Julian, Gregorian, Jaydubyian
There’s never enough time to do all the chores and leisure that a human wants to do. There’s still many mountains to climb, rivers to cross, swamps to ford, twisters to outrun. More time is needed and I have the solution.
Previously, I proposed an extra hour in the day. A 25 hour day would be manna from heaven. This gives us more time but it’s as clear as daylight that this pilot plan does not fix the problem. My suggestion now is to add an extra month to the calendar. This idea is not as crazy as it sounds. It’s obviously been done before.
Consider the calendarial ber month prefixes: sept, oct, nov, dec. I’m not an expert on these things but an educated guess would be, seven, eight, nine, ten. Yet these months September, October, November, December are months number nine, ten, eleven and twelve respectively. Somebody, somewhere along the line has added a few extra months to the total. Well played, that man, I know where you’re coming from. They must have been short of time in the Dark Ages or whatever and thus made more time available.
It would be no big deal to add another month. Things change, all the time. Poor Pluto got booted off the planets list, didn’t he? There goes his chance of making it onto the remake of Holst’s The Planets Suite with the extra bonus track. It could get worse. One of the horoscope signs might get dumped. Pray it’s not your Zodiac star; that tattoo on your arm will look more foolish. But the mathematical business required in the calendarial case is not to take away, it’s to add. +
Again with no knowledge on the subject, I refuse to google, I’ll guess that the extra months added to knock the ber-ending months out of sequence would be the ones in the middle age. The girlie named ones: April, May, June. The Dark Ages man’s old girlfriends have been set in stone on the calendar. As it’s my brainstorm I get to select the name of the extra month. I’ll go with tradition.
The month of Morag will be after June so it won’t be long coming. It’s magic, isn’t it? All those new dates of birth, birthday cards, diary entries, extra holidays. And there’d be time for those many mountains to climb etc. It will give the cultural world a shot in the arm, too. Poets and writers will have new material to play with. The Hunt for Red Morag, The Teahouse of the Morag Moon. My love is like a red, red polythene bag, that’s newly sprung in Morag.
Another addition is that I’d give the month of Morag 32 days. The old nursery rhyme, Thirty days Hath September, will have to be drastically amended giving Morag her pride of place. The reformed calendar signals a new era for Mankind. I await the thanks for all the Fergie extra time I’ve created.