Footie ditties

Jurgen, Jurgen, don’t you stop   (to the tune of ‘Horsey, horsey’)

While your fans up on the Kop

Like your grinning when you’re winning

Jurgen Jurgen Jurgen Klopp


All the referees are mad    (to the tune of ‘Eviva espagna’ even though he’s Portuguese)

Says Jose Mourinho

Arsene Wenger’s just as bad

Says Jose Mourinho

They just love him in The Shed

Their Jose Mourinho

Even if he fires the Med

Their Jose Mourinho

I’m so special, I’m the one

Says Jose Mourinho

No one tells him when he’s done

That Jose Mourinho

  1. November 6, 2015 at 9:50 am

    Why not have a go with the manager you love to hate?

    Pellegrini? Pasta, sir?
    Guardiola? Must be cheese.
    Monk and Pardew? Lawyers both?
    And Pulis?…….

    Over to you.

  2. November 7, 2015 at 5:33 am

    Sports leave me at a loss,
    not that I really give a toss.
    For whatever one hankers,
    there are overpaid athletic wankers.
    I can’t be asked,
    this fact can’t be masked.

  3. November 7, 2015 at 6:46 am

    Thanks anyway, C! 😜

  4. November 7, 2015 at 8:01 am

    Football also leaves me cold
    It’s only for poofs or so I’m told
    Rugby is for the real men
    Footballers can’t even count to ten
    In rugby, players are educated
    And are far more dedicated.

  5. November 7, 2015 at 8:53 am

    Gaz, indeed. A gentlemen’s game played by yobs and a yobs’ game played by gents! Or so I’ve heard! Give us a pome about rugby refs then! 😊

  6. November 7, 2015 at 10:17 am

    I hate Joubert
    I hate Joubert
    Sucks to you
    Sucks to you
    Deserving Jocks he was agin
    Costing them a certain win
    Boo oo oo
    Boo oo oo

    No need to name the tune, I trust.

  7. November 7, 2015 at 10:42 am

    Nice one, frere Sipu! 🎶

  8. sheona
    November 7, 2015 at 11:28 pm

    To the tune of “Bobby Shaftoe’s gone to sea”

    Fergie’s in retirement now
    Lots of laurels on his brow.
    No more touchline tantrums now.
    Glad we’re shot of Fergie.

    Thank you for your song, Sipu.

  9. O Zangado
    November 9, 2015 at 7:22 am

    Two genuine ones from the 60s/early70s on The Kop

    To the tune of The Dambusters’ March

    We all hate Leeds and Leeds
    And Leeds and Leeds and Leeds and Leeds
    And Leeds and Leeds and Leeds and Leeds
    And Leeds and @!?*ing Leeds.

    Think of Land of Hope and Glory

    We hate Nottingham Forest,
    We hate Everton too.
    We hate City and United,
    But Liverpool, we love you.

    From the same era, a smartarse in the stands trying to look like he belonged, “Oh, I say, who’s the referee today?” A world-weary Scouse replied, “The one in the black suit, son.”


  10. O Zangado
    November 9, 2015 at 7:32 am

    Oh, and another one from when Man Ure came to Anfield just after Eric Cantona was charged for drop-kicking a gobby opposition supporter (the only recorded case of when the sh*t really did hit the fan :-D) and was facing a possible jail sentence, “Ooh, aah pri-son-er, we say ooh aah pri-son-ah!”


  11. November 9, 2015 at 7:53 am


  12. November 9, 2015 at 7:55 am

    Oz: smiley thing!

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