements were made, and a gun was sent to the American engineers.

When the gun was fired, the engineers stood shocked as the chicken hurled out of
the barrel, crashed into the shatterproof shield, smashed it to smithereens,
blasted through the control console, snapped the engineer’s back-rest in two and
embedded itself in the back wall of the cabin like an arrow shot from a bow..

The horrified Yanks sent Rolls Royce the disastrous results of the experiment, along with the designs of the windshield and begged the British scientists for suggestions.

You’re going to love this……

Rolls Royce responded with a one-line memo:

“Defrost the chicken .”
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Say Cheese

I’ll admit I have to control my cheesy urges very strictly.  A chunk a day about an inch square is my ration but I do have the odd binge, especially if there is Stilton or Double Gloucester about.

About the only cheese I have ever disliked was the grated parmesan in pots that mater thought was the thing to sprinkle over spag bol when it was the new exotic foreign dish on the block. It did and probably still does, smell like cat pee whereas parmeggiano rough-grated fresh is very nice indeed. Continue reading “Say Cheese”

Pigspotter

Photocopped

A chap up in Jhb has been charged with obstructing the ends of justice for posting warnings of speed camera locations on Twitter.

Identified so far only as ‘Cliff’ he apparently  has a following of some 20,000 motorists, here is a sample of some of his tweets –

“Three piggies dust bathing in the shade by Epsom downs. Trapping,“

“Pork chops sitting under the shade with a speed camera on Jan Smuts Corner Adith Road coming from JHB CBD,“

In his tweets, Cliff refers to traffic police as “pigs”, “porkers” or “bacon rashers”.

News 24 reports that Cliff has now hired a lawyer and that nobody is quite sure if a crime has been committed or not!

PigSpotter has an innocent explanation for the term “pig” he uses to describe metro cops – according to him, it is an abbreviation for Police in Gauteng. (Gauteng of course being the name of the Province)

I rather like the term ‘dust bathing’ 🙂

The End is Nigh – an Apology

Another outdoor bowling season draws to a close. This is the last end of my last game on a sunny Sunday afternoon. My first indoor game is  tomorrow night, so I’m going to miss Boa’s ‘S’ quiz unless it’s really, really difficult or the usual suspects have left a few scraps for those arriving late at the feast.

Continue reading “The End is Nigh – an Apology”

Mobility buggy madness

I haven’t really got a thing about people in wheelchairs and mobility buggies but this made me smile.

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They can’t touch you for it, apparently but this guy, going about his business,  took up virtually the width of his side of the road.

Filmed in Wincanton, Somerset.   I just have to admire his independent “sod you lot” spirit.

Like the way he’s wearing a high-vis jacket – as though the carpet doesn’t make him obvious enough!