Author: theroyalist

The bedfellows Airfix and Bostik

My son’s fiancé has an unnatural obsession with the film Titanic starring Leonardo DiCaprio. She’s watched it innumerable times. To keep in her good books my son has to sit and suffer through it when she gets the notion to replay it again. Unfairly, she won’t watch Resident Evil with him.
Moving on.
The other day they came in from a day of shopping and I nearly choked on my iceberg lettuce when I saw what they had bought. Continue reading “The bedfellows Airfix and Bostik”

Growin’ Up

The flag of piracy flew from my mast, my sails were set wing to wing
I had a jukebox graduate for a first mate, she couldn’t sail but she sure could sing
I pushed B-52 and bombed them with the blues with my gear set stubborn on standing
I broke all the rules, strafed my old high school, never once gave thought to landing
I hid in the clouded wrath of the crowd, but when they said, “Come down,” I threw up
Ooh… Growin’ up

Lyrics by Bruce Springsteen

At festive and New Year time it is customary to visit relations with the odd neighbour thrown in for good measure. In our family from one day to the next you can find yourself antipodean/Question of Sportian either home or away. It’s never bothered me one way or another as we’re all one big happy family. Playing host or guest doesn’t matter as the venue may change, the friendliness stays the same. Continue reading “Growin’ Up”

Untitled

This is one of the hardest blogs I’ve had to write and I was in two minds before writing this because I feared my plain little words would not do the subject justice. New Year is a time for reflection and events from the past have caught up with us. Some anniversaries can be hard to take. The past week I’ve spoken to friends and family and some people I know from the other “tradition” and it does put things in perspective.

In a few days time it will be the fortieth anniversary of the Ibrox disaster and there will be a minutes silence at the ground before the Old Firm match on January 2nd 2011. A memorial service will be held at Ibrox Stadium the following day.

On the 2nd of January 1971 sixty-six Rangers fans lost their lives. Continue reading “Untitled”

The case for golf

There’s nothing wrong with a game of pitch and putt. Chipping and tapping the ball on a course where you can see every hole is a quick and pleasing walk. When I was young I can remember my Gran got a hole-in-one by using a putter from the tee off. The putter was the only club she used. “No point in carrying two of them about” she’d say. This “fluke” shot told me that there was something wrong with this sport. What is the difference between a six iron and a seven iron? Continue reading “The case for golf”

One Man and his Boy (Ferret’s Festive Comp)

This was going to be a tough Christmas for my son and I. Ever since my wife done a bunk with Bunk the detective I’ve had to resign from my job and take care of Danny full time. She’s always had a thing for men in uniform. Ironically, when Bunk snared her he was wearing a suit because he was serious Police. As Danny’s sole custodian I didn’t need to join Fathers for Justice and climb up on a high roof. That’s where she thinks she is: on a pedestal. The Queen of Sheba hasn’t had any contact with Danny since she left. One day she’ll fall from up on high and there will be nobody to catch her. Continue reading “One Man and his Boy (Ferret’s Festive Comp)”

Who will protest next?

Not sure if any of you follow Scottish politics, which in a quid pro quo way you should because we follow the England cricket team. Well the recent bad weather has forced the resignation of the transport minister, Stewart Stevenson. It’s in his brief to look out for unusual weather patterns and the storm last Monday caught him out. Continue reading “Who will protest next?”

Same again, Lorraine

No matter how many times my big astronomy pal, Brain May, tells me that there is no chance of Pluto and Uranus colliding, I still feel alarmed. Bandwidth is another of my worries. It was only recently that Bearsy issued a warning concerning over-sized photographs and the Galactusian space they were filling. Since then I’ve not posted a photo as I’m unsure of my sizing/formatting/cutting skills. In my opinion I think Bearsy was over-reacting because if this place does get bloated, unleash the beast that will be Boadicea’s Chariot Two Redux. Continue reading “Same again, Lorraine”

The case against rugby

Rugby is a game for men that can’t play football. The ability to cushion a ball with the instep, bend it with the outside of the foot or run fast with the ball under control-and changing direction- is beyond the capabilities of the lumbering brutes of the queer-shaped ball game.

Before I continue I admit to not having a wide knowledge of rugger and possibly some of the things in this essay could be countered by more learned gentlemen. The following is points based on my limited time spent watching the “ugly” game. Continue reading “The case against rugby”

Heat (things are seldom what they seem)- Janus comp

The tabloids had run out of clichés when the world decided to burn. Editors tried to express in print the blazing rays emanating from the big yellow star in the sky: Searing heat scorches Earth, Another fiery day, This is the age of Apollo’s rage. The capricious Sun was blazing and the times were-a-changing.

For three days record-breaking recordings of high temperatures had been reported around the planet causing catastrophe and change. The poles were melting, from space a red ring could be seen circling the Equator, tidal waves churned the doldrums and birds of paradise were sighted in the Thames. Continue reading “Heat (things are seldom what they seem)- Janus comp”