French

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m as francophile as the next man. M. Hulot is a hero, Bardot an icon, Paris the real deal. But like so many good things France is badly served by its people when the chips are down.

Remember Charles Le Nez? He’s the fella who decamped to London when les Boches invaded and returned home when the last shots had been fired, declaring he was the saviour of France. But he was the only European who believed it.

And now, when France faces a formidable force of British brains in the Battle of Brexit, what do les Froches do? They puff themselves up and bring out their most horrifying weapon, so often deployed against British tourists: Non speakee Eenglish.

It’s just the French way. Such self-belief! So divorced from reality! You have to admire them – or do you?

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  1. October 22, 2016 at 9:25 am

    This has been a terrible week for the EU’s global standing. First, Monsieur Barnier stamps his little webbed feet and demands that negotiations be held in French. This despite English having become the primary language since the 1990s and early 2000s when the Swedes and Finns were duped into joining and the former eastern bloc found their way to the Euro feed trough. His antics have largely been met by scornful bemusement in most of the world. As if that wasn’t enough, Canada has walked out of trade negotiations with the EU calling them “hopeless” and the EU “impossible” to deal with. Petulant and impossible — if anything, sympathy for Brexit is growing outside of Washington, DC which is ever more irrelevant.

  2. October 22, 2016 at 9:54 am

    When I was routinely flying into Paris I couldn’t work out whether the French were genuinely useless or whether it was just an act. I’m not surprised that the Krauts whooped their arses (and our’s) in WW2.
    You only have to compare the childish comments made by Hollande on Brexit compared to the more considered utterings from Merkel….although I’m not a fan of her either.

  3. October 22, 2016 at 3:18 pm

    Of course the aforementioned Charles set the tone with his constsnt ‘Non!’

  4. October 22, 2016 at 3:56 pm

    Jazz: After a certain Austrian-born dictator’s antics and reliance on rhetorical flourish, Germans have become wary of rants and excessive zeal. Thus, with the exception of a few occasionally more animated speakers German politicians will be very measured and understated. The French still like their dramatic speakers! However, today’s Hunland is a bit risible and one can fairly doubt that the current lot could organise a drinking party at an Irish pub. Sometimes I barely recognise this place as the country I spent my childhood in.

    Janus: In his defence, at least Le Charles avec un Grand Nez actually “tried” to lead France as if it were a great power with something to say. Monsieur Flanby simply tried to act like he has something to say even though it’s clear that, with France’s still notable presence considered, he’s simply not taken seriously.

  5. christinaosborne
    October 22, 2016 at 5:56 pm

    Had you been brought up in our home you would have been imbued with the rhetoric “Wogs begin at Calais” with your mother’s milk!
    .
    Never could quite understand what had got up the old man’s nose on the subject of the frogs but it was quite acceptable to bawl “Wogs begin at Calais” from a tender age, one of the few acceptable comments at the dinner table as I remember!

    Needless to say, with such conditioning I never took to the frogs or France and always considered they were better as enemies than friends, 1066 and all that! Always drove through hell for leather to get to Germany.

    The biggest mistake was building that bloody tunnel. I see no reason in a lifetime to abandon the principles of xenophobia which have stood pretty well for a thousand years.
    Consider, had we continued to fight our traditional enemies periodically we would not have to cope with the bloody brown wogs we have in such quantity underfoot now, would we? An awful lot of them come from Frog colonial territories.

    The real rot set in with universal suffrage, most couldn’t think their way out of a wet paper bag! The most ghastly mistakes ever since.

  6. October 22, 2016 at 8:52 pm

    But the Frogs are good for a laugh, not much else. 😎

  7. christinaosborne
    October 22, 2016 at 9:10 pm

    Forget the larfs, the only reason not to immolate them in a large cloud is the claret!

  8. Boadicea
    October 22, 2016 at 9:16 pm

    Can’t honestly say I’ve ever been a Francophile. I’ve always thought that a country that made a delicacy of snails and frogs legs rather than real meat had to be severely lacking in good taste. I’ve never considered French ‘haute couture’ to be very appealing either. And as for Paris being a beautiful city – my first visit convinced me it was a dirty, grimy place and vastly overrated.

    I’m told that the French outside of Paris are a different breed – but, since my experience of France is almost exclusively limited to Paris, I can’t comment on the “Rest’ of that country. The Parisians I found exceedingly arrogant – with very little to support their inflated opinion of themselves.

    It does not surprise me one bit that they are demanding this, that and something else – most especially that the negotiations on Brexit be conducted in French. They have never come to terms with the fact that English has become the universal language.

  9. October 22, 2016 at 9:20 pm

    CO: The French make some lovely hard sausages, too.

  10. October 22, 2016 at 9:25 pm

    Boadicea: The French are the only sensible Latins, save for the Portuguese. Parisians aren’t much to speak of but that really can’t be helped. So long as they stay in Paris they’re easier to avoid.

  11. October 22, 2016 at 11:34 pm

    Christina. “…….The real rot set in with universal suffrage, most couldn’t think their way out of a wet paper bag! The most ghastly mistakes ever since…..

    Absolutely

  12. October 23, 2016 at 8:22 am

    CO and Jazz, you should definitely get US citizenship! Your hero, Trump will fulfil all such desires – except he will avoid the IQ qualification out of enlightened self-interest. 🙂

  13. christinaosborne
    October 23, 2016 at 5:58 pm

    Not my hero J.
    Dreadful vulgar peasant, money never could buy class.
    He was amusing during the “build the wall “phase, since then he has merely become disgusting, just like Hilary!
    If I had to vote it would be for the Green party, The Libertarian is a moron.

    I find it totally unbloodybelievable that in 300 million people they can’t get better than this to stand!

  14. October 23, 2016 at 6:54 pm

    Yes, and it’s down to the system for selecting candidates. Only two significant criteria: money and money.

  15. christinaosborne
    October 23, 2016 at 7:02 pm

    Actually several people who were competent and civilised were asked to stand and declined. They were not prepared to put their families through it!
    Colin Powell and Condoleeza Rice for two. Neither had any money. I rather think with the modern media being so utterly intrusive into people’s personal lives that no one decent will ever be willing to stand again until the talking heads are restrained.

  16. O Zangado
    October 23, 2016 at 7:08 pm

    All I will say on this subject is that I hope, probably forlornly, that UK negotiators pursue our own national interest in respect of Brexit and beyond with the same singular dedication, ‘chutzpah’ (if that is the right word) and disregard for the interests of anybody else bar none that representatives of the French state have applied for generations. It has served them very well, but in the 21st century France is a financial basket case if the truth be known, protected within the EUSSR by the afore-mentioned pursuance of the myth of ‘La Belle France’.

    Oh, and Paris these days is little better than Beirut – a sh*thole kept afloat by faded glories and the monumental, rapacious arrogance of the Parisian French. In my humble wassname, like.

    OZ

  17. October 24, 2016 at 7:38 am

    My last visit to Paree was in 1993 – and yes I’m sure things have changed for the worse.

  18. October 24, 2016 at 11:32 am

    Ozinho and Janus: I asked a former colleague, an Obamastani whose lived in Europe several times and has been travelling to the continent for 40 years, about Paris. She said that until about 20 years ago Paris was still a beautiful city. Today, it’s a collection of tourist-trampled sites surrounded by slums. Still worth a visit or two in the off-season simply because it is what it is, but at best a shadow of what it used to be. She avoids it these days because it’s simply too depressing. Then again, she also lives in Dodgydagoland (may they be Mohammed’s bum boys for eternity) and finds it tolerable so I remain somewhat sceptical!

    That said, the polish is rapidly coming off Hunland, too. The Hunnish state’s liabilities are rapidly approaching Italian levels with a similarly grim demographic profile and onerous bureaucratic process!

  19. sheona
    October 24, 2016 at 5:55 pm

    I got talking to a Belgian couple and a lady from Paris at Nice airport. They were keen to ask me about Brexit and their attitude was envy. “Why can’t we do that?” The Parisian was warning against visiting not so gay Paree because of all the illegal immigrants who leave certain areas an open sewer, spread their litter around and of course increase the crime rate. So don’t plan to surprise Mrs J with a trip to Paris just now, Janus.

  20. October 24, 2016 at 6:41 pm

    Sheona, a Belgian friend said the same thing. And no more city breaks for us – except wonderful Copenhagen of course. 😎

  21. October 24, 2016 at 7:12 pm

    Sheona: More than a few Huns have told me the same thing. My generally placid and obedient compatriots in the realm between Jutland and Austria are getting feistier by the day. There is less and less that they’re unwilling to second-guess and “Europe” is a growing concern. As more and more baby boomers are becoming pensioners or nearing that point they’re somewhat concerned about the growing rate of inflation and the fact that their savings are not growing as interest rates are pitiful. People here also no longer feel safe and they’re growing ever more fed up with Angela’s “refugees” trashing the country.

  22. O Zangado
    October 24, 2016 at 10:45 pm

    This is Paris, October 2016, courtesy of YouTube. Warning! The comments below the film are pretty ripe to say the least.

    OZ

  23. October 25, 2016 at 8:41 am

    …and the Frogs reckon the Calais Jungle is England’s fault!!

  24. October 25, 2016 at 9:19 am

    Janus: Inform Backside that it’s actually Alex Salmond’s fault. His putridity attracts all sorts of foul flotsam and jetsam! Europe, it seems, is incapable of handling anything any more and the British have long been their whipping boy — their distraction. Now that they’re going to have to deal without the British, they might have to begin taking responsibility for their own failures. Not that they will do so happily, or even at all, but it will become harder…

  25. O Zangado
    October 27, 2016 at 10:33 am

    I read yesterday in the Da*ly M**l and elsewhere that some Syrian had rocked up in Germany with four wives and twenty two offspring. The German state is now paying benefits for the whole tribe allegedly to the tune of some €340,000 per annum.

    Firstly I thought bigamy (is there such a thing as quatrogamy??) is illegal in all non-Islamic countries worldwide, so why is there one rule for the gimmigrants and one for the rest and why is Germany bending over for them.

    Secondly, I think Christopher has been having us on all this rime with his frequent complaints about German bureaucracy.. It is obviously a doddle, a pussy cat of a system there immediately to help and assist anyone who asks.

    Hunkering down in expectation of incoming from Trier. 😀 😀

    OZ

  26. October 27, 2016 at 11:01 am

    Oz: Older aunt has terminal breast cancer. Because of this, she was given an invalid’s pension in order to see her through her final days. Under Hunnish law, after two years this would have to be renewed. Well, until recently… Now, instead of a terminally ill woman being allowed to live out her last few months or years in peace she will, should she survive the next 6 months, face being put on the dole. In Hunland that means having to sell off everything but the bare necessities and claim any funds she has the right to. This, incidentally, means her share of inheritance. That this risks leaving my 85-year-old grandmother homeless is entirely irrelevant to the disgusting dregs. Hunnish oiks are being tossed out on the streets by the slugs that call themselves “officials” in this country in order to house Pakistanis and Nigerians with enough legal acumen to game the system. Meanwhile, a Syrian widow has to live with her now 14-year-old daughter getting raped by North Africans in Germany. Naturally, the assailants will not be penalised — or even deported. Furthermore, Syrian and Iraqi Christians and Iraqi Yazidis are made to live on 120 euro a month and are being denied leave to work. Iranian converts to Christianity have their asylum requests denied, meaning they will be killed upon arriving in Tehran. In short, Germany is turning into a toxic cesspit in which legitimate refugees are dragged through the dirt, Germans are treated like assorted detritus and only the most cunning blood-suckers are gaining any benefit.

  27. October 28, 2016 at 4:35 pm

    Nice tribute to Miles Kington’s hilarious language, Franglais, penned by Richard Littlejohn in today’s Mail. Very drole.

  28. O Zangado
    October 29, 2016 at 8:33 am

    Christopher – my sympathies with your family situation and |I hope your aunt is kept peaceful and safe. I take issue with your assertion that some gimmegants have ‘enough legal acumen to game the system’ and that ‘only the most cunning blood-suckers are gaining any benefit’, but agree with your description of petty box tickers as ‘ the slugs that call themselves officials.’ I refer to them constantly as a fifth column determined to undermine their own country’s values. These ‘slugs’ will bend over backwards to further the interests of a gimmegrant because they feel it is ‘right on’ and ‘progressive’ so to do. The gimmegrant has only to sit back and awaits the deluge of largesse.

    Janus – I love Franglais. There is also a Hun version with such inspired phrases as ‘ He was alles ũber der Platz’ (He was all over the place), ‘Zwei richtig, Burgermeister’ (Too right, squire) and ‘Was kosten der Hunde in das Fenster?’ which I will leave you to work out for yourself.

    OZ

  29. October 29, 2016 at 10:12 am

    Oz: One thing you’ll find is that a good number Gimmegrants possess a great deal of legal acumen! It’s almost eerie. For example, when I go on holiday or live abroad I look for the location of the nearest Hun consulate or embassy and, depending on the situation, the nearest consulate of another European country. I’ve thus far only had to make use of the German consulate in San Francisco, but it’s something that’s useful to know. However, I’ll be buggered if I know how to fill in dole forms or scrounge on benefits! The only experiences I have with Chinese and Dodgydago bureaux were to get the proper documents to work and pay taxes. Quite a few legitimate refugees are dragged through the dirt in Germany. They aren’t the problem. The problem is with economic migrants — often quite cunning. They’re often amply prepared by smugglers and bleeding hearts to game the system and manipulate slugs into giving them whatever they want. Recently there’s been a notable problem in Germany with a subgroup of Syrians. They aren’t those living in Aleppo or other war zones. No, they’re the ones living in the UAE, Qatar and Saudi Arabia. They realise that holding a Syrian passport is enough to give them near-automatic refugee status in Germany and a good chance of council housing. They sell out in the Gulf, but leave their money hidden away in Middle Eastern bank accounts. They then go to Germany and play poor gimmegrant and live the high life, in relative terms. Meanwhile Eritreans and Iranian Christians are dragged through the dirt…

  30. sheona
    October 29, 2016 at 5:39 pm

    There is an excellent article in today’s Le Figaro by a French lawyer on the subject of the current state of chaos in France with thousands of illegals living rough. The write starts by pointing out that the problem started after the introduction of the Schengen open borders policy and the failure of successive French governments to apply the EU rules on immigrants and even France’s own laws on immigration. Illegals who have been picked up have been instructed to leave France, but have not actually been accompanied back to their countries of origin. Fearful of being labelled racist, the French government, and not just Hollande’s, has allowed thousands of illegals to infest the country and disturb the life of French citizens. Now that the Jungle has been cleared, the police in Calais are arresting the small numbers of illegals who still turn up there. If this had been done years ago then, bit by bit, migrants could have been dealt with properly. Instead the festering sore of the Jungle was allowed to grow. And France may well slide over to Marine LePen.

    http://www.lefigaro.fr/vox/politique/2016/10/24/31001-20161024ARTFIG00126-il-faut-dire-la-verite-les-migrants-de-la-jungle-de-calais-ne-sont-pas-des-refugies.php

  31. O Zangado
    October 29, 2016 at 8:17 pm

    Sheona – What a remarkable article! I am sure that similar sentiments are expressed in national newspapers across Europe, but which go against the grain of “Le Project” and are therefore politically unacceptable to the European Union elite and therefore not likely to be widely broadcast.

    What I always wanted to know is why all the illegal immigrants on France’s northern borders are the UK’s problem all of a sudden, as little Hollande was alleging (again) today by demanding that the UK (not a Schengen signatory) takes its ‘fair share’ of the gimmegrants that France has allowed into its own borders, and not the problem of those countries guarding the Schengen borders in southern Europe. Heaven forbid the opprobrium should be aimed at France itself for supporting Schengen in the first place.

    Now I know.

    OZ

  32. October 29, 2016 at 9:10 pm

    Oz: Oh, there’ll be an unpleasant surprise for France before all too long! I saw the illegal African population in Dodgydagoland grow wildly in the half-year I was in Portugal’s less interesting neighbour. As Dodgydagoland has little more to offer than a worthless police force that can’t be arsed to tell illegals not to set up illegal markets in the metro or on pavements, they’re unlikely to stay for long before heading to Hunland or our Sceptred Isle.

  33. October 30, 2016 at 7:23 am

    Le Petit Hollande is now imploring the UK to do its ‘moral duty’ over the Calais ‘children’. Why do our moral obligations trump his? If he doesn’t have a sense of humour, he shouldn’t mess with morals.

  34. O Zangado
    October 30, 2016 at 7:28 am

    Mornin’ Janus and here’s the Linkey thing to that little ray of hope.

    OZ

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