Category: Humour

Did you play space Invaders?

A long time ago Alan Coren published what I thought was a very funny article parodying the use of computer technology by a national newspaper. The piece Coren wrote for Punch was about the use of a newspaper database supposedly used at The Guardian newspaper, or The Grauniad as it was known. How ‘The Guardian’ became called ‘The Grauniad’ is the stuff of urban legend.
Continue reading “Did you play space Invaders?”

I’m a lumberjack and I’m macho

It occurred to me that if I’m going to post to an Aussie blog site then, especially as a Pom, I need to show some ‘machismo’. Machismo is central to the theme in the novel ‘The Honorary Consul’ by Graham Greene. While the novel was a risible take on machismo in Latin America, it never sought to alter the meaning of the word. I can’t remember if Greene’s novel was my introduction to machismo, but when I read it I was aware that the term machismo wasn’t in common use, or the truncated version ”macho’. Macho is now of course widely used, especially by females who use it synonymously with Neanderthal. Language being one of the many subversive elements used to change society, which is now moving inexorably towards that portrayed in ‘The Worm That Turned’. How long will it be I wonder before this transformation is complete? That the male become mere chattel, a plaything, not worthy of education, relieved of his suffrage. How long I wonder before the role of the male in the reproductive process becomes a myth, leading to his acceptance that procreation occurs when the female turns her hindquarters towards Boreas?
Continue reading “I’m a lumberjack and I’m macho”

Reticulated

This morning I turned up on time, somewhere.
The car park was empty and there were no people to be seen.
I had come out on a study day – (a non-uniform, proper breaks day, a learn and develop, restful day) – with my home work carefully done and a folder to put it in BUT without my work phone, my work bag or the print out of the email telling me where I should be. Continue reading “Reticulated”

For the night shift Pt 2.

Australia.

Australia is a very confusing place, taking up a large amount of the bottom half of the planet. It is recognisable from orbit because of many unusual features, including what at first looks like an enormous bite taken out of its southern edge; a wall of sheer cliffs which plunge deep into the girting sea. Geologists assure us that this is simply an accident of geomorphology and plate tectonics, but they still call it the “Great Australian Bight” proving that not only are they covering up a more frightening theory, but they can’t spell either. Continue reading “For the night shift Pt 2.”

The Immortal Memory

In bygone times, we male Jocks tended to go just a wee touch Neanderthal at this time of year. Not, of course, that this is a bad thing, if hmb happens to be looking in. Personally, I blame it on the long, dark nights, the need to step up the fat content of our diet even higher than usual in order to get close to feeling slightly less than cold and the Six Nations tournament with its inevitable realisation that we are doomed, yet again, to contest the wooden spoon with the Italians. Continue reading “The Immortal Memory”