Jonathan
There once was a nondescript swift
(Try this after several glasses)
Whose antics left other swifts miffed,
In partic’lar the swift upper classes.
Problem was: he didn’t do swooping
Or hanging round roof-eaves or gables.
And nest-boxes left his wings drooping,
Like the corners of cloths on fine tables. Continue reading “The renegade swift”
Wiki photo
Grey and pretty, frilled and scaled,
with blood around her head,
at first I couldn’t ascertain
if she were live or dead.
“Some bastard hit her”, I did cry,
“And left her on the road to die.”
Continue reading “Henley the Bearded Dragon (Poetry Competition)”
Looking out on another blustery grey day, I remembered this:
Hope you like it!
Bless.
Waiting for my discoverer
I lounge on the decking of lust
‘Neath the flower pots of flowers that I do not know
Crocus, narcissus, aramanthus?
As the sun smiles with a shiny face
There is a buzz about the place
The air is alive with a kaleidoscope of a thousand Joseph coats
I open my drawbridge and drain my moat
The beautiful Princess of the air nears me
She has ignored -I don’t know- violet, daisy and… Andy?
My vivid clothing has attracted her
She gives my chest the lightest kiss
With dry lips I watch her go
Goodbye, my sweet Miss
I know that a lot of you fellas
(And fellesses too, come to that)
Are harbouring pets. I’m not jealous.
It’s your pome that I want, not the cat.
https://charioteers.org/2012/06/06/the-next-poetry-contest-pets/
Ralph let out a weak sigh as he missed another easy putt on the green. “I don’t know what’s the matter with my game today.” he said.
Ralph’s friend, Jeff, was his rival at today‘s friendly match play contest. Jeff had an answer.
“You’ve got the yips.”
“The what?” Ralph, although a keen golfer was unfamiliar with this saying.
“The yips, you‘ve got them. I know yips when I see them. You’re yipping all over the place.” yapped Jeff and he proceeded to give a demonstration of yipping using his putter.
“Does the yips hurt?” asked Ralph.
“No, it’s just a spasm you get before you putt. It’s psychological not physical.” muttered Jeff. Continue reading “Horror and more Horror”
Ode to a Strawberry Roan
A flighty filly, highly strung,
Prone to sudden shies.
The dogs attack, in fun no doubt,
In gleeful barking cries.
The hounds close in, she tossed her mane,
And in a sudden rush,
Her rider landed, winded now,
Into a handy bush
Continue reading “Ode to a Strawberry Roan: Poetry Competition”
After my trip back home last week I wrote to easyJet, complaining that all the cabin announcements were gabbled in Estuary English at high speed and unlikely to be understood by anybody at all, with obvious implications for passenger safety. I received this reply:
“Thank you for contacting us.
I can understand the level of discontent you have experienced onboard. Please accept my sincere apologies for the inconvenience caused.
Please note that each staff at easyJet is provided with special training before we gets into actual operations. I can sense that our endeavours towards training programme does not ended up in your favour. I extend my apologies for the same.
I acknowledge that the announcement were made onboard was badly spoken and did not understand it properly. For this I have noted your comments and assure that corrective actions will taken by our relevant department.
We pride ourselves on delivering the best customer service and would like to prove this to you. I respect your association and assure that you will receive a warm welcome on your future flights. I hope my email some way pacify your thought whilst choosing our services in the future. ”
Smiley thing – or should it be tears?
Boadicea's Chariot 
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