Category: Chips on Shoulders

Church vs. Church and others

It was bound to happen. A gene expert at Harvard (USA) reckons he can create a neanderthal person with some nifty lab work – and a little help from a homo sapiens female. Pretty clever, huh? Now I reckon it’s a first – an attempt to reverse the flow of human evolution, instead of all that effort to speed up its normal progress with prize-winning science and politically-correct social engineering. (Talking of which you’ll be relieved to know that the latest citizenship test for wannabe Brits would almost ceratinly outlaw half of the present incumbents, were they lucky enough to take part.)

Neanderthal Museum, Mettman, Germany

Frankly I’m shocked that Head Office in Rome and the PoW hisself haven’t mustered their legions to attack the Harvard heretic. How dare he play god, a privilege reserved for crown and clergy?

But what say you? Wouldn’t a few neandertals come in handy for light housework and other duties beneath One’s station? Definitely.

If I might

It’s offally risky talking politics here but I for one was pleased to see David Cameron’s bid to loosen the Eurocuffs which are dragging the members towards a state of bondage. Even more pleased that Angela Merkel wrong-footed Francoise Hollande by recognising that not every EU member wants totalitarian Eurocracy and will talk about the implications. Meanwhile don’t I hear many millions of Europeans shouting, “Yes! At last somebody is standing up and challenging the system.”?

Back at home, Labour doesn’t know what to say, except to reject the promised referendum or perhaps not. In fact Cameron’s tactics will be hard for Labour to oppose since they involve negotiating a ‘looser’ membership deal and asking the voters “Yes or No? In or Out”. They can’t oppose renegotiation because they know the strength of public feeling but equally they can’t jump on board. The Milimess will continue. But luckily even they won’t be proposing the Chinese model for the future!

French leave – again

Complaining of gross injustice at home, the gross Gerard Depardieu left for Moscow – a Napoleonic choice, I fear. We’ll see (as my 6-year-old granddaughter is wont to observe). But soft, what other luminary at yonder port of entry breaks cover? It is not Rosy-fingered Dawn but Carla and Nicolulla with a couple of sons, migrating to London – allegedly. Now I can see why Carla might fancy it – some of her ‘best friends’ are natives – but will the little fella really let a high tax-rate drive him out of (one of) his ancestral home(s)? I can only applaud his good taste if he does.

Honestly

The cynical hypocrisy of Lance Armstrong continues. No dignified Profumo-style retirement for him. His disgrace as cycling’s biggest-ever cheat is now compounded by his carefully orchestrated, tearful TV  ‘confession’, already billed as the greatest show on earth, with the clear objective of seeking sympathy and even more millions of dollars from the hoodwinked public. Pass the spittoon.

Primogeniture for girls

One’s favourite royal is concerned. He’s afraid his future first grandchild might be female, marry an RC and thereby convert the monarchy to the Roman way of worship. Which raises a few interesting questions, I’m sure. Like: Wouldn’t it be best for him and his subjects if he himself abjured his Divine Right on accession? He must be one of only a few who a) believe that he is on an equal footing with the Godfather in the Vatican, b) want him (the PoW) as head of the CoE and c) care what a monarch does in the privacy of his/her own chapel. Or is he?

Big Ears also worries about all his fellow dukes and other hereditary peers, if the first-born son should no longer inherit as of right. What is the problem? As far as I can see the silver-spooned girls seem to be perfectly capable of rivalling their brothers in privileged education, conspicuous consumption and proxy child-rearing. Or does Charles suffer from the ‘Enry ‘Iggins Syndrome? ” Why can’t a woman……….be more like me?”

Postal explosion

This elegant affair  used to be attached to our house, next to the front door, until about a year ago when the powers that be ordained that all such receptacles must be at the roadside, so that Postman Pat (subtle English unisex nomenclature, not possible in Danish) could deliver the mail without stepping outside the van. So it was duly relocated and the van now made its daily ruts in the grass verge, forbidden to approach the house, even with parcels. So far, so bad.

Then at around 3 a.m. on 1st January we heard an enormous bang  from the road – long after the annual fireworkfest had ended for most people hereabouts – but thought nothing of it. Just a few stragglers from a party having fun. But next morning we discovered that our fine box had been blown to smithereens – casting its various parts about 20 feet in all directions.

The telly reported later that there had been a spate of such hilarious events. My thanks go to the Post people for making it all possible.

Call it science, doh?

Vintage Christmas Elves Gift Giving Card

Let’s look forward to another year of ground-breaking research; never mind Higgs Boson, when you can marvel at this one.

“Performing deliberate acts of kindness makes pre-teen children more popular with their peers, say scientists.” Well! Would you believe it? Funnily enough I don’t have public funding or charitable tax status but I’ve just witnessed, under strictly anecdotal conditions of course, a similar phenomenon when handing presents to grandchildren, and I’m not even a peer (or Peer if it comes to that).

“I was not completely surprised that students increased in happiness, because we have found the same effects in adults,” said the researcher.” Really? You mean, being nice to older people pays off too? Surely that will need further intensive research during a couple of fully funded doctorates?

For those cherished colleagues eager to look further into this amazing contribution to the sum of human knowledge, see: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-20851434

And the Yuletide Laureate is…..

Backside has been singing along merrily behind me, as we review the tasty fare served up by our cherished lyricists. While shepherds watched, Away in a manger, In dulci jubilo, Deck the halls, O tannenbaum and Ding dong merrily – they are all here, boasting their roasts and sprouting nicely. And what chucklesome lines to savour too! Continue reading “And the Yuletide Laureate is…..”