Author: Christopher-Dorset

Soon the French language with its infamously archaic orthography will, once again, be subjected to government interference. That is, certain words will have their official spellings changed and one of my favourite accent marks, the circumflex, will be removed. The main words that will be changed are:

– Oignon >> Ognon

– Week-end >> Weekend

– Nénuphar >> Nénufar

– Coût >> Cout

– Disparaître >> Disparaitre.

It is their language so I suppose they can do as they wish with it, but it seems slightly absurd. Then again, unlike English with its myriad forms that have been allowed to develop organically French has since the 18th century has been “maintained” by a group of Francophone scholars. Despite arguably being one of the four main global languages, along with English, Spanish and Portuguese French has remained heavily Paris-centred. There is a fair degree of regionalism in the language, of course, but the standards of French are broadly accepted in ways that no form of English or Spanish are. I will no more go along with the new spellings than I went along with the 1995 reforms of German orthography.

Yesterday I found an interesting variety of soap sourced from Pondicherry by a relatively local company. It was hand-made and designed for people with my skin type. After a quick sniff I concluded that, despite having a slightly herbal odour it would do and bought it. After opening the box I realised the gravity of my error. It was tightly wrapped. People could inhale the noxious fumes from 3 yards away! Not being one to waste, I’ve started using that soap to the most amusing reactions. It’s really a very good soap and even after a single use my skin looks healthier. The only problem with it is that I smell like an Indian Madame. I’ve changed my name to Miss Lakshmi and am now in purdah. Continue reading “Survival”

When I was young Germany was beautiful. It was pedantic, of course, but well-governed, clean and safe. Germans, despite their often unduly good reputation abroad, are not especially intelligent people. They merely found what they could do well and focus all their efforts on doing that. My grandfather received only a very basic education but made do. For over fifty years he worked as a mechanical engineer. My grandmother received a similarly basic education. As a woman of her generation, she faced restrictions on which careers she could pursue but she spent decades working as a designer and seamstress. My grandfather built several houses with no need to rely on anyone’s help. He came up with a concept and saw it through from early sketches to the last layer of paint. He could do this before the invention of calculators or engineering software. My grandmother could design, cut and sew dresses by hand without needing anyone’s advice or assistance. My mum is a theatre nurse. Then again, she sat her Abitur when it still meant something and read medicine.

Continue reading “Fear and Loathing in Europe”

To fund my interminable holidays I normally work at least two jobs. My secondary position, working as a professor’s assistant, is convenient and my pay is predictable. Despite its convenience, I do all work online and can thus work as effectively in Dorchester as I can in Sydney or even California where the job is actually based. However convenient it is it is Continue reading “Cretinism, Thy Name Is Academia.”

I’m in a bit of a spot. Last Friday I was asked to help design a new museum exhibit. It will have to be done quietly. The existing exhibit is extremely popular but it poses no shortage of challenges and problems. The concept is good. It is a recreated Pre-Contact village scene. However, it is an insect-infested curatorial nightmare. How can decades-old twigs, leaves and pine-needles be kept clean? Some parts of the display break all rules of contemporary artefact conservation such as 140-year-old baskets being allowed to collect dust in an unprotected area or animal hides being allowed to sit out and never be cleaned or maintained. Associated displays and information are hideously outdates. Grandparents remember using the displays that their young grand-children are now playing with when they were teenagers. Continue reading “I’m Chutney”

What a brilliant week. First, Hamburg and Kiel rejected the Olympics and now Denmark voted “no” on ending their opt-outs from EU home affairs bollocks. The Danish result — 53pc against, 47pc for — comes despite the best efforts of the very mediocre Lars Løkke to convince Danish voters to support the “correct” decision, to borrow EU terminology.

Continue reading “And Denmark votes “nej””

I came a cross a story that will surely warm CO’s heart and bring a broad smile across her face. The residents of Hamburg and Kiel have rejected the ghastly, 11-billion-euro white elepha Continue reading “And Hamburg Votes “Nein”.”

Recently nearly half of my recommended news articles on Facebook have concerned the Kardashians. Burma has its first election in decades and a new government is likely — ignored. But they have an article about a Kardashian wearing knickers! So many things are happening and I have to see an article link about a Kardashian’s dress or current gender preference of the day.

Oh well, did I tell you that I will go to Denmark and Sweden this winter?

Following complaints made to the IRB about the All Blacks being allowed to motivate themselves by performing the ‘Haka’ before their games, other nations were asked to suggest pre-match rituals of their own.
The IRB Committee has now agreed to the following pre-match displays:

Continue reading “Ruggers”

I crossed the Pacific yet again. It was a last-minute purchase, Shanghai-Seoul-San Francisco on Asiana Airlines. It isn’t the worst airline I suppose. The last days in China left me deflated and exhausted – with a slight chuckle at an especially brutal attack by the gods of irony.

Continue reading “Transitions”