Sausage Dog

Dasher Daschshund grew quite barmy,
he fell in love with a salami.
He knew that wondrous, fickle fate
Had brought his aromatic mate.

But months of unrequited lust,
turned little Dasher’s heart to dust.
He found he couldn’t go on living,
a life so harsh and unforgiving …

and with a whine of deep despair,
he turned his toes into the air.
(Luckily, his doggy basket
doubled as a funeral casket).

Awash with grief his owner cried,
Mein liebling hund has sadly died!
I’ll never own a pet agin,
but aus den augen aus dem sinn.

The owner liked his new-found pet,
Who didn’t eat, or need a vet,
and found a sausage quite the thing
to take for walkies on a string.

46 thoughts on “Sausage Dog”

  1. Yes, I know, Gaz, but he’s up there somewhere in the clouds, chasing dodgy, sorry doggy salami.
    Dry your tears.

  2. Hmm, well, Bilby, I did find you a perfectly acceptable phrase in Serbo-croat which rhymed just as well, and then everyone would have understood exactly what you meant. πŸ˜‰

  3. Now I really must but in here guys. I was really impressed with Janus’s Weinerschnitzel as a great pun on Weinen (cry) as we had been discussing tears etc.
    Now you tell me it was a misinterpretation! A mistake! Janus, please tell me that Weinerschnitzel was deliberate…. πŸ™‚

  4. Gaz, not only was it deliberate but I secretly expected the Pedant Police to ‘correct’ it! Sometimes they display embarrassing ignorance! So please would the mgt. re-correct the non-error. Danke sehr.

  5. Morning all, while we’re at it, does ‘but in’ have one or two t’s?

    Just asking πŸ™‚

  6. Morning Gaz

    Ara tells us it’s been 7 years! just for your info, a decision was obviously made all those years ago to never (or perhaps rarely) criticize the many mistakes that I made by the then members. I remember the one London based member with a love of cats ‘going off’ at me the once and he got a severe roasting, I’ve sort of enjoyed (and still do enjoy) a pedant’s holiday so to speak.

    It’s a privilege which I respect and appreciate greatly, I’d like to think that I’ve improved over the years even if I do still get the odd apostrophe wrong and other silly mistakes.

    I do enjoy people correcting my contributions, (how else would I improve?) but there is of course a ‘nice’ way and a ‘not so nice’ way to do it.

    Anyhow, having said all of that I’d like to think that I contribute in areas other than spelling, syntax and grammar!


  7. My apologies, Janus. I have re-corrected your comment and mine. Obviously, the joke went right over my head. Perhaps I should have stuck to Serbo croat! πŸ˜‰

  8. I used to have a hairdresser named Godfrey Cutts. Herr Cutts , this is not a joke…well it is….but it is still true. πŸ™‚

  9. I believe your hope will be unfulfilled, Gaz, See you next month! (oops, ‘this month’)

    I’m quite sure that both your dogs have impeccable pedigrees, Janus.

    πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

  10. What is it with you, Bilby? You go quiet for days, weeks if not months at a time and then come up with a little gem like that.

    Which reminds me – Two very old jokes from Form V.

    “I must confess, Father. I have sinned. I am sunk in the depths of depravity, to whit bestiality.”

    “God will forgive you, my son, when you confess your sins, but consider this, how low can you sink?”

    “Well, so far, about a dachshund.”

    And later,

    “Father, I need your advice. I am now sunk in the deeper depths of depravity, namely sadism, necrophilia and bestiality. My question is, Am I just flogging a dead horse?”

    Coat! Taxi!


  11. I didn’t think anyone had noticed, OZ, but let’s just say I’m a slow writer. Anyway, thank you. πŸ™‚

    As for the jokes, you are a very bad wolf, but I like you …

  12. Oh!

    (I can only see a little square at the end of your comment, Janus. What does it mean, pray tell?)

  13. Thank you, Janus, and a reliable smiley thing for you. πŸ™‚

    There are similar things in the Other Place, so perhaps my browser doesn’t see them as they should be, or something …

  14. May I draw my cherished colleagues Janus and Gazoopi to one of the best comedy lines ever to escape the watershed


  15. OZ: A German friend of mine Dr. George Sick is a private pilot. Whenever he requests a landing he says, in English of course.
    ” Request first available runway, pilot is Sick”. It often works.

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