Category: General

The Cornish Farmer

Dennis Penberthy, an elderly Cornish farmer, received a letter from the Department for Work & Pensions, stating that they suspected he was not paying his employees enough and they would send an inspector to interview them.

On the appointed day, the inspector turned up. “Tell me about your staff,” he asked Penberthy.

“Well,” said Penberthy, “there’s the farm hand. I pay him £240 a week, and he has a free cottage.

Then there’s the housekeeper. She gets £190 a week, along with free board and lodging.

There’s also the half-wit. He works a 16 hour day, does 90% of the work, earns about £25 a week, along with a bottle of gin every week, and, occasionally, gets to sleep with my wife.”

“That’s who I want to talk to,” said the inspector, “the half-wit.”

“That’ll be me then,” said Penberthy.

The New Leader

This is the man our boys will soon be trusting their lives with, General David Petraeus, (Australians are soon to be led by the US Command)

Let’s hope he’s a real general and ends this war quickly, I never understood why the world’s greatest armies cannot defeat a rag tag Taliban 😦

Another Zim princess.

There is obviously something about the Rhodesian/Zimbabwean girls that makes them irresistible to European Royalty. First it was Prince Harry who has been chasing Chelsy Davy for the past few years, and now Prince Albert of Monaco has announced his engagement to Charlene Wittstock.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/monaco/7849395/Prince-Albert-of-Monaco-to-marry-Olympic-swimmer.html

I have to say that despite her Christian name, Charlene looks to be a classy girl; well, compared to Ms Davy anyway. Incidentally, Chelsy’s dad was at school with me, though he is a few years older.

My Alma mater is situated next to the Botanical Gardens in Harare. In the good old bad old days of Rhodesia, young courting couples would drive their cars into the gardens at night where they would ‘make out’. It was a rite of passage for the school borders to sneak out after lights out and head for the gardens. The object was to creep up on a car and then shine a torch into the startled faces of a guilty couple just when they were in the most compromising situation. On one occasion this happened, the chap happened to know that the unwelcome voyeurs were from school, he having participated in just such an activity when he was there a few years earlier. In a state of almost complete nudity, he chased them back into the dormitory where he was confronted by the member of staff on duty. That unfortunate, frustrated lover was our Chelsy’s dad!