A gentle kick up the , erm, fundament…

…delivered by JM Esq in another place prompts me to explain why i have been AOL for a while.

Things have not been all sweetness and light of the last few months chez Bravo. My son’s engagement went South, triggering a relapse in his condition, which has not been fun. You probably all recall that I was quite optimistic about his development last time, but this latest setback has been quite grim. The boy was actually led to the point of contemplating suicide at one point – going so far as to climb the stairs to the top of the building where he, (thankfully, still,) works here in London and looking over the edge…

I am grateful that, through it all, we have still managed to keep talking, even about that incident, but it has not been easy. The need to concentrate on providing the support the boy needs has, erm, how should I put this… rather upset my own plans, so I am still here in London rather than Jakarta or Cape Town, both places where I have had offers of contracts, or in Cyprus working on my book project and playing with my grandchildren.

I hope that does not sound grudging – it is meant to be merely descriptive as I have no hesitation at all in making whatever effort is needed to give the boy the support he needs But it’s hard. The problem is twofold. First, it is impossible to understand what he is going through. I have read as much as I can, and talked to as many people as I can, but, I think, it remains impossible to fully understand, and therefore empathise with, what he is suffering – I’m sure we have all been ‘depressed,’ at times, but clinical depression is another thing entirely. The second problem derives from that lack of understanding, because one is permanently walking on eggshells; what to say, what to do, what advice to give, when to stroke and when, if ever, to kick Rse a little bit.

Anyway, enough of my problems. The bottom line is that I have not felt myself to be fit for civilised company over the last months – I don’t count the pages of the DT blogs, where JM administered the afore-mentioned gentle encouragement – as civilised, but a place where I could vent a little on the AGW whackos who attempt to shut down dissent from their ridiculous religion there.

The good news – apart from England retaining the Calcutta Cup yesterday, having handed a right shellacking to the All Blacks in the Autumn – is that we seem to be making our way, if slowly, out of the slough of despond. We have engineered a complete image makeover for the boy, haircut, lose the beard, new wardrobe, and the fortuitous arrival of his childhood best friend from Hong Kong and a conscious determination on the boy’s part to escape his prison seem to be pointing to a new strength. He’s going out more often, making new friends and generally beginning to behave like a ‘normal’ 30 year-old in London with all its opportunities and challenges, for which I am truly grateful.

So, there it is. I’m going to be here in London for at least the next twelve months – I’m in the process of negotiating a contract here, admittedly below the level i would usually consider, but I need the distraction πŸ™‚ Anhyhoo, Bravo’s back…

9 thoughts on “A gentle kick up the , erm, fundament…”

  1. So sad to hear of your son’s difficulties. I am sure you are doing the right thing, by being there and trying to understand as best you can. Parents can only help so far, however much we’d like to make everything better, just as we did when they were small. I’m sure the old friend will make a huge difference too.

    I hope we’ll see a little more of you now

  2. Hi Bravo, I truly sympathise with your situation. My 31-year-old nephew and godson committed suicide in September. He had been sad for many years and had caused his parents and family endless anxiety. His death coincided with a discussion I had been having with a friend of mine who lives in California. He is CFO of a company that is developing a database of symptoms and treatments that will better enable mental health specialists deal with their patients. Rather than explain it to you let me point you to their site.

    Watch this video. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uR7tpFJwZD4&feature=youtu.be&hd=1

    The company is cnsresponse.com.

    Best wishes to you and your son and I am sorry that you wont be coming to Cape Town any time soon. I myself am heading back to live in Zimbabwe. There will be business for you there too one day, I should imagine.

  3. Oops! Sorry, Bravo, I was composing my silly Sunday morning post while you posted this. No disrespect intended and I will bin it immediately if the tone causes offence in the light of your serious message.

    Best wishes to you and your son and welcome back.


  4. Thanks all – and thanks for the pointer, Sipu, I will give that a good look – anything that helps understanding is a blessing.

    No worries, Oz – life goes on, but thanks for the sentiment πŸ™‚

  5. Sorry to hear of your son’s predicament and yours too. I hope things go better for you all in the future.

  6. I’m sorry to hear about your son’s illness, Bravo, but it seems he may be finding his way out of the darkness of clinical depression. Best wishes for you both.

  7. This world is so hideously ironic, there are those that want to leave but don’t seem able to and those that desperately want to stay here and are denied the chance!
    One can only believe that the God’s are busy on Alpha Centaurai!
    Hope you both work it out, he is lucky to have you.
    if he is on medication half of that stuff has some very nasty side effects re self immolation, you may well need to investigate, so many do more harm than good. Most of the doctors have no idea of what they are handing out in the UK, pharmacology is not taught in medical school there believe it or not!!!

    Have you thought of a change of scene for both of you? West London is about as bloody dreary and depressing as you can get. No point in hanging onto a job if it is going to cost you the ultimate.

  8. Hi Bravo.

    Sorry to hear about your son. Clinical depression such a difficult problem to deal with, but I hope the improvement continues.

    Good to see you.

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