Home > Bad Poetry > A poem for Mr Mackie!

A poem for Mr Mackie!

This is a favourite theme of mine, as you may have gathered

The loneliness of the solo piper.

Oh, the bagpipes howl and the bagpipes scream
When they are massed together, they really take the cream
The sound of a band of pipe and drums
Gets the listener going and he hums

But when a piper is caught alone
The noise turns one’s heart to stone
Never was such cacophony
As makes one beg hard for mercy

So, let it always be said
Pipes and drums go to your head.
But if a feral piper alone is found
Stamp him hard into the ground!

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Categories: Bad Poetry
  1. August 3, 2014 at 9:19 pm

    I’m with you on this one all the way, FEEG.
    And I write this with pipers playing on the TV as I type. It seems there was some sort of games round this neck of the woods which are coming to a conclusion. Nobody told me anything.

  2. August 3, 2014 at 9:51 pm

    Hi FEEG

    I’ve told you before. Must I say it once more?
    The pipes have their place when you’re marching to war.
    There’s only one rule, known to every fule,
    To play them indoors is really uncool.

    And there are really no hypes, however one snipes
    To say there’s a thrill when you follow the pipes.
    T’was so in the past, whether solo or massed,
    And here once again is the proof unsurpassed

    Haw, JW. Personally, I thought Weegie City did no too bad at all considering.

  3. August 3, 2014 at 10:04 pm

    Evening JM,

    I jest, of course. I have enjoyed watching the games on the box. Too busy working to see the events live. My son watched the cycling this afternoon (drenched drookit, he was) and was amazed at the speed of the riders. For me, Bolt was entertaining and I liked the badminton/squash matches. As school tennis champion I have a soft spot for racquet sports.

    And don’t tell FEEG but I watched a bit of some of the early rugby 7’s games. Chiefly because they were held at you know where. The matches I saw were quite one-sided and there was a lot of goals scored.

  4. O Zangado
    August 3, 2014 at 10:24 pm

    Scottish lad gets a job in London – the first time he has ever been beyond the Highlands. After a month his mother phones. ”So how are you doing, Hamish?”. ”Aye, just fine, mother, but these Londoners are a rum lot. The neighbour on one side screams all night and the other one keeps banging his head against the wall.” ”Aye well, you keep yourself to yourself, Hamish.” ”I do that, mother. I just stay in and practice the pipes.”

    OZ

  5. August 3, 2014 at 10:38 pm

    Evening to you JW.

    This upcoming Tuesday night live TV? The choice is watching Darling gubbing Salmond or Rangers gubbing the Hibs.

    It’s a worry as I will enjoy them both immensely. Decisions, decisions.

  6. August 3, 2014 at 11:24 pm

    I’m with you on those two outcomes all the way, JM.

    OZ

    This Scottish lass, Grace MacDonald, is playing Scotland the Brave on the bagpipes. Grace’s mum is delighted with her daughter’s rendition.
    “That’s amazing, Grace.”
    To which Grace replies.
    “Dinnae be daft, mum. It’s Scotland the Brave.”

    You know it’s difficult making your own jokes up. Coat, hat, umbrella, bagpipes, taxi.

  7. August 4, 2014 at 7:14 am

    🙂

  8. August 4, 2014 at 8:31 am

    JM, I trust your 9.51 pm pome is an entry for PG’s comp?

  9. Bilby
    August 4, 2014 at 10:49 pm

    Made me smile, FEEG. Not that I agree, mind; I just love lone pipers.

  10. christinaosborne
    August 7, 2014 at 5:37 pm

    God how I HATE bagpipes. Especially being mutilated at police funerals in the USA. Just like killing cats!

    The only time I ever enjoyed them being played was a lone piper standing on a promontory at Loch Ness playing pibroch (spelling?) to himself, absolutely wonderful. I sat and listened out of sight for a long long time.

  11. August 7, 2014 at 6:30 pm

    Hi CO.

    Please feel free to ‘HATE’ away. You are, in this case, wrong. They clearly matter to the families and colleagues concerned.

  12. sheona
    August 7, 2014 at 10:08 pm

    Spelling of pibroch absolutely correct, Christina.

  13. August 7, 2014 at 10:17 pm

    Sheona

    May you be forgiven. That’s the Anglic rendition.

    It is, of course, ”piobaireachd’ in God’s own Gaelic tongue,

  14. christinaosborne
    August 7, 2014 at 11:15 pm

    Well you must admit the playing on that recording is pretty grim. I don’t think they know any better here. If they played the instruments a little better it wouldn’t be quite so grotesque.

  15. August 7, 2014 at 11:57 pm

    See you CO?

    I reckon the problem here is that you are not really Welsh at all and that you are trying to impose your alien English heptatonic values on us oppressed Celts and on our pentatonic heritage, particularly when it comes to our bagpipes which are. as we all know, nearer to the Mixolydian mode than to anything else in the Western system and almost the same as the Zalzalscale of mediaeval Arabic music, although this is probably coincidental.

    http://www.campin.me.uk/Music/Modes/Modes-bagpipes.abc

  16. Four-eyed English Genius
    August 8, 2014 at 10:57 am

    Mr Mackie: That does not alter the fact that a bagpipe solo sounds terrible and a massed pipe and drum band does not! 🙂

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