Ballad Blues for Jamie MacNab
A ballad was the chosen form,
Or so our Jamie said.
It tells a tale and gallops on
So that’s the way to head.
So bold as brass this “poetess”
Start to scribble verse.
The story line is proving hard,
I’m getting rather terse.
So glass in hand per his advice,
I try a line or four.
It doesn’t really seem to work;
I’ll try a couple more!
Another glass and stanza four;
It’s taking shape quite well,
The story line is still not there,
By now who gives a hell?
Stanza five and steaming on,
I think I’ve cracked this lark.
Another bottle hits the dust,
And suddenly it’s dark.
I can’t give up, but really should,
My head is spinning now.
It’s got to stop, I need my bed
The end is nigh, and how!
Boadicea's Chariot 
Ahem: there does not seem to be a category for .. er “poetry”. Is this deliberate?
But on the morn it won’t be well,
She’d lie there if she could.
The bed is spinning, truth to tell,
“Oh, my heady blood!”
She staggers out and down the stairs,
To make a cup of tea
And eat dry toast, bereft of care,
And maybe have a …..nother little lie down.
Hey, this pomeing thing is a doddle! 🙂 Happy weekend, Araminta.
OZ
Ah ha: competition Oz: how very dare you, to quote the pink-eared one!
Good though, I have to admit; very Friday nightish. Happy weekend to you too. Cheers 🙂
🙂
Thank you Nym: do you think they are ready for this? 🙂
Ara, good evening.
This is oddly familiar. Is it perchance your entry in Jamie MacNab’s Ballad competition on MyT back in Autumn 2008? If so, I seem to recall that it lost out for the prize of a bottle of Blue Nun to a superb effort which, incidentally, excoriated hmb for cheating with blatant plagiarism.
Can’t remember who won and I could, of course, be wrong.
Evening John: you have a very good memory. I believe that Ethel was involved somehow. In fact, she wrote this, but made me publish it. I think there was a certain amount of cheating going on. 🙂
Funnily enough, Hawthorn mentioned it not so long ago; it made him feel dizzy apparently. I think he meant well.
A new Pam Ayres?
Very much in that genre, Nym: but I don’t think Eff is quite in her league!
Araminta – with reference to your #1
There is now. And there’s also another category for “Bad Poetry”. 😆
Oh, thank you, Bearsy: you can be so crule! 🙂
But it may come in useful, sob.
Aw, Ara; I liked it, in a Friday nite zeitgeist kinda way…and thanks for highlighting the need. Do you think you could get Louise Doughty over here as well…?
Hello Claire: thank you, I think we need a bit of culture here ; cough! 😉
Yes, we have a “bad poetry” category: it’s really wicked. Louise would love it, well possibly!
Hi Ara; agreed! A bit like Liverpool, European Capital of (drinking) Culture in 2008…? ; )
Actually, I seriously think MyT is on the downward now. Didn’t believe the rumours until all the writers began thanking Louise on her latest post, in a kind of swan song way…( ;
Oh, I must have missed that, Claire. Is she really deserting the sinking ship then?
Shame really.
Well I hope not, Ara! That was the first thing that drew me there in the first place…maybe we could set up similar thing here. Although what is funny/interesting about MyT’s comp is that you never totally know what you’re gonna get when you post a story. A bit like in the Real World really…
I wrote a short story once for the competition. I think I hold the record for the most comments on a short story. To be fair, most of them were either obscene, abusive or hysterical shrieks along the lines of “get a life” and so forth, but all good fun. 🙂
Ara! No way; I thought I was the only one to get the hate mail…I perpetrate it though, by slinging the mud back; typical of me. All the other writers practise a zen like rise above it mentality, which I have worked hard to cultivate.But I quite like the idea of stories floating around out there, ready to hook some poor unsuspecting MyT blogger in. That’s why I don’t ‘do’ creative writing websites really…
Blimey: it’s late: I must go to bed. Thanks for the comments, and if you have any uncontrollable masochistic tendencies, you can click on my name on the Authors’ Bogroll on the right of this page and you can find some more bad poetry. I will understand if you just have a quick look around and depart in stunned silence.
Araminta,
I prefer you in your attack role. Far more insight there!
Aha Tocino: OK, just point me in the right direction 😉
I propose we ship Louise in as a visiting eggspert. But remember she has an aversion to male academics so make sure our occasional Dietician doesn’t show.
Arrers, your verses show promise. Metre and rhyme OK. A little more bathos neded in the last line of each stanza. o)
I meant 😮
Ooh, thanks Janus: I think. I will er get to grips with more bathos, if that’s possible! 😉 I thought I’d cornered the market.