The Great CO Might Well Be Vindicated

Today I received an email. In it I was essentially told that I was incompetent, incapable and utterly unsuited for the position of ESL instructor. After under three weeks on the job I was told that I am not nearly experienced enough. I was told that my accent is entirely wrong. This information was entirely based on lies and distortions by a nasty, vindictive shrew of a peasant. If their attitude does not change I might well return to Europe from Taiwan and let them wallow in their own filth.

Author: Christopher-Dorset

A Bloody Kangaroo

31 thoughts on “The Great CO Might Well Be Vindicated”

  1. You have happened upon a nest of vipers in old Cathay, huh? How’s about ESL in Olde Englande? Plenty of candidates for your classes and oodles of appreciation, in my opinion.

  2. Janus: all I’d like is to be allowed to do my job. I was given no training, no advice and inkling as to how much or how little students speak English. If anyone could send me a link I’d be more than happy to apply.

  3. Janus: thank you for the link. I will see what I can potentially do. I was never even given a chance. I had to spend thousands of pounds for this and this is what I get for it.

  4. Bloody hell, Christopher, talk about mission impossible! This is truly appalling. You were thrown in at the deep end and now they treat you like this!

    It really is totally unreasonable. When are you booked to go to Taiwan?

  5. PS. Circumstances here are a bit more chaotic than usual. I’m trying to clear my sitting room because the ceiling is going to be re-plastered next week and then the decorating starts! So I don’t have anywhere to put my PC. I’m also trying to er puppy proof the ground floor and garden because we are collecting said puppy the following week! In an ideal world I wouldn’t have chosen to start the decorating but if I postpone it it probably won’t happen, knowing the tradesmen in this part of the world! The combination of new puppy and acres of wet paint is a bit worrying.

    Anyway, I can stand brief periods of time connecting to the internet but it’s not exactly in comfort at the moment!

  6. Araminta: when I read that email my face was redder than Jeremy Corbyn. I alternated between being at the brink of tears and recreating the Sacking of the Summer Palace. I am booked to go to Japan on 30 January and fly to Taiwan on the 15th of February. I have not booked a return flight to China, although I will be in Taiwan until the 21st of February at least. I do not need this, I did nothing to deserve this. I was given no textbooks to work with or sense of where students are. I was simply told to come at certain times and come up with lessons out of thin air. I’ve done my best not knowing how much students know. They wouldn’t even let me browse through student books in advance. Nor do I even have anything remotely resembling a reasonable schedule. I only see most classes every other week and have thus been unable to build a rapport with most of the students.

  7. Christopher

    I have a feeling that we may have met elsewhere recently (on line,that is to say) . Maybe not. I hope you can reach a happy issue out of your afflictions ere long.

  8. Christopher – having welcomed you face to face, I have to admit you do have a strong Germanic accent, which was surprising as your written English is better than most Anglo-Saxons and all of the FaceAche generation in Murica (Christina and Low Wattage excepted).

    I remember from my former incarnation that Rowntree’s Kit Kat bars were sold exclusively in China and Japan as Mackintosh’s Kit Kat because nobody there could pronounce ‘Lowntlee’. A cheap joke, admittedly, but one you might find useful. ๐Ÿ˜€


  9. Oz: Yes, but is my accent worse than a Weegie Ned’s, a Black Country Oik or someone from the Deepest of the Deep South, Planet ‘MURCA? Most Chinese don’t even notice the difference. Oddly, my accent thinned significantly while living in Germany. What boffers me about this is that they knew that I was from Germany, that I lived in Germany and that I was decidedly European when they hired me to begin with. I will from now on speak to them in my best, campy Northern California Valley Girl.

  10. Christopher, I have a better idea. This is the company I worked for as an ESL teacher. They offer jobs in many countries.

    http//www. uk – their website.

  11. I am so sorry Christopher. Didn’t think it was a goer from the start.
    I think it is a bad idea to look for teaching foreigners English jobs. Obviously being American/German you are not going to speak with a received pronunciation accent and I expect most of them want just that! Ironically the British do not seem to care how people speak, just watch the BBC these days!! Regrettably every body else does. They want the pukka real thing.
    Were I in your shoes I would cut my losses, fly back to California from Taiwan, camp out with your mum and apply for Govt, UN and interrnational jobs where you multifarious language talents would be a great advantage. America is woefully short on polyglots apart from Spanish. I know you do not like America but I reckon you could do better based there than elsewhere. Trouble is you show your contempt for the place which gets it back in return!! Perhaps if you tried to be a little more ameliorating it might pay off? Got to be better than the bloody chinks anyway!
    I wouldn’t touch the EU at the moment or the UK with the immigrant problem. Not a good place to be if you don’t look Anglo Saxon! Never seen a picture of you. I remember your dad is part American Indian.
    I know you like the Far East but on the whole they don’t want us in their societies, not on a permanent basis anyway! Liberal arts grads don’t cut it like cutting edge physicists!
    Cut your losses and get out by the cheapest quickest method and learn from the experience.
    Pragmatic realism should rule, not emotional pull.
    I do not intend to upset you with my comments, but having been in similar dilemmas most of my adult life I
    have become rather chiily, pragmatic and calculating in decision making. You are still following your heart’s desires.
    Stop it.

    PS Can’t wait to get back to WA, Decent central heating alone! What is wrong with the bloody British,no-one turning the heating on, farting around with on off onoff for about 5 minutes per light year..
    My hands hurt so badly it isn’t true with arthritis.
    V busy with flogging Brum flat and contemplating sueing people!
    Out of circulation now till mid next week, not sure they have computers in Pembrokeshire! Hands too cold to work stone tablets.

  12. CO, your disillusionment with Wales seems to mirror C’s problems!! I do agree. Jobs and locations must be selected without sentiment.

  13. Christopher – I was by no way decrying your accent and you are right to point out that it is no worse than Weegie (where is the Royalist these days?) nor Deep South Murcan, nor even broad Liverpudlian Scouse, I have to admit.


  14. Janus: thanks for this.

    CO: I still plan on squeezing a few thousand more pounds out of this lot! I am safe until the end of January as they cannot do the paperwork quickly enough to bring in anyone else to replace me. If I quit, I’d have to pay them a $1000 US fine and however much it costs to cancel a work visa early! If I quietly disappear to Japan and then to Taiwan there is nothing they can do to me and there is no way they can hold me. Japan certainly won’t co-operate and Taiwan is not a part of China, no matter what Beijing thinks and with the next president almost certain to be Tsai Ing-wen, hell will freeze over before she bows.

    I look very Northern European — in Denmark people without fail speak to me first in Danish. In Ireland people actually walked up to me speaking in Gaelic and were shocked that I wasn’t Irish. I might only be half European, but the Northern European part of that is absolutely dominant.

    If I have the misfortune of having no choice but to be stuck in the US I’d be unlikely to be more than a cashier or clerk. I simply don’t have the stomach to leave a single, rural county. There are few jobs and even fewer decent jobs. It would be a life of genteel poverty which would afford me the chance to go on holiday for a few weeks each year as I could keep my expenses to an nearly non-existent level. The Yanks can get stuffed. A tiger doesn’t change its stripes.

  15. Oz: my apologies. I wasn’t offended by your comment. At the moment, although I’m gradually calming down and plotting my next move, I’m slightly vexed and marginally tense.

    Janus: there are some places that are simply not acceptable, however. I learnt the hard way to not try in the USA — that the only way to survive is to have nothing that can be taken. I left that country for very specific reasons. Germany was a bureaucratic nightmare, but my paperwork is completed now. Working as an ESL teacher in Western Europe might not be the best career, but it is still better than living in a place that I utterly despise.

  16. Your exit sounds like a plan! Still don’t like this teaching bit though. What is wrong with industry?
    Marketing say in Germany, they have a lot of exports,someone has to speak the lingo.

  17. Tina.

    I can vouch for Christopher not looking in the least bit “foreign”, having met him several times and having been to visit me both in South Oxfordshire and here in Dorset, I don’t think he’s convinced the whole of the UK is swarming with immigrants! Dorset most certainly isn’t! The downside to that is there is not a great deal of employment likely to suit in this backwater, although there are undoubtedly more opportunities in the Poole, Bournemouth conurbation.

    I agree about the heating though. I can’t stand being, cold and it is cold in the mornings and evenings so my heating is most certainly on. Most of my neighbours think this is utterly absurd and they are all still wandering around in summer gear, and their houses are freezing.

  18. CO: it’s very simple. I am working on an accredited college certificate in business/industry. I will be finished by the end of next year as I am only taking two courses per term. This teaching bit isn’t really a life-long career choice for me, it’s only a way for me to make a bit of money in the short-term. Jobs are easy to find and the stress level in most cases isn’t that high.

  19. Araminta: there is another side to that. Although there are fewer jobs in much of Dorset there is also far less competition. In London I’d be a minnow in a very large ocean, in Dorset I’d be a mid-sized fish in a pond. As my expectations for life are very modest I could easily make due with a moderately decent position.

    Having survived freezing weather in Japanese houses and been through German winters in houses not much different from those in the UK I learnt to survive happily with warm, hand-knit woollen shoes and thick blankets!

  20. “Iโ€™m slightly vexed and marginally tense.” May I recommend a precautionary dose of FrizzEase, a few bottles of which I happen to have about my person?


  21. Christopher – Sorted and posted to ‘The Hunnish One, China’. Should be no problem.

    Araminta – You and Auntie Bilby need to pack your sandpits and move to the warmer climes of Portugal, where we need urgently to discuss ETHEL, as I keep mentioning!


  22. Arrers, this is a clear case of Stockholm Syndrome. Ethel has occupied the Cave and OZ has become……close. You need to help! ๐Ÿ˜ท

  23. Oh dear, Janus, I’m sure OZ will cope, and I have quite enough on my plate at the moment. Very selfish I know, but a problem shared and all that!

    Dear Oz, we moved twice in 6 months and Dorset is a BIG county. But, Ethel is nothing if not resourceful, so I dare say she’ll track us down eventually. Shudder!

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