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The Taxman

Dear Mr Addison,

I am writing to you to express our thanks for your more than prompt reply to our latest communication, and also to answer some of the points you raise. I will address them, as ever, in order. Continue reading “The Taxman”

TGIF, here we go….

APPLES & WINE

Women are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree. Most men don’t want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they sometimes take the apples from the ground that aren’t as good, but are real easy. Continue reading “TGIF, here we go….”

For the night shift 3

Can A Blonde Enter Heaven?

A rather tenuous Aussie link, but the best I could do at this time of night..

A Blonde was sent on her way to Heaven. Continue reading “For the night shift 3”

For the night shift Pt 2.

Australia.

Australia is a very confusing place, taking up a large amount of the bottom half of the planet. It is recognisable from orbit because of many unusual features, including what at first looks like an enormous bite taken out of its southern edge; a wall of sheer cliffs which plunge deep into the girting sea. Geologists assure us that this is simply an accident of geomorphology and plate tectonics, but they still call it the “Great Australian Bight” proving that not only are they covering up a more frightening theory, but they can’t spell either. Continue reading “For the night shift Pt 2.”

A Joke for the night shift down under

Aboriginal Tracker Somewhere between Karratha and Onslow in Western Australia  An Australian tour guide was showing a group of American tourists the Top End. Continue reading “A Joke for the night shift down under”

An Al Murray quote.

“Edinburgh is the loft extension of England”

🙂

Hair Today – Gone Tomorrow

The things that some people get up to. This made me laugh:-

http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2011/feb/11/womens-pubic-hair-removal-porn

Birds Long and short

The pic’s of the ostriches were taken at the Cape of Good Hope, the penguins at Bolder Beach further along the coast.

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Blackpool.

I pity anyone living there. I went there not long ago to an away match, trust me, never again. On a casual stroll out on the seafront, I happened to stumble upon a bloke and a woman having an enormous shouting match which descended into violence Continue reading “Blackpool.”

Terror Alerts

Variations on an oldie.
The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have therefore raised their security level from “Miffed” to “Peeved.” Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to “Irritated,” or even “A Bit Cross.”

The English have not been “A Bit Cross” since “The Blitz” in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out.

Terrorists have been re-categorized from “Tiresome” to “A Bloody Nuisance.” The last time the British issued a “Bloody Nuisance” warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada. Continue reading “Terror Alerts”