Underrated: Eamonn Holmes


Carol Vorderman effortlessly crunches the numbers, Noel Edmonds flawlessly points out the probabilities and Lucy Verasamy is the fount (font?) of knowledge about clouds. These three individuals are masters of their art. Which brings us to the consummate professional- Eamonn Holmes. Never in the field of TV presenting has a man been so natural on the screen. A veteran of many shows he currently presents Sky News Sunrise.

Eamonn has had his share of criticism but I come here to praise him, not to bury him. For starters he has an uncanny ability to memorise his lines. The headlines are all written on paper at his desk yet he looks at the screen and word for word reads the written page without once glancing down at the A4.

Contrast Eamonn’s calm demeanour with that of the manic Richard Madeley of This Morning fame. Madeley is forever panicking about time limits and he rushes guests during their slots while quickening his voice to make sure he gets to the break on time. It’s a race with the devil where Madeley is concerned. Poise personified, the ballerina Eamonn seamlessly segues from topic to topic and cuts to the commercial break right on the button. Elementary, my dear Madeley.

Then there’s the different cameras. Too many less experienced figures in TV world are caught facing the wrong way. They’re looking at camera 3 when it’s obvious they should be staring at camera 4. Not our Eamonn. He shifts his gaze from camera to camera with a supermodel’s precision. It’s almost as if someone is talking in his ear.

A huge Manchester United fan it is to Eamonn’s credit that he rarely, if ever, broadcasts his love for the reds. That plum tart, Julia Roberts, with her love of all things Crystal Palace should take note. Personal favourites should be kept private in all walks of life and cyberspace. And I know what you’re thinking, people in glass houses etc.

Another of Eamonn’s qualities is his chameleon-like ability to change shape. That fluctuating weight of his can transform him into any role that Universal or 20th Century Fox see fit to shoehorn him into should they wish to transfer his ego to the big screen. He could be a double for Moby Dick one day and then play the lead of the suave James Bond the next. Brando couldn’t have done this. Jeremy Clarkson is just fat.

Well played, Eamonn. You remain the guardian in the TV galaxy


14 thoughts on “Underrated: Eamonn Holmes”

  1. Sipu’s kissed Goldie Hawn and Backside has bumped Rear of the Year. I can’t compete with that. The best celebrity experience I’ve had is probably being in the same Primark shop with Susan Boyle before she became famous.

  2. “A huge Manchester United fan it is to Eamonn’s credit that he rarely, if ever, broadcasts his love for the reds.”

    Oh, do me a favour! Eamonn, not being from Manchester, is a typical fan of the scum and never misses an opportunity to broadcast the fact, hence the welcome hoofing he received this week from his sports colleagues when MK Dons delivered their timely wake up call. If there is a God, dear Eamonn will not be red but black and blue by the end of the season and will spend the next decade quietly in the wilderness, like his team, but I see, sadly, that Shrek is likely to be named the next England captain to replace St. Stevie G. Gawd ‘elp us and when does the rugby season start? I hope Roy Hodgson can accept the wealthy agent of some gobby illiterate telling him how to do his job, as David Moyes found out to his cost.

    And getting back to the blessed Eamonn, just how do you spell ‘now’ and similar alliterative words in a Belfast accent? ‘Noigh’? ‘^Noyah’? ‘Neigh’?

    FrizzEase, please.


  3. It’s confirmed. Wayne Rooney is the new captain of England FC. I can’t believe I’ve just written that, so let me just repeat it. Wayne Rooney is the captain of Ing-er-lund accompanied by Mrs. Coleen with their spawn Kai and Klay. Roy and Louis need to keep the button on their back pockets, because Wayne’s agents will be calling very soon.

    But d’ya know, I really don’t care any more!


  4. What you lads need are more Scottish football managers for English teams like Alex Ferguson and Bill Shankly.

  5. Not to mention a certain K. Dalglish, who was a bit good as a player and as a manager and a true Gent. And don’t worry about independence – we’ve already had Sven the Scandinavian pork swordsman and the Italian speccy one who’s now managing Russia.


Add your Comment

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s