Author: zenrules

64,MS,wheelchair,angry

Catholic Parrots

A lady goes to her priest one day and tells him, ‘Father, I have a problem.

I have two female parrots,

But they only know how to say one thing.’

‘What do they say?’ the priest inquired.

‘They say, “Hi, we’re hookers, do you want to have some fun?”

‘That’s obscene!’ the priest exclaimed,
Then he thought for a moment and said
‘You know, I may have a solution to your problem. I have two male talking parrots,
which I have taught to pray and read the Bible..bring your two parrots over to my house and we’ll put them in the cage with Francis and Peter. My parrots can teach your parrots to praise and worship and your parrots are sure to stop saying that phrase in no time.’

Thank you,’ the woman responded, ‘this may very well be the solution to my problem.’

The next day, she brought her female parrots to the priest’s house.
As he ushered her in, she saw that his two male parrots were inside their cage holding rosary beads and praying.
Impressed, she walked over and placed her parrots in with them.
After a few minutes, the female parrots cried out in unison:
Hi, we’re hookers, do you want to have some fun?’
There was stunned silence.

Shocked, one male parrot looked over at the other male parrot and exclaimed,

‘Put the beads away, Frank, our prayers have been answered

Sunday giggle…

Subject: dentists

The dentist pulls out a numbing needle to give the man a shot.
“No way.  No needles.  I hate needles.” the patient says.

The dentist starts to hook up the nitrous oxide and the man objects.
“I can’t do the gas thing.   The thought of having the gas mask on is suffocating me.”

The dentist then asks the patient if he has any objection to taking a pill.

“No objection,” the patient says, “I’m fine with pills.”

The dentist then hands him a pill and a glass of water and says, “Here’s a Viagra.”

The patient says, “Wow, I didn’t know Viagra worked as a pain killer.”

“It doesn’t,” said the dentist, “but it’s going to give you something to hold on to when I pull your tooth.”

Outlook.

I am an optimist, unrepentant and militant. After all, in order not to be a fool an optimist must know how sad a place the world can be. It is only the pessimist who finds this out anew every day.
Peter Ustinov

Goodnight everyone, sleep well.