Myanmar’s Mandela Moment?

Burma’s pro-democracy leader Aung San Suu Kyi is free.

 

A lady whose example of moral courage I have admired for some time.  The question is, how long will the Nazi thugs who run Burma let her stay free?  We should not forget that her party won a general election in Burma the last time one was held – in 1990 –  but, instead of letting her take her place as the country’s leader, she was placed into house arrest.  I hope, for the sake of the people of Burma, that the Nazi Junta has finally accepted that their time has come.

’Things are seldom what they seem…’, Writing Competition November 2010

The major turning point in Dennis’s life started with an innocuous enough comment.
“We should get a dog,” said his wife Madeleine one Wednesday morning over breakfast. Continue reading “’Things are seldom what they seem…’, Writing Competition November 2010”

Instincts of self preservation.

I would like to think that my survival instincts are quite finely tuned; somewhere between cowardice and neurosis.

I’m normally the first out of a building when the fire-alarm goes off. I happily abandon my shopping and proceed at speed to the nearest exit. Yes, I know they normally go off by themselves but I’d rather not take that chance. I’m always surprised to see everyone else blithely carry on filling their trolleys. Continue reading “Instincts of self preservation.”

I should be conscripted.

New Direction for any war: Send Service Vets over 60!

I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I’m too old to track down terrorists. You can’t be older than 42 to join the military. They’ve got the whole thing ass-backwards. Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn’t be able to join a military unit until you’re at least 35.

For starters: Researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more than 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.

Young guys haven’t lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. ‘My back hurts! I can’t sleep, I’m tired and hungry’ We are impatient and maybe letting us kill some asshole that desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for a while. Continue reading “I should be conscripted.”

Groaners

  • The fattest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference.  He acquired his size from too much pi.
  • I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
  • She was only a whiskey maker but he loved her still.
  • A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of maths disruption.
  • No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery.
  • A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
  • A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in linoleum blown apart.
  • Two silk worms had a race.  They ended up in a tie.
  • A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall.  The police are looking into it.
  • Time flies like an arrow.  Fruit flies like a banana.
  • Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
  • Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway.  One hat said to the other: “You stay here, I’ll go on a head.” Continue reading “Groaners”