They’ve started, (handy link to the official schedule here) there can only be one winner, so, what are you going to say if your team isn’t victorious?

Don’t worry, Alex Bowden over on ESPN’s Crickinfo has a list of ready made excuses for us.

Here they are…

They just weren’t tough enough. It’s not like the old days. This team just isn’t hard-nosed, aggressive or Australian enough. They don’t need to be any more talented. They just need to be angrier. Bring back Lillee and Thommo.

It was almost certainly the IPL. Not enough players are appearing in it and too many players want to appear in it. Secondly, they were over-confident because they were the reigning champions, but simultaneously lacked confidence following a summer of major setbacks. It might also have been something to do with playing spin and Sri Lankan weather and conditions. Also, Craig Kieswetter. Bring back KP.

It was almost certainly the IPL. Since its arrival, the players have grown spoilt and lazy. There are too many foreigners carrying out key roles in IPL matches, but there are also too many mediocre Indian players making life easy for the better players. The overall standard of the tournament is low, but it is also so intense that no one has any energy left, even though it finished months ago. Other than that, India’s fielding was bad. Oh, and Sachin Tendulkar wasn’t playing. Bring back Sachin.

New Zealand
Some say that being a team that is more than the sum of its parts is a good thing when you’re playing a team sport, but those people are flat-out wrong. New Zealand lost because they lacked individual brilliance. The players who appeared to deliver exceptional individual performances were actually just contributing to the team being more than the sum of its parts. As has previously been established, this is not the way to win games of cricket. Bring back Chris Harris.

If only they could be more consistent. They’re so mercurial. If it had been their day, they would have won. But it wasn’t their day. It was the opposition’s day. Unfortunately there’s nothing that could have been done about it. The team has no control over whose day it is. Bring back whoever wasn’t playing today.

South Africa
They choked. A narrow defeat? A choke. A massive thrashing? Again, clearly a choke. Any kind of defeat whatsoever, against any opposition, at any stage of the competition – choke.

Sri Lanka
They still haven’t managed to replace Murali. They also missed Sanath Jayasuriya. And some other middle-aged men who have retired from cricket and therefore aren’t in any way relevant.

West Indies
It was due to a combination of greed, lack of professionalism, sponsorship rows, the West Indies Cricket Board, the West Indies Players Association, Chris Gayle, rivalry between islands, lack of respect for the past, and basketball. Also Darren Sammy.

Finally, in the event that your team records an upset…

You can be sure that they’ll track down some of the black stuff tonight and they’ll be enjoying the craic until the early hours. They probably did the same last night. That’s how they won. That combined with the luck of the Irish and absolutely nothing to do with hard work and dedication.

πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

Hee hee, thought it too good not to share (original article here)


12 thoughts on “ICC T20”

  1. It should be noted that England have won their two warm up matches against the Aussies and Pakistan. I hope they are not peaking too early! 😦

  2. Morning all

    KP or no KP, that is the question, I see that he’s out of the India tour, no contract so I suppose it’ll be the highest bidder for him in the future, pity, he is undoubtedly one of the finest cricketers of the modern era to watch.

    Are England peaking too early you ask, hope so πŸ˜‰

    Zim, seems unfair to play their 2 group games in the short space of 3 days, if they lose to us they’ll be on their way home, surly the shortest World Cup foray of any sport? What price? Would that be in US or Zim dollars πŸ™‚

  3. Didn’t the Afghans do well?

    We have a rugby team down hear called African Bombers, it didn’t take long for the chaps in our pub to start referring to the Afghans as The Afghan Bombers ! πŸ™‚

  4. MΓ΄re Janus

    Ah yes, The Afghans, reportedly with (more than (?)) a couple of displaced Pakkis in the side, check the spread betting for no balls in the first powerplay πŸ™‚

  5. Hi Soutie, as long as England is still in contention, so is Zimbabwe, courtesy of Andy Flower. As for the price they must pay for the tournament and their early return, Zimbabwe abandoned the Zim $ 3 or 4 years ago when the so called Government of National Unity came into play. The country now uses the US$. Put your ATM card into the wall and it will spit out greenbacks. Well, that is the theory, though sometimes they run out of notes.

  6. It’s only a bloody game when you think about it.

    But, a couple of days ago, the BBC commentators were getting quite flippant about the fact that Afghanistan were going to get bowled out for the lowest score in T20 final history by scoring under 67.

    ‘We’ are safe now but ‘we’ were 60 for 9. Too much time playing on X-boxes and not enough time understanding that you need to be totally and unremittingly focused in professional sport.

    In my opinion.

  7. Morning JM, didn’t see the game, what was it in the end? 80? (Can’t help but think that there is something missing from this current England squad this year ;))

    I was invited to a Liverpool ‘do’ yesterday, there’s a large premier league following down here and some of our circle are large Liverpool fans, watched the pre-match interviews and build up, the handshakes (including the important one, good for them), the balloons and of course the whole ‘justice’ ‘truth’ display. I’m a bit of a closet MU supporter myself (after meeting the ’99 treble winners back in 2000) so was quietly pleased with the result.

  8. Soutie, g’morgen. Aggers has come up with the startling revelation that England need to learn how to play spin against India. Does he get paid for that?

  9. MΓ΄re Janus, you know my feelings on players commentating and giving ‘expert’ opinions, you made me laugh this morning, thank you πŸ™‚

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