Enough is enough

Dear Bearsy,

I realise that you Aussies want your revenge on the UK for sending all those convicts there. But last night on the leaders’ non-debate, I discovered your follow-up to Patsy Hewitt.  As soon as I heard the voice of Natalie Bennet, I rushed into the kitchen to wash dishes.  Please stop sending these women to us. Haven’t we suffered enough? And most of the convicts made good, but the same can’t be said for Hewitt or Greer or Bennet.

Yours tearfully,


12 thoughts on “Enough is enough”

  1. I’m convinced that this is Australia’s revenge for rabbits. Unlike convicts, rabbits haven’t quite made good there and all efforts to eradicate them — or at least keep them in check — have been futile. Judging by last week’s NSW election, Australia is suffering from its own bout of Greenitis.

  2. G’day Sheona –

    I do realise that England is feeling pretty sore about their ignominious early return from the ICC ODI World Cup (which we won, of course) and is sulking mightily as a result – though Scotland and Ireland both performed rather well – but you must take it in your stride. Stiff upper lip, and all that.

    I’d never heard of Natalie Bennet until I looked her up on Wiki, and I’ve still no idea who Patsy Hewitt is. Everyone knows Germaine – she’s admired and hated in equal measure all over the English-speaking world – but I had not appreciated that Australia cares sufficiently about your minor little country to bother about shipping our oddballs in your direction. In case you’d forgotten, we are those convicts of whom you speak, and we’re damned proud of them, too.

    Clive James, Rolf Harris, Olivia Neutron Bomb and at least half of most of your County Cricket teams are also Australian. I don’t hear any moans about that.

    On t’other hand, you’ve sent us some right nasties from time-to-time and you’ve illegally kept one of our best investigative journalists in the lock-up for years because of the baseless EAW issued by the Swedish servants of the political thugs of America – poor old Julian.

    Incidentally, à propos of nothing in particular – did you know that Ben Elton and Miriam Margolyes are both Aussies now?

    Sit down in a comfy chair, have a wee dram, put your feet up and chill out. It’ll all look better in the morning.


  3. Bearsy, you are more than welcome to Ben Elton and Miriam Margolyes. That evens up the score a bit!

  4. Do Google Patricia Hewitt, the paedophile’s friend, Bearsy. You may remember we had a discussion about her and her disastrous Modernising Medical Careers scheme some years ago. At some point during that she went back to Australia to look after her old mum and I begged you to keep her there.

  5. Not only did we send them rabbits but prickly pear cactus!!!!
    A Victorian clergyman’s wife’s pot plant…………………….
    Oh dear……………………

    Now then, remind me how many thousand square miles does it occupy??

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