Category: General

Buried treasure

I was standing in the Marche (sorry for lack of accents) Forville in Cannes today gazing at a collection of this season’s truffles. Prices started at 200 euro per kilo and proceeded through 350 euro, 400 euro, 750 euro to 2,200 euro. I couldn’t help wondering how the sellers can tell the difference between the quality of one small, knobbly, earth-covered bit of  fungus and another. It struck me that the Irish government should really be rooting round underneath the country’s oak trees to see if there isn’t a way of raising some much-needed cash lying buried there.

 

Honeymoon murder

Driver Tongo at his trial

£1300, that’s what our Times Newspaper report the driver (Tongo) admitted in court today is what the ‘husband’ paid for the murder of his wife!

The DT report that Tongo got 18 years and will testify against the 2 co-accused (the ‘hitmen’.)

The Daily Mail have a similar report but as is the case with the DT we can’t comment for ‘legal reasons’

This Max Clifford must have a lot of connections, every time I try and post something on this case on MyT it’s quickly deleted.

Clifford is reported as saying “We were warned to expect what has happened today because our South African lawyers said this is often how cases develop there.”

Well I’d like some examples, I can’t recall a single case with circumstances remotely similar to this!

e-news (an independent news service here) have just reported that our lot have issued an extradition warrant for the husband, good.

HONEYMOON….

A young couple left the church and arrived at the hotel where they were spending the first night of their honeymoon. They opened the champagne and began undressing. When the bridegroom removed his socks, his new wife asked, “What’s wrong with your feet? Your toes look all mangled and weird.

“I had tolio as a child,” he answered.

“You mean polio?” she asked.

“No, tolio . The disease only affected my toes.”

When the groom took off his pants, his bride once again asked

“What’s wrong with your knees? They’re all lumpy and deformed!”

“As a child, I also had kneasles,” he explained.

“You mean measles?” she asked.

“No, kneasles. It was a strange illness that only affected my knees.”

The new bride had to be satisfied with this answer.

As the undressing continued, her husband at last removed his underwear.

“Don’t tell me,” she said.

“Let me guess…

Smallcox !

Yartz

It appears that the winner of this year’s Turner Prize is a female Jockanese ginger, one soi-disant Susan ‘Philipsz’.

The general theme of the ‘intros’ by the establishment luvvies was that “art matters”, whatever its apparent merit. Does it really? Why does ‘yartz’ not face the same rigours of the commercial market like everything else, apart from public services and anything else arranged by The State. If it’s cr*p, then nobody will pay to see/listen to/’experience’ it and the corpse will die a well-deserved, quiet death rather than be kept alive by taxpayers’ money.

OZ