Category: General

Scottish Christmas Greetings

When I was young, we did not really do Christmas in Scotland. Many people still worked at least the morning of the day itself. It was only as the 1960’s drew to an end that they started to take the whole day off.

I was a paper boy in the 1960’s. English papers were not published but all the Scots ones were. Sunday Christmas, in particular, was a total pain as every single household on my route took the ‘Sunday Post’ (ask Ferret about said paper) so the bag was twice as heavy. On the other hand, the tips were more generous as a result.
Continue reading “Scottish Christmas Greetings”

Poor old Christchurch.

I wonder what odds a bookie would give me for a bet on Christchurch NZ not existing within ten/twenty years?

I did posit some months ago that they would do well to move the city re the geology plus tectonics but was dismissed in pretty short order as ‘not knowing what I was talking about’.  Seems the exodus has already started.  One tenth of the population has already left.  With this new round of earthquakes destroying the relaid sewers etc etc it is only a matter of time before any rebuilding will fail to get any takers for insurance risks.  Who will rebuild traditional style at their own risk?  Not many.

I rather think that they have moved over a hot spot, ie the land mass has gone to the right and is now unfortunately situated over an effective ‘cauldron’.  This seems to happen all over the world, by studying caldera of previous eruptions and earthquakes, they move, albeit slowly over the aeons.  But it is in fact not the hot spots moving but the granitic continents above drifting about like scum on strawberry jam.  The movements are not random, they are moving back in a pendulum style movement together as in the old land mass of Gondwanaland. This can be seen quite clearly in Yellowstone and some parts of Indonesia.

Interesting subject, but I would cut my losses if I lived in Christchurch!  More to life than rebuilding the town every five minutes. I don’t think it is going to stop any time soon. Or else they had better start building to Japanese code standards.

Remember

THINGS YOU CAN ONLY SAY AT CHRISTMAS

1: I prefer breasts to legs.
2: Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist.
3: Smother the butter all over the breasts.
4: If I don’t undo my trousers, I’ll burst!
5: I’ve never seen a better spread!
6: I fancy a little dark meat for a change.
7: Are you ready for seconds yet?
8: It’s a little dry, do you still want to eat it?
9: Just wait your turn, you’ll get some!
10: Don’t play with your meat!
11: Stuff it up between the legs as far as it will go.
12: Do you think you’ll be able to handle all these people at once?
13: I didn’t expect everyone to come at the same time!
14: You still have a little bit on your chin.
15: How long will it take after you put it in?
16: You’ll know it’s ready when it pops up.
17: Just pull the end and wait for the bang.
18: That’s the biggest bird I’ve ever had!
19: I’m so full, I’ve been gobbling nuts all morning.
20: Wow, I didn’t think I could handle all that and still want more.

Furious Ferret

You want to see racism in all it’s ugly splendour?

Look no further than our own gubmint.

At a time when the whole world it seems is up in arms about a comment or two made in the heat of the moment by one uber precious, obscenely overpaid pig skin kicker to another, I saw this on the news last night and any festive spirit I had managed to amass was instantly drained.  Continue reading “Furious Ferret”

Dear Bearsy,

Just to let you know that there was a TV programme on Channel 4 this evening about the riots in England in the summer.  So they were definitely not just  Australian propaganda.  I didn’t watch it, since I wanted to watch “The Young Victoria” instead.

I want to wish you and Boadicea, setter of fiendishly difficult quizzes, as well as all Cherished Colleagues, even in Edinburgh, a very happy Christmas and a good New Year.

 

Marriage, alphabetically

After being married for thirty years, a wife asked her husband to describe her.   He looked at her slowly, then said, “You’re A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K.”

She asked,  “What does that mean?”

He said, “Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Foxy, Gorgeous, Hot.”

She smiled happily and said, “Oh, that’s so lovely.  What about I, J, K?”

He said, “I’m Just Kidding!”

His eye is still swollen, but it will get better.