Category: General

A lady goes to her priest one day and tells him, ‘Father, I have a problem.

I have two female parrots,

But they only know how to say one thing.’

‘What do they say?’ the priest inquired.

‘They say, “Hi, we’re hookers, do you want to have some fun?”

‘That’s obscene!’ the priest exclaimed,
Then he thought for a moment and said
‘You know, I may have a solution to your problem. I have two male talking parrots,
which I have taught to pray and read the Bible..bring your two parrots over to my house and we’ll put them in the cage with Francis and Peter. My parrots can teach your parrots to praise and worship and your parrots are sure to stop saying that phrase in no time.’

Thank you,’ the woman responded, ‘this may very well be the solution to my problem.’

The next day, she brought her female parrots to the priest’s house.
As he ushered her in, she saw that his two male parrots were inside their cage holding rosary beads and praying.
Impressed, she walked over and placed her parrots in with them.
After a few minutes, the female parrots cried out in unison:
Hi, we’re hookers, do you want to have some fun?’
There was stunned silence.

Shocked, one male parrot looked over at the other male parrot and exclaimed,

‘Put the beads away, Frank, our prayers have been answered

Happy Feet – My Way

Reproductive medicine seems ever more problematic, and the latest difficulty to hit the headlines is the fact that some women who have undergone IVF, sometimes on the NHS and sometimes privately, then change their mind and have an abortion.  “Data obtained from the Human Fertilisation and Embryology Authority reveal that an average of 80 abortions are carried out in England, Wales and Scotland each year following IVF treatment.” Continue reading “Throwaway babies”

Sometimes I lie awake at night and ask why me? Then a voice answers nothing personal, your name just happened to come up.
Charles M. Schulz

Goodnight everyone, sleep well.

Have I missed something?

I don’t do anodyne, nor politically correct…do I have to head for the door?

In view of the recent changes should I post a knitting pattern or three ?

I could start on my next Monty Mouse episode instead,  if you think it will help! (Smiley Thing)

Subject: dentists

The dentist pulls out a numbing needle to give the man a shot.
“No way.  No needles.  I hate needles.” the patient says.

The dentist starts to hook up the nitrous oxide and the man objects.
“I can’t do the gas thing.   The thought of having the gas mask on is suffocating me.”

The dentist then asks the patient if he has any objection to taking a pill.

“No objection,” the patient says, “I’m fine with pills.”

The dentist then hands him a pill and a glass of water and says, “Here’s a Viagra.”

The patient says, “Wow, I didn’t know Viagra worked as a pain killer.”

“It doesn’t,” said the dentist, “but it’s going to give you something to hold on to when I pull your tooth.”

Carreras – Nessun Dorma

Landed back in the UK last Saturday and stayed overnight with friends in Leeds.

On the morn, tooled off to the nearest Tesco to fuel up for the drive North. Nipped into said Tesco to buy a pint of milk.

Now, I had not realised this before, but there is, apparently, some sort of football competition about to start somewhere. It would seem that England are playing in it. Wall to wall flags of St George everywhere.

Continue reading “A Tale of Two Countries and One Nation.”