Category: General

Educated puns

Puns for Educated Minds

The fattest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian .

She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.

No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery.

If ever a woman asks for a Double Entendre, make sure you give her one

A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana..

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: ‘Keep off the Grass.’

The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

A backward poet writes inverse.

In a democracy it’s your vote that counts. In feudalism it’s your count that votes.

When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

The Buddhist refused Novocain during a root canal treatment His goal: transcend dental medication.

There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns
would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.

Random Acts of Culture

The Opera Company of Philadelphia and about 30 choral groups and a fantastic organist playing a mighty Wannemaker organ joined together for this celebration – a season opener at Macy’s.

To learn more about the Random Act of Culture work, see:

www.knightarts.com

Somehow I don’t think we’ll see it happening at Harrods in the foreseeable future, but you never know – the Qataris are mavericks!

Daddies!

Can there be any clearer sign of Britain’s decadence than the absence of its political leaders on ‘paternity leave’? The latest to prefer cradle to Commons is the leader of the opposition, Ed Milliband. Do these ‘leaders’ not realise that we are in momentous times? Does the allegedly socialist leader consider how his absence might appear to those who look to Labour to defend their interests, the employees facing the sack, the tenants who may be ejected from their homes etc? We have three leaders of child producing age, Cameron, Clegg and Milliband. What happens if they all have children at the same time? These people were elected for their supposed leadership qualities, not as caring daddies.