What Do You Mean ‘We’?

You’ll know the joke  for which my title is the punchline. The Lone Ranger, surrounded by hordes of hostile Red Indians, turns to his trusty Native American companion and says -‘Looks like we’re in trouble, Tonto.’

I will not play the Tonto card tonight.

I admit to hating the English Rugby team with a passion (although I am happy if they beat France, Oz, NZ or the Pumas). I blame Will Carling and Sir Clive Woodward for that  particular hatred.

Football is more tricky. At the age of 16, I drank a couple of under age pints in the County Hotel, Perth whilst cheering on England as they beat West Germany to win a World Cup.  I still mostly support the Southrons against all but other British teams.

Cricket is different. I am an unconditional England fan as was my father before me. I’ve told this one before but when I was about six years old, my father suddenly bundled us into the car and drove us 70 miles to Kelso where he spent the whole afternoon watching Jim Laker and others bowling out the Aussies on Uncle Frank’s new TV. The women adjourned  for afternoon tea but I got to lie on the carpet in front of  said TV with Rinty the Labrador and, like him, completely fail to grasp what was going on.  I’ve been hooked ever since.

Fast forward to the 1960’s. ‘We’ are getting gubbed by the Aussies. Dad is driving the Singer Gazelle TBM 660 on a family holiday  up the gentle inclines and down the slight declines of the relatively not-flat plains of Wales. Despite the lack of any hills worth mentioning, the signal keeps fading and Dad keeps incandescing. We stop in a small town where the signal is acceptable. Mum and Big Sis go for afternoon tea yet again and Dad and I listen to England collapsing. So, been there and done that.

Ashes-wise, it’s been good for a few series but it seems that the tide has turned and that  I’m back in the Welsh flatlands. No problem. Australia were the better team  at the Gabba and are the better team at Adelaide. Good luck to them. Pup and his boys definitely deserve major credit.

But tonight I will be watching Sky and listening to TMS in the hope that ‘we’ can somehow grind out a draw over the next two  days to keep the series alive until after Christmas.

Not that I’m hopeful and I probably won’t enjoy it. But I can’t miss it.

C’mon England.

19 thoughts on “What Do You Mean ‘We’?”

  1. Morning JM

    It’s 2am here, I’ve risen to see what develops, a surprising declaration, the Aussies fear a bit of bad weather, pity, I was hoping to see Warner make a dash for his ton.

    Cook gone already! what on earth was he thinking?

  2. Hi Soutie.

    It’s 2.30 am here and lunchtime and we’re still standing. Just.

    I can see what Cook was trying to do. ‘We’ have to try to blunt MJ somehow. It was a good catch and the Carberry one was even better.

    I hope you have a memorable day at the Nelson Mandela Bay Stadium tomorrow. You should beat Portugal to start with and you have a great chance to win it. all.

    I could not record the tribute from all the teams and officials at 3pm today because it was on the red button by then but it must surely have been a bit special to have been there.

  3. I’m reminded of another joke that my father used to tell many years ago …

    Man walks into bank to seek a loan

    Teller: You’ll have to speak to Tonto
    Man: Tonto, why Tonto?
    Teller: Because the Loan Arranger isn’t in!

  4. JM, sporting schizophrenia is a common complaint in the Janus household. Unfortunately I am restricted to watching football on t’telly but regularly find myself torn between Scandinavian and British sides. Since I prefer to shout for the winner, the choice is easy whenever England are playing.

  5. I cannot understand your hatred of the English Rugby team. It must be because they sometimes win a game, unlike a certain team from a bit further north 🙂

    I used to follow cricket, but it is hardly worth it now.

  6. Not a clue, Janus. I’m an Aussie, remember. 😉
    But at a guess it could mean that he was the 630th fellow to be admitted to the England test team.
    No idea about the 75 – perhaps it’s his sock size? 😀

  7. Correct on the 630.

    I initially thought that this could be the 75th ashes series but don’t think so, is he perhaps the 75th captain?

  8. Sipu :

    Hate, is such an unpleasant word.

    Good evening, Sipu.

    A fair cop, Hate is admittedly way over the top. I’ve Rogeted and most of the suggested synonyms are de trop as well. –

    ‘abhor, abominate, allergic to, anathematize, be disgusted with, be hostile to, be loath, be reluctant, be repelled by, be sick of, be sorry, bear a grudge against, can’t stand, contemn, curse, deprecate, deride, despise, detest, disapprove, disdain, disfavor, disparage, down on, execrate, feel malice to, have an aversion to, have enough of, have no use for, loathe, look down on, nauseate, not care for, object to, recoil from, scorn, shudder at, shun, spit upon, spurn.’

    So, my apologies, I should have typed ‘dislike’, It’s a slow-burning Carling, Woodward, Ashton, ‘Sweet Chariot’-usurping, Hartley, Johnson sort of thing. But it is there,

  9. Soutie :

    Wiki tells me that he’s the 79th captain


    Hi Soutie,

    Well if it is a ’75’ on his cap the explanation is obvious. They are clearly excluding the four South Africans who have captained England.

    Mind, my failure to have my spectacles checked this year makes it it look like a ’76’ to my tired and aged eyes. If true, it must be the three Jock captains who are being discounted.

    Douglas Jardine rules.

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