Rhino humour

January 30, 2012 Leave a comment

This picture appeared in my Sunday read, I thought I’d share. The picture originator can be found here.

Camouflage

And BREAKING NEWS….

Scientists discover cure for AIDS…..

Read more…

Categories: Humour Tags: , , ,

Grey days

January 29, 2012 4 comments

The weather has changed overnight. The crisp, just-frozen dew of last night, which sparkled on the grass as we walked over it, has gone, leaving a grey smudge of a day.

These photographs are from yesterday

A yellow rose against the wall Read more…

The bells

January 29, 2012 Leave a comment

On hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Read more…

Categories: General

A moot point

January 29, 2012 10 comments
Our resident lawyer has raised a vital issue:

… how are there going to be ‘British’ embassies to no longer promote whisky? … (whatever name you come up with for the rest of the Disunited Kingdom).

If Nova Caledonia floats away, Britain will be diminished! Britannia’s rump will be……what? Anglia, including West Anglia?

This problem would never have arisen if Victoria’s desire to rename Scotland ‘North Britain’ had been adopted. Britain would now survive any minor pruning by hysterical apostates.

Please submit name suggestions for un-Jocked Britain – there’ll be prizes of course: 1st prize a week in Stirling, 2nd prize 2 weeks in Stirling.

Books, who needs them?

January 29, 2012 5 comments

So it’s books, who cares? Reading’s such a bore
My Information comes off the streets
from Facebook, Google, Wiki-p and more
to my hand held phone or simple tweets.
Knowledge they cry, ‘you should read and learn’
But Why? In the twenty first century.
Go green don’t chop down trees or slash and burn
think the future, save our ecology.
Agree that books and paper are finish
so last century, old, so outdated.
A laptop, TV and satellite dish
keep me up to date and educated.

So if your out looking for me
It won’t be Waterstones but HMV!

Categories: Bad Poetry

Carolling the “Isles of Wonder”

January 28, 2012 3 comments

My instant new version of  “Star of Wonder”

Isle of wonder
Isle of fright
Isle with dignitary blight
Fiscal bleeding
Coe proceeding
Soak us past our present plight.

Actually I prefer a much ruder last line which is more the measure of our glorious leaders’ opinions of the population! (Note apostrophe in correct place)

Treat us as your milch cow shite!

Categories: General

What a nice idea for an article – well done Auntie!

January 28, 2012 8 comments

In this year of the Olympics (I’m yawning already and have booked my holiday to Turkey for the first week – and I’m a sports fan!) I was delighted to see this article on the Beeb website and I thought immediately – where would my fellow Charioteers, who all have UK connections, choose?

Read this first and then add your choices!

I’ll start with the Peak District – especially Bakewell and the Monsal Trail. Just for its simple breathtaking beauty.

Categories: General

Clematis and Ladybirds

January 28, 2012 12 comments

The clematis buds among last years dead looking twigs herald hope for the Spring.

Read more…

A Michael Caine moment

January 28, 2012 11 comments

As a mere Sassenach I’m hardly qualified to draw conclusions but I wonder if Alex the Braveheart realises how much business his Nova Caledonia stands to lose by cutting itself adrift?

The other day a Tory minister let slip that scotch would no longer be promoted by British embassies worldwide. No doubt Irish whiskeys and bourbon would do instead. And an even deeper cut was revealed today: English people consume more haggis than Scots! Which would certainly cease to be the case if Alex prevailed. We’d resort to tripe and onions, Cornish pasties and Eccles cakes.

So be careful, once more, for what you wish for, you apostates.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/foodanddrink/foodanddrinknews/9038376/English-eat-more-haggis-than-Scots.html

Categories: Politics, The Dark Side

Another sonnet for the pomes comp

January 28, 2012 3 comments

Its all a load o balderdash! Dyou wish

To keep those pesky commas in mid-air?

How can they influence the price of fish?

If bookshops want to drop them, do I care?

Them Waterstones will still sell books, I smise

Like Boots will do the drugs and Tiffnys jewls?

And Ronald will make burgers, Sainsbrys pies?

Do squiggles in some logos make them fools?

So lets go back to dear old GBS.

He knew a thing or two bout grammar stuff.

Lets rite it ow we say it – dont digress.

Of snobby arty farty crap – enuff!

Shall I compare thee to a summers day?

I shall! And sweep that comma clean away!

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