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If you want to know the time……

Matt cartoon, 26 November

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Categories: Humour
  1. November 26, 2015 at 8:45 am

    But let’s not forget the poor old SNP! Have you noticed how quiet they are these days?

    http://www.scotsman.com/news/snp-urged-to-say-sorry-as-north-sea-revenues-plunge-1-3958924

    As George says, if Nicola had won, she’d now be explaining why her North Sea revenue forecast slipped by 94%! Luckily for her, she can now depend on the UK’s relative strength.

    Meanwhile at the Oldham by-election next week, the Monster Raving Loony candidate is: Sir Oink A-Lot.

  2. November 26, 2015 at 10:50 am

    I have looked at Mr Salmond during the budget yesterday, yes he was very quiet and tried very hard to look like a good looser. Bitain certainly brought Scotland back into its place, let’s see about the next by-election…
    Overall we need people like Nicola, she is more of a strong opposition than many other in the Labour party.

    Police forces are now a bit uplifted, but hopefully rather focus on intelligence matters and immigrants than the individual law-abiding people like you and my family members, who live in England.

  3. O Zangado
    November 26, 2015 at 11:21 am

    Au contraire. As I said in a previous comment, Angus Robertson, the leader of the Jockanese Nazionalists in Westminster was on his hind legs earlier this week opposing the renewal of Trident as he is this morning opposing UK air strikes on assorted sandbag and raghead nutters in Syria. It is possible that the overrepresented SNP could delay or even prevent the upgrading of Britain’s nuclear deterrent. It is not as though the Gorbals or the Outer Hebrides are in the crosshairs of those who would do us harm, innit?

    Tell you what, let’s renew Trident for the security of the whole country, but remove the facilities and infrastructure from Jockland and relocate it all to Devonport or similar. Oh, and then sit back and wait for the SNP to start demanding ‘compensation’ for the loss of jobs and investment. At the same time we can tell Mr. Putin that it would be quite all right to drop a bucket of instant sunshine on Holyrood, but that doing the same on England, Wales or Northern Ireland would generate the most robust of responses.

    OZ

  4. November 26, 2015 at 12:57 pm

    Aye weel

    Sleekit was indeed ‘very quiet’ during the spending review debate yesterday.

    He’s even quieter today because he’s in Embra and just about to watch a painting of him being unveiled in the National Portrait Gallery. In Salmond’s world that is, of course, far more important in the scheme of things than being in his place at Westminster to give his input on Syria as the SNP’s Foreign Affairs spokesman.

  5. November 26, 2015 at 2:12 pm

    OZ, I couldn’t agree more.

    JM, it’s always a pleasure! Where have you been all our summers? 😎

    The Fat Controller, paid double in recognition of his girth, left the job in the House to others, who also didn’t participate in the questions. But our man didn’t care, having been present at a Privy Council briefing. It’s all about the Big Picture, you see.

  6. Four-eyed English Genius
    November 26, 2015 at 4:17 pm

    I suspect Georgy Porgy was only flying a kite with his proposed cuts to see if he could get away with them without too much fuss. I also suspect he knew about the revised tax receipt forecast, so he could avoid the tax credit cuts and cuts to the policing budgets. They certainly need to be cut eventually, but he has merely postponed the day.

    While I would hate to see another Labour government inflicted on this country, it would be good to see them forming a strong opposition. With the present idiots running their show, there is very little chance of that!

  7. November 26, 2015 at 4:50 pm

    Oz: I quite like Edinburgh and there are buildings of interest and historical importance near Holyrood. The Palace of Holyrood is incredibly close, as is the Abbey. Now if the earth opened up and the Scottish Parliament — with the Sleekit Nazi Prats in it — was swallowed up by the sewage system beneath it a just end would be had! Other than that, I agree!

    FEEG: the SNP are the only real opposition, but they’re the worst party to be it. Their narrow nationalism still risks the long-term stability of the British Isles even though are increasingly relegating themselves to an over-rated party of protest. I suspect that they will go the way of the Parti Québécois.

  8. O Zangado
    November 26, 2015 at 6:01 pm

    JM – That is one classic comment, that is. I wish there were/was/ought to have been (nod to Bearsy :-D) a ‘like’ button.

    Christopher – Edinburgh is indeed a splendid city, as is Londonistan, which, on finals to Thiefrow, is a magnificent sight, particularly on a night approach as you may well have observed yourself. If the sandbags were ever to attempt a ‘9/11’ in the UK, all it takes is for some chaser of virgin paradise to hijack an airliner over Docklands, shout “Ali’s snack bar” and push the control column right and downwards towards Westminster, Buck House, or so many other prominent targets. Alternatively, a less committed rag head, possibly already UK resident, could just sit in a car park (or even his back garden) in Hounslow or Staines and nonchalantly shoulder an AIM launcher towards anything large, low and slow with its flaps and undercarriage dangling. I do hope our security forces remain alert.

    OZ

  9. sheona
    November 26, 2015 at 6:12 pm

    FrauoE, Sturgeon is not in Westminter so can only tell the SNP MPs what to do, that is those who are not absent because of financial irregularities. So Sturgeon can only be an annoying voice off and would in fact do better to try governing Scotland properly. She will also have to work on Plan B – independence for Scotland on tuppence a year.

    OZ, there were reports of some idiot (headwear unknown) shining lasers at the cockpits of approaching jets.

  10. November 26, 2015 at 6:14 pm

    Now as we have gained an increase in the dence budget through ever pressing UKIP and a very ambitious Prime Minister, defense shouldn’t be such a problem. ISIL’s preferred targets do not include the UK, so altogether Alert Level rather AMBER, no worry for you lot and myself as a german.

  11. November 26, 2015 at 6:16 pm

    Sheona – I understand, but nevertheless her influence should not be underestimated, some people appreciate her as a political force and this is all what counts. I do not think, that she works on plan B, but this is rather my gut feel, I might be mistaken.

  12. O Zangado
    November 26, 2015 at 7:18 pm

    Sheona – I saw that. You can now buy ‘industrial strength’ lasers on t’interweb and one co-pilot has not flown since earlier this year because of retinal damage caused by such an attack although I guess it was probably perpetrated by some spotty, sewer dwelling hoodie rather than a rag head.

    FoE – “ISIL’s preferred targets do not include the UK, so altogether Alert Level rather AMBER, no worry for you lot and myself as a german.”. Erm, does the name of Gunner Lee Rigby strike any cords with you? Or the 7/7 attacks in London? And don’t even get me started on the Oirish of old. They haven’t gone away either.

    OZ

  13. November 26, 2015 at 7:32 pm

    OZ, that is longer ago, I am speaking about the current terrorist threat level, not what happened 10 years ago.

  14. November 26, 2015 at 7:33 pm

    latest results from the interlligence gathering has a ranking: FRANCE, RUSSIA, ITALY and the rest of the world

  15. November 26, 2015 at 8:08 pm

    FoE: the UK is one of the top targets for terrorists and British security forces foil scores of plots yearly ranging from the Religion of Peace to the Oirish. In the post-Bush era terror cells work remotely and recruitment is often done online. There were several terror attacks of this sort in the US recently. In Oklahoma last year a recent convert to Islam, inspired by ISIS, hacked the heads off several co-workers for refusing to submit to Islam. Earlier this year a convert to Islam shot up a college in Oregon, shooting people if they were not Muslims.

  16. sheona
    November 26, 2015 at 10:59 pm

    FoE, if this was plan A, then Sturgeon had better be working on plan B.

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-scotland-politics-34837167

  17. O Zangado
    November 26, 2015 at 11:02 pm

    FoE – OK, so is the Tunisian massacre on 26 June this year in Sousse where 30 British holidaymakers lost their lives current enough to constitute a clear and present danger to the UK? And please don’t tell me that the atrocity occurred abroad.

    Linkey thing

    OZ

  18. sheona
    November 26, 2015 at 11:03 pm

    OZ, while you might consider the SNP over-represented no, two MPs have already withdrawn quietly “to assist the police” as they say. Going, going …

  19. O Zangado
    November 26, 2015 at 11:09 pm

    Sheona – I must admit not to have heard of these developments. Can you elaborate, please?

    OZ

  20. November 26, 2015 at 11:48 pm

    Oz: it is nearly impossible to gain entry into an aeroplane’s cockpit these days so the more likely of the like is the shoulder-mounted AIM. The flight path to Hellrow requires aeroplanes to fly eerily close to the ground. It is a marvellous sight, but it make it an easy target. A single good shot and there would be a catastrophe — especially if it crashes in the Square Mile, or Square 1.6 Kilometres for EU-fanatics. The flying shrapnel and burning jet fuel would cause more damage yet — especially if an A380 or 747 is hit.

    Two SNP MPs — Michelle Thomas and Natalie McGarry have resigned because of major scandals. Thomas built her buy-to-let business on abusing poor families who couldn’t afford legal help and McGarry happened to make £30,000 disappear from Women for Insanity, er, Independence accounts.

  21. O Zangado
    November 27, 2015 at 12:25 am

    Thank you for the update, Christopher, although the first suspect I have found is Michelle Thomson, not Thomas, who was an American actress.

    Michelle Thomson

    and a link to the Dark Side for the fragrant Natalie

    Natalie McGarry

    OZ

  22. November 27, 2015 at 12:31 am

    Bugger! Yes, it is Michelle Thomson. I blame Alex Salmond for the typo. The SNP are slowly self-destructing which pleases me to no end. There are far too many contradictions and hating England isn’t a sound foundation for future success!

  23. Boadicea
    November 27, 2015 at 10:25 am

    FoE – we do NOT need more Nicola Sturgeons. A good opposition is one who counters the incumbent government’s proposals and programmes with good, sound, logical rebuttals – not idealistic rants. Not only is Sheona right that the dreaded Nicola isn’t in Westminster – she isn’t even a member of the Labour Party – just the leader of an over-represented-in-Westminster mob of Nationalists with unrealistic aspirations to be Socialists.

    As for the UK not being prime targets for ISIS – think again. Britain is seen as being joined at the hip with the USA – who meddle continually in the Middle East.

    Moreover, all Western countries are at risk from Muslim nutters – even if they don’t carry the ISIS label. Fundamentalist Muslims (and they are Muslims whatever anyone says) hate and detest our Western culture. Like all fanatics, they use their religion to justify their actions and are determined to cause as much havoc as they can.

    You are dead right FEEG, the present Labour mob are a very sorry lot…

  24. November 28, 2015 at 4:49 pm

    Boadicea – you are right from the UK perspective I must admit, but nevertheless the german press reported in a different way and in the end we all live from the information in the media.
    Regarding the Labour mob, I reserve judgement and see Corbyn as a man with conviction, who has been unanimously voted as leader by his party members. Who knows what the mainstream politicians try to do behind the scenes, using the media to ‘gang up’ on him. Politics in the end is a dirty business.
    Trying to be objective regarding the SNP matters, Sturgeon made brilliant speeches prior to the election and has gained a big mandate for her own party and without her not as many SNP MP’s would sit in Westminster in the first place. But thanks for the Info Christopher, I did not know about the recent resignation of the SNP MP’s either.

  25. November 28, 2015 at 6:00 pm

    FoE: it wasn’t “unanimous”. He won by a large margin, but hardly everyone voted for him. Miliband lost in large part because he was seen as being too far to the left. Corbyn was an ideological choice, not a pragmatic one. He is relatively consistent and politics is a filthy game, but he has often been on the side of the enemy — the IRA and nearly ISIS. Not the sort to rule the realm!

  26. November 28, 2015 at 6:07 pm

    He is typical of the Loony Left, like Foot and Benn. Hopeless on either Bench.

  27. christinaosborne
    November 28, 2015 at 7:05 pm

    Why is it that these damned terrorists never manage to assassinate anyone who needs it in the UK?
    Everybody else seems to get convenient political assassinations and all we get is blown up horses, pubs and undergrounds.
    Life is totally unfair when we have more than our fair share of suitable candidates.
    Hanging them from lamposts is so smelly and insanitary but perhaps one could make an exception occasionally!

  28. December 4, 2015 at 3:22 pm

    Bodicea – “You are dead right FEEG, the present Labour mob are a very sorry lot” – seems to be going uphill with them taking into consideration the result of the by-election in Oldham yesterday and Tony Benn’s excellent speech in parliament representing the party.

  29. December 4, 2015 at 3:28 pm

    Pedant alert: it’s Tony Benn’s son, Hilary, who made the speech. He is much less loony than his dad.

  30. December 4, 2015 at 5:06 pm

    yes of course janus, I cannot judge about his Dad, but his speech sounded very genuine

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