The Euro Bailout for Ireland, how it works.

BAILING OUT THE IRISH – SIMPLE

It is a slow day in a damp little Irish town.

The rain is beating down and the streets are deserted.

Times are tough, everybody is in debt and everybody lives on credit.

On this particular day a rich German tourist is driving through the town, stops at the local hotel and lays a €100 note on the desk, telling the hotel owner he wants to inspect the rooms upstairs in order to pick one to spend the night.

The owner gives him some keys and, as soon as the visitor has walked upstairs, the hotelier grabs the €100 note and runs next door to pay his debt to the butcher.

The butcher takes the €100 note and runs down the street to repay his debt to the pig farmer.

The pig farmer takes the €100 note and heads off to pay his bill at the supplier of feed and fuel.

The guy at the Farmers’ Co-op takes the €100 note and runs to pay his drinks bill at the pub.

The publican slips the money along to the local prostitute drinking at the bar, who has also been facing hard times and has had to offer him “services” on credit.

The hooker then rushes to the hotel and pays off her room bill to the hotel owner with the €100 note.

The hotel proprietor then places the €100 note back on the counter so the rich traveller will not suspect anything.

At that moment the traveller comes down the stairs, picks up the €100 note, states that the rooms are not satisfactory, pockets the money and leaves town. No one produced anything. No one earned anything. However, the whole town is now out of debt and looking to the future with a lot more optimism.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how the bailout package works.

Retail Banking

Whatever happened to the retail banks in which the manager was available to the customer, and in which staff knew the rules and were able to advise people about their accounts? For some years now, my local branch has resembled a shop selling a variety of financial ‘products’. Staff are called advisers or counsellors, but haven’t a clue beyond the blurb in their package.

This weekend, I found the remains of a ten euro note that my young dog had somehow got his teeth on. The serial number was clear, so my wife telephoned the bank, not our branch, we don’t have the telephone number for that, but the regional offices. She explained the situation and asked if the damaged note could be exchanged for one that had not been chewed. ‘I don’t think so.’ came the reply. My wife is not one to be fobbed off. ‘Is that what you think so, or what you know?’ she asked. The ‘counsellor’ then asked my wife to hold on while she consulted a colleague. After several minutes of waiting she was told to consult the branch.

Oh, for the old bank manager.

Chickens, ducks, whatever – don’t count them too soon!

I expect this should really be up on Bearsy’s own blog, but I’ve forgotten its web address. Husband is just reading out the statistics for the first Ashes test. How did England manage that? Might there be some red Aussie faces round Brisbane?  Perhaps it was the wrong LBW decision in the first Aussie innings that got England’s dander up. Even though I’m not English and don’t really follow cricket, I can’t wait for the next test.