Category: General

What would you do if two gangs of thugs had a fight on a beach in Hastings?

In my line of work, the I am usually asked to do a job because something is not working, or is not working as well as it should.  Since I am in a specialised area of business, the job that needs to be done may not always have the wholehearted support of local management but have been imposed upon them from higher up the food chain.  (There is another area of work which is generally of the same type wherever it may take place; work against smugglers and counterfeiters.)  Being a contractor, it is often possible for me to come up with more radical or far-reaching solutions than would be possible from inside the organisation, since everyone can ‘blame’ me when I pack up my desk and take my cheque.  Most of what I do involves change, and much of the time, managing change also, though I’m not going to get into that here; what I do want to talk about is; ‘Why change?’

There are two reasons to change something, whether it be a physical object or a process:  it is broken, or there is a better alternative.  The first case is easy to identify; if something isn’t working it is pretty damn obvious to all.  The second case may not always be so clear.  In what way is the alternative ‘better?’  It is necessary to demonstrate quite clearly to all concerned, (all ‘stakeholders,’ in the modern jargon,) why any proposed alternative to an existing thing or process, would be ‘better,’ than what is to be junked and replaced.

When making the case for change, there is a process which ought to be followed, maybe differing in petty detail from time to time, or place to place, but the same in broad outline and in the steps that make for a convincing argument.  First, the reason(s) for making the change need to be clearly identified.  Next the proposed change(s) need(s) to be clearly explained.  If there is more than one alternative, each needs to have it’s merits and drawbacks clearly shown.  Then a recommended change needs to be proposed.  The change should be supported by arguments drawn out of the first two steps.  Finally the costs – financial and organisational/social should be precisely and transparently demonstrated, ( including the costs of doing nothing.)

That’s how it goes.  If change is proposed, make the case.  If you can’t make the case, expect to be shredded.

How good is your PA?

I am a great one for people watching and taking note of what people do in public, the best place for this is the train. People get on a train pick up their Blackberry, Iphone or normal phone and off they go, yakking away at the tops of their voices far all to hear oblivious to the world or the comfort of other passengers.

Last night on the 20.20 from Cannon Street to Orpington I had the misfortune to be sitting near a blond bimbo who originated in Essex (says it all really) who from the moment she boarded the train until she disembarked at Petts Wood was shouting away down her Blackberry, with a short break as she lost a signal going through the tunnel after Grove Park when all we heard was “Dad, Dad can you hear me? “ No you moron you are in a tunnel.

During this trip we were greeted by her life story and her boyfriend’s trouble with his ex-wife and the purchase of an IPad for his 8 year olds birthday. But this is not the worst of it.

We were also subjected to her life at JP Morgan, how she was placed there by Hayes who considered her one of their “Success stories”. She had been at a reception with JP Morgan where she was one of the PA’s being honoured.

This PA then began describing her boss, who is Saudi decent, and the department she worked for which handles all the Saudi region. She even went so far as to mention a couple of clients by name (me being an ex-investment banker will not repeat the names) and how they behaved.

After this dreadful behaviour she explained how she had drunk three large glasses of Rose then her and another person went off and had 2 bottles of wine between them.

Her parting comments to her parents was “No I don’t need a lift home I have the car parked on a road in Petts Wood” this after the drink?

Well it makes me wonder what sort of PA you have and are they just as discrete as this young lady, or perhaps JP Morgan just employ useless PA’s

Ignoring the bad grammar of ending the titular question with a preposition (Down, Bear, down! 🙂 ), how would you come back in the next life, if there is one?  Would men want more oesrtrogen and become child-bearers or would the ladies want more testosterone and become hairy hunter-gatherers?   Nature has already made her choice.  In short, who stays at home to look after the kids?

OZ

Right!  Sit up!  Pay attention!  As duly nominated and totally unexpected winner of the 8th photo comp, it befalls me to set the ninth.  OZ decrees (after consulting with an ailing NSW) that the subject shall be ‘AGE’

As Soutie did, I’ll leave the rest to your imagination and inventiveness.

Closing date is midnight on 31st May in your time zone.

Good luck.

OZ

Maria Damanaki, commissioner for fisheries, EUSSR.

EU unveils plans to pay fishermen to catch plastic

Trial project aims to provide fleets with an alternative income source income to reduce pressure on fish stocks

Erm, I don’t believe I am the only person devious enough to spot the flaw in this nutty proposal …

Approvingly, natch, posted in the Grauniad.

Since spring has finally sprung up here in the mountains, I shot these the other day.  The first shot is my two grandchildren enjoying the great outdoors, George with his iPad and Tina with her iPod touch.  (They were up for a ‘sleepover’ in the village.  The general view shows all the space I have – a little more behind me, but mostly taken up by a double gate.  The close-up shows a bit more detail.  The copper thingy is an old fashioned <s>Turkish</s> Cyprus coffee maker.  It’s a boiler thingy for hot water and the opening in the front is a heated sand-bed.  You run hot water into the cups, spoon in the coffee then cook it in the sand till it boils – takes longer than gas, but produces the best coffee.  I’ll take some shots when the roses bloom 🙂