Bleeding Hearts and buboes

First, let me make it clear that I’m not one of the first. I am well aware that my breakfast soft boiled would have grown into a cute little chick and that my sunday roast  chook was once precisely that. I know full well that the clinically presented prepackaged chops in my supermarket was once a woolly little baa lamb cavorting in a sunny spring meadow, and I’m quite happy to eat fishey wisheys with their eyes and heads on. I don’t have a problem with shooting, fishing, gutting or filleting, it’s a fact of life whether I’m doing it or somebody else is doing it to save me the trouble.

Now (as I imagine they say in the film industry) Cut to……


The Hollywood version of an English Baronial manor. The year 1348. His baronial highness is seated on a highly ornate and gilded throne while scores of scantily clad females dance in the great hall before him.  Jugglers and fire eaters  bring  up the rear. Enter stage left,  a peasant who is gasping for breath and has obviously been running . He  throws himself to the floor at the bottom of the staircase leading up to the throne

Peasant        “My lord, there is a case of buboes in the village”

His baronialness takes a long look into the middle distance while scratching his chin.

HB                  “Hie ye forth and find Sir Swarseneggar. Tell him to go to the village and kill two thirds of the population with his semi-automatic crossbow”

Peasant           “Aye my lord. Shall he destroy all the ones with the buboes?”

HB                    “It matters not. Any two thirds will do”

Fade out.

I’m not sure it would have prevented the death of millions during the plague and I’m not sure it’ll have any effect on the spread of bovine TB in the UK either.

16 thoughts on “Bleeding Hearts and buboes”

  1. Your amusing post reminds me of the occasion when a class of eleven year olds, just starting French and covering the different types of pets they had, asked me if I liked rabbits. Oh yes, I said. I have a lovely Italian recipe for rabbit – coniglio con funghi e pancetta. Great dismay – but they had to find out at some point that the French and others consider rabbit as a food rather than as a fluffy pet.

  2. TB, of course it won’t!
    DEFRA are completely out to lunch on a permanent basis.
    The only thing that would work is to inoculate both the cows and the badgers, That would eradicate the whole thing.
    Unfortunately for some peculiar reason DEFRA will not allow the inoculation of cattle, several other countries do.
    They could easily have put out licks for the badgers that would have done the trick.
    I expect they would rather kill them being quintessentially British!

    I swear that DEFRA is intent on destroying our countryside. They KNEW that imported tree stock from the EU were diseased and yet did absolutely nothing about it. Now it is too late and we are about to lose our ash trees too.

    Interesting that cows with TB are slaughtered instantly but wog immigrants are allowed in with gay abandon riddled with TB!!! When the boy had secondary lung cancer and was in a dedicated pulmonary unit in Brum, his was the only white face in the ward and the stench of unwashed bodies, coughing, choking and expectorating was quite disgusting, all of them without exception had TB! Needless to say, got him out of there ASAP.. (Interestingly they all lay there with their headdresses intact in their beds) Would never have allowed him in there in the first place had he not already been under sentence of death.

    Pleas God one day the revolution will come!

  3. Christina: Inoculating the badgers only has an effect if they are not already infected. Al large proportion of them already are.

  4. Surely if a large proportion of any wildlife population is diseased it makes sense to cull the lot, clear the area and reintroduce them at a later date, we’re not talking Giant Pandas here, there’s no shortage of them is there?

  5. Sheona,
    Is it me or are kids getting more “pickey” by the day? I’m part of that generation born at the end of WW2 (in nineteen forty mumble mumble if you must know) when you just ate what was put in front of you. I have grandkids now who don’t eat tomatoes ( ‘cos I don’t like the pips) anything green (‘cos I don’t like the colour) but who will happily consume any amount of processed crap from brightly coloured packaging without question.

  6. LW
    The comments are hilarious. I reckon the “pets” under discussion have greater intelligence than most of the readers!

  7. Mrs O,
    I don’t get it. How do you persuade anyone with half a brain that shooting, at random, two thirds of a community infected with a highly contagious disease and then leaving the remainder free to travel the land without restriction is the only way to go.

  8. Soutie,
    Trouble is tb has infected the badger population across the whole country. Mrs O is right I think, the only way out is vaccination

  9. Thanks for that link, LW. Very entertaining.

    jhl, thankfully my two granddaughters are good at eating almost everything, but they’re very young. Last Sunday I was feeding the one-year old lunch and, not paying attention, gave her a spoonful of home-made butternut squash dip – quite spicy – which she ate happily. I think as they get older, children start getting more fussy.

  10. Janus
    Not sure that you are correct about plague in East African jails. We need to do some more research. Please arrange to have some samples collected and delivered to me at :-

    N.E Emmpee
    House of Commons

    Please ensure samples are sealed with labels carrying the following message
    “Warning Do not open.
    Contents may provide vastly improved expenses, inflation busting pension rises and all for less working hours”
    Should be safe for years shouldn’t we?

    Me? I’ve booked me flight!

  11. I don’t ‘do’ picky children.
    They sit at the table until most of whatever it is is eaten.
    It once took three days for a piece of liver to be consumed, it reappeared at every mealtime until it was gone.

    I conned the boy into eating olives as sweeties when he was one or so. He kept on using them as such till the day he died. always had a handful after a meal, ooops!
    He had hot curries and chilli from one or so, no problem. Why are people so bloody wussy with their kids?
    If they don’t eat what is supplied for that meal, they just go hungry, guaranteed to eat the next.
    Now for my badger curry…..

  12. Oh you should have seen me torturing Anne’s kids in Wales this summer! Splendid stuff, she is still threatening them with me as the chief bogeylady! Of course she actually wanted them intimidated, they were getting completely out of hand, When a 4 year old starts to hammer off the plaster of the dining room walls it is seriously time to take the gloves off!
    I also threw out a nosy neighbour and told her not to come back!
    Anne is still laughing about it , unfortunately she has no one to look after her or her interests, tough with three children and no husband.who ran off with the hired help and then abandoned her too!
    What a mess some people make of their lives. i have inherited the responsibility, I feel so guilty the boy never married her, he ought to have done and none of it would have gone quite so wrong. But you can’t make them marry can you?

  13. CO, my Dad advised me at an early age that I shouldn’t expect my older sister to have boy-friends that I would approve of. Such wisdom.

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