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Status Update

The Chariot has now moved past a bit miffed, and is approaching really rather pissed off.

As a result, our security status has been raised to keep a weather eye open; chariots have been refitted with military-grade scythes, and the censor has been released from protective custody.   Any post or comment which offers – however subtly – support for the cult of murderous medieval misfits will be immediately dematerialised.

No adverse postings are anticipated, but better safe than sorry.

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Categories: General, Politics, Religion
  1. May 24, 2017 at 12:22 pm

    I firmly believe in giving those who adhere to such ideology dynamite suppositories at isolated fields.

  2. christinaosborne
    May 24, 2017 at 4:20 pm

    I anticipate a summer of impromptu bonfires.
    Strange that, it used to be called ‘Jewish lightening’!

  3. O Zangado
    May 24, 2017 at 5:53 pm

    Not for one moment to make light of recent and not-so-recent atrocities by, ahem, some patrons of Ali’s Snackbar, but has the security status of The Chariot just been raised from ‘severe’ to ‘critical’ in current UK Establishment fashion or are we still working on a more realistic view as in Alerts to terror threats ?

    I particularly like the claimed Aussie standpoint and, not being one to panic, am personally carrying on by throwing some marinated bunny chops on the barbie tomorrow lunchtime.

    OZ

  4. christinaosborne
    May 24, 2017 at 7:03 pm

    Absolutely brilliant OZ, cheers and thanks.

  5. May 25, 2017 at 7:34 am

    I’m akshully under cover ‘somewhere in England’ (in true Dad’s Army mode). Even Backside is a bit het up so watch it!

  6. May 25, 2017 at 5:24 pm

    Enoch Powell must be turning in his grave. I don’t suppose that even he knew how prescient his ‘Rivers of Blood’ speech was and there is, I fear, more to come.

  7. christinaosborne
    May 25, 2017 at 7:41 pm

    One has to ask oneself how many more people must die at the hands of poisonous ragheads before the powers that be will be actually willing to do some pretty punitive reprisals?
    We should never have allowed any permanent immigrants from other than Christian countries.
    Why does no one learn from History?
    Ferdinand and Isabella had the right idea! Abjure, convert or die, it worked for Spain only just 500+ years ago. Seemingly haven’t learnt too much since, have we?

    And humanity has purported to have progressed since then? More like regressed into terminal and suicidal stupidity.

  8. cogitationator
    May 25, 2017 at 8:42 pm

    To me, one of the worst things about suicide bombings is that there’s not enough left of the perpetrator to torture slowly to death in public. We in the “civilized” West, as in the UK, now avoid bloodying our hands (except maybe at certain sports events). Here in the USA, we have our little execution ceremonies, all calculated to make ourselves feel better about causing the condemned any pain and suffering. The poor babies! I think even Utah has now given up the firing squad option. Well, (expletive deleted) that, say I, bring back hemp (in the form of rope) or, better yet, la guillotine! I’m sure that, if we asked nicely, the Frogs could provide blueprints of their latest model. Seeing how fond that ISIS lot are of beheadings, set it up in a very large public square and mandate full unedited TV coverage so that all can behold the fate of all those convicted of anything terrorism-related. The object of terrorism is to terrorize and, if we really applied ourselves, we could be even better at it than the ragheads. Maybe take a tip from the ancient Romans and decimate (in its original sense of butchering every tenth person in the offending area) the population of those places whence such malefactors come. Or maybe borrow from the Native Americans and bring out four wild horses for each execution. Or… or… (trailing off, foaming at the mouth).

  9. May 25, 2017 at 9:56 pm

    Cog: Oklahoma allows for hanging, firing squad and gas chambers. Florida allows for the electric chair. I’m in extreme minority here who favours the reintroduction of capital punishment. I don’t give a toss if it isn’t a deterrent. It is, however, guaranteed to prevent recidivism.

  10. May 26, 2017 at 8:18 am

    As Backside dons his knotted hankie to face the heat of the day, Jezza Corbyn prepares to shoot himself in his pacifist foot. He reckons the thoroughly reasonable terrororists will leave us alone if we just keep our forces at home and our Theresa can’t cope with them. Great idea! Dear Manic Musselman, we’ll play nicely so may we ask you to join us?

  11. May 26, 2017 at 2:41 pm

    If Jezza and his highly original way thinking had been around a few years ago, we could all have done nothing and avoided that whole nasty WW11 thing. If we’d refused to join in, Adolf would’ve just packed up and gone home and left everyone else alone, while we would all have been able to wander around cheering and saying things like “Peace in our time”

    Does anyone else believe in Deja Vue?

  12. cogitationator
    May 26, 2017 at 8:02 pm

    Yes, yes, of course various jurisdictions have different methods of execution still on the books. I myself, as a former resident of New York State, remember fondly the days of “Old Sparky,” the electric chair in Sing Sing Prison. My dentist was in Ossining, NY, just up the hill (and what a steep hill it was!) from there but I never left his office so heavily sedated as to roll down the hill and “crash the joint.” Washington State, where I live now, still lists hanging as an approved method – if only they’d stiffen up their wrists and get on with it. I’m surprised that our China expert didn’t mention “slow slicing.”

    How about this for the troublesome Middle Eastern types among us: round them up and repatriate them – from 30,000 feet, needless to say without benefit of parachutes.

  13. May 26, 2017 at 11:58 pm

    Cog: “Slow-slicing” was rarely actually practised, nor was it quite as gruesome as the fanciful Western imagination would portray it to be. Generally speaking, they were made rather too drunk to notice anything any more before they started. Most executions were carried out by garrotting or other forms of strangulation. For truly horrific methods of execution it’s best to look to Europe. I do, however, approve of the Chinese policy of billing the families of executed criminals for the bullet.

  14. sheona
    May 27, 2017 at 6:19 pm

    Can’t agree with your last paragraph Cog. They must be given the opportunity to buy a parachute, but lessons in how to use it would to too time-consuming.

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