A Most Humble Offer

I went to training school today to print B&B reservations, train schedules, my Caledonian Sleeper ticket and make a copy of an assignment for a student. I was asked where I was going by a directrix and responded “the UK, as usual”. She, a Scouser-turned-Wog of the worst sort, sneered and started to rant incoherently. Apparently, I have “let the side down” terribly and should be ashamed of myself for travelling to the United Kingdom. Her opinion is shared by many. So, may I make a most humble offer? I will trade my position in Spain to any poor Bremainer. In exchange I will settle in blighted Blighty and drink copious amounts of tea as penance.

Author: Christopher-Dorset

A Bloody Kangaroo

13 thoughts on “A Most Humble Offer”

  1. Should have told her that her impertinence was neither required nor warranted!

  2. Christopher, maybe she is a confused cross-breed (may one say that?) in need of a good talking to. 😷

  3. Janus: She’s a Scouser of Hibernian extraction. She promised to never return to that Sceptred Isle. She’s beyond a good talking to. She’s content to be in Europe’s Dole Queen and good on her for it. I just wish that a few more implacable “remainers” would get on with moving to their blessed train wreck!

  4. It’s amazing how intolerant some Remainers are. A friend emailed on 24th because she was having chunks bitten out of her by another so-called friend for being “ignorant, stupid and naïve” and having voted for Brexit. The “friend” accused her of having ruined her, the friend’s, childrens’ future, but farther investigation revealed that neither child had bothered to vote. Ignorant, stupid and naïve indeed!

  5. Sheona: What no one has been able to answer to any satisfaction is how, exactly, anyone’s future has been ruined. No year living in Europe at university? Japanese, Taiwanese, Hong Kong and South Korean students attend foreign universities en masse. Nor, for that matter, are young people limited to only spending a year in Europe. I’ve met European students in Hawai’i, San Francisco and Minnesota and have heard from Strayans and Kiwis that many European students have spent their year in the Antipodes. Working on the continent might become more difficult? The poor dears are largely monolingual, anyway! What sort of future would they realistically have in, say, France, Germany or Sweden if it would take them several years to become even marginally proficient in those languages? In all likelihood they will retain relatively easy access to the continent and gain easier access to Canada, Australia and New Zealand. It’s entirely an emotional response that would usually be dismissed with utter contempt for its absurdity. Ugh! I leave for Luxembourg in 20 days and the UK soon after that.

  6. It’s shocking to realise that so many people can behave totally irrationally like this Scotch-Scouser in Spain. All attempts to educate here have clearly failed – and now she’s a teacher!

  7. Janus: She was an ophthalmic optician before moving to Spain. She’s not stupid by any means, nor is she generally an unpleasant person. I am terrified of seeing the school owner as she is even more shrill and self-loathing. It’s strange. When I said that I supported Brexit, Spaniards have largely tried to understand why the majority voted the way it did. Even if they don’t agree, there’s at least some respect for differing opinions. It isn’t dissimilar in Hunland. The British fifth column makes itself heard again, those who see it as a virtue to despise their own country and traditions.

  8. You can tell this shallow harridan from me that she is a disgrace to Scousers everywhere. Perhaps she is actually worried about losing all the ‘essentials’ from the Blighty she postures to despise such as Sky Sports, Tennent’s Lager, Fish’n’Chip shops and chance to patronise local businesses – and I mean patronise in its worst possible sense. “You there, Pedro!” (Wags petulant finger in general direction of unfortunate tradesman.) “You come fixo draino, right now! Chop chop! Where are you going? What’s wrong with these people – don’t they understand English?”


  9. Aye weel, Christopher!

    Let’s get to the nub of your post. I refer, of course, to your statement that you would be travelling here by the Caledonian Sleeper. I had this sudden worry that I would have to get up far too early on the Sabbath to pick you up at Waverley Station.

    Worry over, of course, Having checked our e-mail exchanges, I see that the CS is wafting you to Fort William on 18th prox. to spend two days ‘ chasing the deer’ as the boy Burns has it.


    Followed by two days in Weegieland? This is, needless to say, exactly 47 hours, 59 minutes and 59 seconds too long, in my opinion. Whatever!

    Could you please explain the difference between ‘Hibernian’ and ‘Scotch’ to your friend Janus if you are speaking to him. Which I am not.

  10. Janus: “Hibernian” refers to things Irish, “Caledonian” refers to things Scottish. She’s a Scouser of Irish extraction. Generally a lovely enough person, but she seems to have taken leave of her senses as have many in Spain. I also suspect that the word you intended to use was “Scots”, not “Scotch”.

    Oz: I doubt we’ll be speaking much at all in the future! It’s amusing, really. I’m deemed to be the whinger and the misfit, but I spend my time in my neighbourhood shopping at local businesses and chatting with others living here. I have no connexion to that expatriate group. Their “making the most out of Spain” entails exactly what you describe. No, not for me. I’ll take my Bolivian coffee shop and Chinese green grocer!

    JM: I am a great believer in not getting up before 8 in the morning. I have not, of course, been able to hold true to my beliefs as work necessitates rising at 6 and giving lessons at 8:30.This is a deviation based on the desire to not sleep on the street! My time in Glasgow has, incidentally, been pared down. I thought better than to take the early morning train to Mallaig which means that I will not arrive in the Land of Sturgeon until past the 9th hour of the evening. One simply cannot reject the call of the Highlands — or the chance to travel the entirety of the West Highland Line. We can arrange a much more civilised time to meet on the Sabbath.

  11. In fairness, Christopher, I am in no doubt that Janus fully intended to use ‘Scotch’.

    He’s entitled, being a Southron.

    Hi jazz!

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