Britannia Rules… Leith?

I remember staying up late on the night of 23-24 June. Several times throughout the night I woke up with a start and went to check the status of Britain’s vote for freedom. When the results were finally announced I was nearly delirious with joy and exhaustion. Naturally, the actual political machinations are far murkier and slow than one would like but being realistic is a necessity. There is one development that has left me SEETHING with ANGER, to borrow the STYLING of the EXPRESS. The Royal Yacht Britannia could be RECOMMISSIONED.

As my cherished fellow charioteers might well know, I’ve had the pleasure of touring HMY Britannia twice. I’m rather too fond of the place and was slightly miffed when my humble request to move into the Duke of Edinburgh’s suite was declined with a chortle. They didn’t even consider my petition! HURRUMPH!

Anyway, to quote Marc-Uwe Kling’s pragmatically communist Kangaroo, “Tja, ist halt so”. Despite many prominent figures supporting the re-commissioning of the royal yacht, I question the wisdom of this decision. I support a royal yacht – of course. That Tone Bliar and Gorgon MacQuisling refused to commission a new one was an act of pettiness that hasn’t saved any money. If anything, having to inspect all premises prior to a royal visit has only cost more. The cost to the RAF, RCAF, RAAF and RNZAF to transport royal visitors is rather higher than one would like to think and, should a regular civilian airport be used, the cost associated with properly securing a large-enough area cannot be ignored.

Rather, in my humble opinion a new royal yacht ought to be commissioned. Edinburgh went out of its way to build a berth for her and she’s now very much a Leith fixture. There is still some shipbuilding left on the Clyde and a new royal yacht would be a welcome boost to that industry. As we have seen with the new Australian State Coach, HM’s loyal subjects are still happy to contribute something of their resources and time for such endeavours and a new royal yacht would be a chance to symbolise Britain coming out of Europe’s shadow and back into the world. That, and I will have no choice but to stamp my feet and mope if one of my favourite sights in Scotland would be taken from me.

Author: Christopher-Dorset

A Bloody Kangaroo

25 thoughts on “Britannia Rules… Leith?”

  1. Not sure it would enhance Boris’s chances of wooing potential friends. Too similar to a gunboat and not enough accommodation for the retinues.

  2. Janus: Who said it would be for Boris? The royals do a better job at such things, anyway.As for gunboats, that might actually do well! Especially with the Chinese! I’m sure they’d be chuffed to bits at the sight of a British gunboat travelling up the Pearl River Delta!

  3. Britannia would require a total refit and probably new engines, very expensive. Not sure that it would really be worth it.

  4. Jazz: The British government would also likely have to pay Edinburgh a fortune in damages. After all, a lot of money was spent on preparing permanent berth and building facilities to house her — not to mention the loss of income that she generates.

  5. Greetings from the Cinque Terre, an area of great beauty and really rubbish Internet access.

    Please remember that Leith does not exist, having been absorbed into Embra nearly one hundred years ago.The correct usage is, therefore, ‘that district of Embra formerly known as the City of Leith’ or ‘that tip where the worst team in Embra, and possibly the world, try to play what kind-hearted souls might, in charity, aceept as being close to a form of rudimentary football.’

  6. Och, I don’t know, Janus. It’s beginning to pall. Still too crowded, even at the end of the season, and I’m starting to miss my changeable Embran weather, my garden and my dog.

  7. Glad to hear it, JM. True Brits know how to ration their visits to foreign parts, eventually recognising their….inadequacy. 😎

  8. JM: “Leith” is shorter and thus doesn’t hog the title.Agreed about the football, or what passes as football. Said “team” has supporters almost as pitiful as customers of the great Hunnish TESCO imitation, Kaufland, where men in permed mullets walk about in broad daylight. As for wretched internet, Deutsche Telekom have delayed my application/hiring process in Japan by two weeks and have summarily decided to delay it by another two weeks as I have a day-by-day plan with too low a data limit to send the required files. Fortunately, a kindly Pole has agreed to let me use her internet.

    Janus: Very true. Perhaps Europe’s only redeeming feature is that it’s close to Britain.

  9. No doubt spite was a large element of getting rid of the old one. A new one would probably end up cheaper than keep on hiring aircraft at ludicrous costs.

    I have a Ligularia growing in my garden, I can visit at no trouble at all, 10 second journey to get there!

    JM puts his finger straight on it, ghastly peasants, ghastly jungle heat, lack of soothing garden and the reputable company of canines! Just so, sod these holidays. All the horror and then they expect you to pay? More likely they ought to pay you to go there. I was always rather amused that I saw most of Europe at the Expense of the American Embassy in London and courtesy of Georgia Pacific and was paid to go to boot. About as it ought to be! I only put my hand in my pocket to get back to Wales!!

  10. CO: Which, frankly, shows why I much prefer northern Europe! I’m perfectly content to taking long walks in the frigid Swedish winter or watch the sun set over Denmark! As I get older I increasingly limit my interests to the Nordic countries, UK, Netherlands and Japan. Oh, and Australia.

  11. I worked for the Embassy freelance and the ex model was one of GPs executives. I used to navigate him round Europe. Try finding ‘Rhinealley’ in every town at the speed the krauts drive, you can see it but rarely get down to it by the river. All wood importers are near the water for barges! Try Rotterdam docks with about a zillion wharves too. Our work overlapped in promotion and sales of US timber.
    Must write you a tale about that! Super punch up at a ‘white tie’ dinner. Splendid stuff.

  12. How curious, when I left uni I had a job with Wiggins Teape as a statistician. Ely Mill Cardiff,. Left to go and work for the Western Mail.

  13. And…..a college mate joined English China Clays and eventually ran an information service about the paper and pulp industry. I bet you featured!

  14. My one stipulation, whether Britannia be recommissioned or a new one built, would be to have Blair attached to the anchor.

  15. Sheona: If Tone Bliar were to be tied to the anchor of a new royal yacht at least £1 billion would be raised by public subscription within the week!

    Janus: What, such a lovely man? Who couldn’t help but hand over his life savings to our charming former PM!

  16. I’m sure Rupert read Bliar’s motives perfectly too. And maybe Rupert has helped to sully Blair’s reputation ever since. Just saying….. 😎

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