Category: Chips on Shoulders

Cheats always prosper

Human nature stinks so often, especially in so-called sport.

I always think of Dean Richards, the Leicester, England and Lions no. 8 who starred in the Bloodgate Incident; and Luis Suarez, the mercurial Uraguayan footballer who has an outstanding record of crossing the line. (Don’t even mention the countless cyclists.)

Both of my named cheats are now ‘reinstated’ and prospering. Does that mean we are expected to forget their transgressions? Is it OK to ‘put your hands up’ when you’re caught and go back to ‘normality’?

I don’t think so.

Just call me Sir

My headline is a quote from the ever charming PoW, addressed to his first wife; but it is also my own reply to this delicious BBC piece about French waiters.

http://www.bbc.com/travel/blog/20130918-is-this-the-end-of-the-rude-parisian-waiter

Are the Froggies finally seeing the error of their ways? I doubt it but it’s fun to watch them squirm.

No nicotine in the nick

I’m sure some cherished colleagues have diplomatically mild views on how best to punish criminals.

 

But HMGov has come up with a humdinger – taking the fags away from the 80% of inmates who smoke. What a stroke of penological genius! Let’s show genuine concern for the prison environment, not to mention the health of the minders and the minded.

Backside wonders whether most of the deprived denizens will ask for transfers to Rikers island, Bang Kwang or La Sante where they could at least nurse their bruises with a quiet drag.

http://www.theguardian.com/society/2013/sep/20/smoking-ban-plan-prisons-fears-disturbances

A mountain to……shift

This is a pile of gravel similar in size to mine. I’ve just spread 10 cubic metres of the stuff around our yard and entrance area, with a little help from my wheelbarrow and a shovel. I reckon that’s enough to fill a fair sized minibus. So now I’m knackered/stoned/laid but proud/relieved/superior.

Do any of you lay claim to  stupendous physical achievements of late?

Just (or unjust) thoughts

Criminal justice is a wriggling fish. You think you’ve grasped it and then it slides away into uncertainty (at least for me).

In India endemic rape and murder are being fought with the ultimate weapon, the death penalty; while in Norway mass murder is being treated with ‘civilised’ understanding, even some attempt to teach a lesson, whatever that may be.

I know the cherished hawks here will have a ready answer but I’m really not sure which ideas are the moral way.

http://www.theguardian.com/world/2013/sep/13/delhi-gang-rape-men-sentenced-death and

http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2013/sep/12/anders-breivik-university-oslo

From Backside, alias Worried, Tunbridge Wells

Another cherished colleague may have noticed that a UK soap-opera-star has just been acquitted of offences against an anonymous female minor. So far, so good.

Except that the girl, the only ‘witness’ and supported by no forensic evidence, remained anonymous throughout the trial, seen only by the judge and counsel. Except that we, the people, have no way of knowing whether the accused even knew the girl, spent time with her during the many years he is accused of molesting her or what possible connection she claimed to have with him.

The jury, rightly, acquitted him – probably on lack of evidence. But he didn’t have the chance to be anonymous.

So I’m worried that something is rotten in the UK judicial system. I don’t condone the alleged abuse or have any reason to believe or disbelieve either party. I’m just worried.

Dontchya just love ’em?

A newly discovered painting by the peerless (and earless) Vincent Van Gogh has been dubbed ‘clogged and clumsy’, an ‘uncharismatic daub’ by a Grauniad hack. So judge for yourself.

File:Sunset at Montmajour 1888 Van Gogh.jpg

Backside reckons he would like it on his half of the wall, even if he had to excuse his affrontery whenever a self-acclaimed art journalist dropped in. Luckily, being mere punters, we are brave enough to say we like it.

http://www.theguardian.com/artanddesign/jonathanjonesblog/2013/sep/10/van-gogh-sunset-at-montmajour

Noddy goes to Westminster

The idea came to me when I saw that some Android software promoted by Google is to carry the name of that scion of York, KitKat. A bit like the Barclays Premier League, I s’pose. And I thought: what’s going to happen when the Heir Apparent, by now older and greyer in fact as well as ideas, eventually gets to wear the crown? What he needs is branding. (OK, I do mean with something hot but only metaphorically. Honest.)

So it will be the Enid Blyton Coronation, themed to the eyeballs with super-sized Noddy cars, smiling bobbies, Toytown buildings and naturally Big Ears starring as the new Mayor or whatever PC title he chooses to adopt.

Regrettably I don’t recall any female participants in the daily life of our two heroes – or even any horses – so the Duchess may have to take a back seat (but not literally, ‘cos there ain’t one) but what jolly fun it will be for the whole family, pretending they are cherished by so many people and living happily ever after.