Category: General

Neat bomb patterns

In the 60s and at the height of the ‘Cold War’ I was stationed in Germany for three years. I had a really nice time there, to the point of considering going back to work and live there when I left the forces in 1969. Well, I didn’t, but I did have a life changing experience there. I read ‘Catch 22’ by Joseph Heller. Reading this book wasn’t my prime reason for not signing on to a retirement age in the forces, but it was a contributing factor.
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Now as then?

However much we may sympathize with a small nation confronted by a big and powerful neighbours, we cannot in all circumstances undertake to involve the whole British Empire in a war simply on her account.
Neville Chamberlain

Goodnight everyone, sleep well.

Norwegian Virgins

Olof Swenson, out in his pasture in northern Minnesota, takes a lightning-quick kick from a cow…right in his crotch.

Writhing in agony, he falls to the ground.

As soon as he could manage, he took himself to the doctor. He said ‘How bad is it Doc? I’m going on my honeymoon next veek and my fiance, Lena , is still a Virgin – in every vay.’

The doctor told him, ‘Olof, I’ll have to put your willy in a splint to let it heal, and keep it straight. It should be okay next week, but leave it in there as long as you can. He took four tongue depressors and formed a neat little 4 sided splint, and taped it all together…quite an impressive work of art.

Olof mentions none of this to Lena, marries her, and they go on their honeymoon to Duluth.

That night in the Motel 6, Lena rips open her blouse to reveal her beautiful, untouched breasts.

She said, ‘Olof…you’ re the first vun! No vun has EVER seen deez.’

Olof immediately drops his pants and replies, ‘Look at dis Lena ….still in DA CRATE.’

For the first time in 6 years a new handbag.

Six years ago my aunt sent me a handbag from Germany to use. It has served my purposes very well,
though the time has come for a new one. The poor bag is filthy, stained, scratched up, and is missing the pull for the main compartment. As I have upgraded my main pen and pencil, courtesy of our own furry-arsed mustelid, I have chosen to upgrade that as well. I have placed the order for it and hope to receive it before the end of my spring holiday.