Scary Thoughts

The White House has began saying that this oil spill is now considered to be the worst in history.  Here is a few things they are not telling us.

This is from an email I received from someone in the know, I have been corresponding with this guy for a few years now and he rarely gets things wrong.

I suppose I should also tell you that just like me, this man is very religious and believes this is part of the end of days but nevertheless he is a very smart man and knows exactly what he’s talking about. Continue reading “Scary Thoughts”

The New Creative Writing Challenge

As set by Ferret, winner of the challenge on “Sport”:

For the next contest: Write a short fiction piece, 1,000 words or less, that includes:

• should not take place between sea level and 200 feet.

• the word “secret”

Entries can be essay, memoir, fiction and poetry, rhymed or unrhymed.

Stories due here by 10 p.m GMT on Tuesday, June 15. (Three weeks from today.)

Continue reading “The New Creative Writing Challenge”

The Sting

A modern day cowboy has spent many days crossing the Texas plains without water.

His horse has already died of thirst.

He’s crawling through the sand, certain that he has breathed his last breath, when all of a sudden he sees an object sticking out of the sand several yards ahead of him.

He crawls to the object, pulls it out of the sand, and discovers what looks to be an old briefcase.

He opens it and out pops a genie. But this is no ordinary genie. She is wearing a FEMA (Federal Emergency Management Agency) ID badge and a dull gray dress.

There’s a calculator in her pocketbook. She has a pencil tucked behind one ear. ‘Well, cowboy,’ says the genie.. ‘You know how I work….You have three wishes.’

‘I’m not falling for this,’ said the cowboy… ‘I’m not going trust a FEMA genie…’

‘What do you have to lose? You’ve got no transportation, and it looks like you’re a goner anyway!’

The cowboy thinks about this for a minute, and decides that the genie is right.

‘OK!, I wish I were in a lush oasis with plenty of food and drink.’

***POOF***

The cowboy finds himself in the most beautiful oasis he has ever seen, and he is surrounded with jugs of wine and platters of delicacies.

‘OK, cowpoke, what’s your second wish?’

‘My second wish is that I was rich beyond my wildest dreams.’

***POOF***

The cowboy finds himself surrounded by treasure chests filled with rare gold coins and precious gems.

‘OK, cowpuncher, you have just one more wish. Better make it a good one!’

After thinking for a few minutes, the cowboy says… ‘I wish that no matter where I go, beautiful women will want and need me.’

***POOF***

He was turned into a tampon.

The moral of the story:

If the government offers to help you, there’s going to be a string attached

What I Am Doing On My Holidays Part 1

Venice 23rd May 2010

Well, we got here without too many problems. The Ryanair flight was only 3 hours late and they were almost apologetic about it.

Now ensconced in our self-catering apartment about five minute’s walk from San Marco. Last night, it was magic as gondoliers sailed past under our windows, serenading the punters who were paying an arm and a leg for what we were getting for free.

We have since discovered that we are on a little circuit where package tourists pay for a ‘gondola experience’ which lasts about 10 minutes. Flotillas of gondolas pass through every twenty minutes or so at peak times and the singing gondolier seems to be on a loop so far as I can hear. I reckon that, by Wednesday, I’ll be introducing him to the old Embra custom of ‘Gardy loo’ and chucking the contents of a slop bucket out of the window.
Continue reading “What I Am Doing On My Holidays Part 1”

The Creative Writing Challenge Results!

OK, that was very difficult. But an explanation of why I keep coming back to these sites: the always interesting and well-written stories they contain.

O Zangado came in with a tasty little story of intrigue and betrayal. In which the sport is not only sky-diving but also the parading of masculinity before a desirable Miss succinctly described as she of the long hair and longer legs. Both sports signal a defeat for the protagonist, while the Miss takes an unexpected turn for the worse, morphing into a modern day Lucrezia Borgia. What dark and ironic depths lay in the lair of the loping one!

Continue reading “The Creative Writing Challenge Results!”

For OZ – Another view of Portugal

The Algarve.  One good set of pics deserves another, OZ but I’m afraid these are predictable tourist snaps rather than any kind of indicator of what the Algarve is all about.   We were there maybe six years back staying with friends near Albufeira. Away from the touristy stuff and the beaches, we found cork forests, atmospheric towns, pretty villages, good restaurants, painted boats and a rich history of oceanic adventure and discovery. Continue reading “For OZ – Another view of Portugal”