The House that Jack Built

This is the house that Jack built

 

This is the loft

At the top of the house that Jack built

 

This is the weed

That was stashed in the loft

At the top of the house that Jack built

 

This is the man

Who grew the weed

That was stashed in the loft

At the top of the house that Jack built

 

This is the boy

Who sold for the man

Who grew the weed

That was stashed in the loft

At the top of the house that Jack built

 

This the girl with the beautiful face

Who bought from the boy

Who sold for the man

Who grew the weed

That was stashed in the loft

At the top of the house that Jack built

 

This is the cop who opened a case

Against the girl with the beautiful face

Who bought from the boy

Who sold for the man

Who grew the weed

That was stashed in the loft

At the top of the house that Jack built

 

This is the witness of minority race

Who had grassed to the cop who opened the case

Against the girl with the beautiful face

Who bought from the boy

Who sold for the man

Who grew the weed

That was stashed in the loft

At the top of the house that Jack built

 

This is the skinhead armed with mace

Who threatened the witness of minority race

Who had grassed to the cop who opened the case

Against the girl with the beautiful face

Who bought from the boy

Who sold for the man

Who grew the weed

That was stashed in the loft

At the top of the house that Jack built

 

This is the judge in robes and lace

Who sentenced the skinhead armed with mace

Who threatened the witness of minority race

Who had grassed to the cop who opened the case

Against the girl with the beautiful face

Who bought from the boy

Who sold for the man

Who grew the weed

That was stashed in the loft

At the top of the house that Jack built

 

This is the flat in Eaton Place

That belongs to the judge in robes and lace

Who sentenced the skinhead armed with mace

Who threatened the witness of minority race

Who had grassed to the cop who opened the case

Against the girl with the beautiful face

Who bought from the boy

Who sold for the man

Who grew the weed

That was stashed in the loft

At the top of the house that Jack built

 

22 thoughts on “The House that Jack Built”

  1. No, no, Sipu, of course I know the original poem, doesn’t everyone? What I meant was, what real event are you referring to here? Like, which drug dealer, which coloured tart, which judge … and so on? Something that’s been in your newspapers, but not ours? Doh! 🙄

  2. Bearsy, good morning, or good afternoon! This is my entry for Janus’s new poetry competition. A nursery rhyme that has been adapted for the modern generation. Other than that it has no significance.

  3. Bearsy :

    Oh.

    Part of your comment was missing. It should have read,

    “Oh, I am sorry. I should have realised what your post was about when I read the category and tags and when I realised that ‘alternative nursery rhymes’ was the theme of the new creative writing/poetry competition and when I saw that you had taken the trouble to put a link in Janus’s post on the subject”.

    Apology accepted.

    As for everybody being familiar with the original poem, I have no way of knowing that. I thought that everybody knew this rhyme,

    For want of a nail a shoe was lost
    For want of a shoe a horse was lost
    For want of a horse a rider was lost
    For want of a rider a battle was lost
    For want of a battle a kingdom was lost
    What a sorry tale
    And all for the want of a horse shoe nail.

    But if you recall, it turned out that many people on this site had not heard of it.

  4. Sipu – your comment is rude and unwarranted. What on earth has got into you?

    Nursery rhymes – as most educated people know – were usually based on a political theme or some social upheaval (such as the plague – “Ring-a-ring-a-rosies”). I did you the honour of assuming that you had based your modern adaptation on some modern event, perhaps a trial which had not been publicised in Australia, or that Boadicea and I had neglected to read.

    Clearly I was wrong – you were merely mindlessly penning nonsense, with a bloody great chip on your shoulder.

    It is you that should be apologising for projecting your anger on to my innocent, polite questions. A little attitude readjustment might be in order.

  5. Bearsy, perhaps you do not realise, but the tone of your posts and comments frequently, no, usually appear patronising, rude and arrogant. Quite frankly you come across as a bully. That may not be your intention, but that is how they read. That is why so many people keep apologising, because they believe they have upset you or made you angry, or they take offence by what you have said. If you do not wish to be misinterpreted, may I suggest you modify your style so that your true meaning is made clear. The t-shirts you proudly displayed seems to indicate that you take pride in being an irritable know-it-all. Those characteristics may appeal to your family, and even others on this site, but they do not appeal to me.

    Given the great study you appear to have made on the origins of nursery rhymes, perhaps you could enlighten us at to the historic events that gave birth to the original ‘House that Jack Built’. And while you are about it, how about these as well?

    Ding dong dell
    Three blind mice
    Hey diddle diddle
    Pat-a-cake

    I did know that ‘ring a ring o’ roses’ (note the spelling) is alleged to have originated from the plague, but that is almost certainly an urban myth given that there are no records of the rhyme having existed prior to 1790; 125 years after the plague.

    Sometimes a nursery rhyme is just a nursery rhyme. Nursemaids, as a class, are not, to the best of my knowledge, particularly renowned for their great insights into cultural and historical events still less for their satirical and comedic commentaries thereof.

    As for the nonsense I penned, mindless it may be, though it has attracted the approval of several of the more erudite bloggers on this site. As far as I am aware, and I certainly stand to be corrected, it met the conditions of the competition set by Janus. I doubt many children today would be know what ‘malt’ was, though they would know what was meant by ‘weed’. Few would use expressions such as ‘forlorn’, or ‘shaven and shorn’, though they would be familiar with ‘minority race’ and ‘grassed’. Most, I would suggest, are far more likely to have interaction with policemen and judges than they are with priests and farmers. As for cocks crowing in the morn, well, I would not like to hazard what images that would conjure up for today’s youth.

    In short, my contribution was a light-hearted satirical observation of today’s youth composed while I was having a shower. It was not supposed to be a ‘magnum opus’ to rival the work Sheridan or Swift.

    Your tone was unwarranted. However, on the basis that I did misinterpret your intentions, I extend a sincere apology for the rudeness of my comment.

  6. Bearsy asked me whether the rhyme referred to some incident that we didn’t know about. I hadn’t a clue.

    Seems to me that the whole thing has got blown up out of all proportion… but that’s just my opinion.

  7. Thanks to all who have commented and/or expressed opinions; especially you Janus. 🙂
    (I have learned the importance on staying on the right side of the judge, ever since I made the mistake of attempting to belittle Bilby’s erstwhile compatriots, albeit in a light-hearted way, when she was adjudicating one of the competitions. Against my better judgement I implied that it was normal for antipodeans to wear sandals and socks. Silly me. I really did not stand a chance after such a gross calumny.)

  8. I’ve never won one of Bilby’s competitions either, Sipu. 😦

    In fact, I have never won any of the competitions but I remain undeterred by this tragedy. 😉

    PS. This updated Nursery Rhyme is definitely a winner!

  9. Sipu :

    Thanks to all who have commented and/or expressed opinions; especially you Janus. :)
    (I have learned the importance on staying on the right side of the judge, ever since I made the mistake of attempting to belittle Bilby’s erstwhile compatriots, albeit in a light-hearted way, when she was adjudicating one of the competitions. Against my better judgement I implied that it was normal for antipodeans to wear sandals and socks. Silly me. I really did not stand a chance after such a gross calumny.)

    You lost points on the sandals and socks, Sipu ;), but I laughed all the way through your story.
    Quality stuff, imo. 🙂

  10. Sipu – Anyone who can see comments #3, #7 & #9 as “patronising, rude and arrogant” has a chronic perceptual problem. You have spoilt a pleasant thread with your bigoted over-reactions. Please refrain from red-haze knee-jerks in future.

  11. Congratulations to Sipu
    The man who just has made
    The poetry less relevant,
    And the future less certain.

    HUGE smiley!

    OZ

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