‘course it’s true, I read it on the internet

There’s a group of us from all walks of life that have decided we can do it without the help of Google. Well, to a certain extent anyway. We will allow ourselves to type in the full address of the respected site we want to read e.g. bbc.co.uk, wikipedia.org, mytelegraph.co.uk where the content is unimpeachably precise and enthralling. But search terms are a no-no. The reasoning for this is that there are too many lies on the unofficial domains. It’s reputed that 25% of the facts issued on the internet are false. But by checking other sources and polls it can be 55%, 72%, 9%, 18.72%. This was a simple search and was inconclusive, proving our point.

What will you do when you need to research an arcane subject or piece of trivia for your blog that can only be found on the web, you may ask. Simple really, like most other posters we’ll make things up as we go along and hope that the flow of the prose will make for an outstanding article.

It is not just non-Google searches I have introduced into my life I have now, much to my wife’s annoyance, closed my eyes when she points something out to me. This is more exciting, a variation on the classic hide and seek game. I’ll give you an example of what I mean. The other day we were in town, it was busy, and she said “there’s Mrs Brown over there”. By not looking at where she was indicating I now had to do my own search for the lady. I looked here, I looked there, I looked everywhere but by this time Mrs Brown had been swallowed by the crowd. I was hit with a “I wish you’d look when I tell you” rebuke.

And then this morning came to pass. My wife said “ look at that, up there.” This ruins the game when she is more specific. I would look stupid if I looked down or to the side so reluctantly I looked up. Vapour trails. Big wow. A plane. More fools putting their lives in the hands of a stranger. “It’s an aeroplane.”

“No, no, lower than that. In the top flat of the building.”

It can’t be. Not now. Not at this time. I peered closely. It could only be one thing. The unmistakable flashing and flickering of lights were illuminating the window. Behind the glass, a Christmas tree.

14 thoughts on “‘course it’s true, I read it on the internet”

  1. I was in a pub last Friday with a mate from Australia and would you Adam and Eve it, there was this huge vulgar Christmas tree draped in hideous chains of gold tinsel and bugger all else on it. Apparently the pub is already taking bookings for Christmas dinners from the beginning of November. PS Its an old gits pub.

  2. In Boston, Mass, I recall, and in other towns in new England, there are year-round shops selling Xmas fare and decorations.

  3. Hello Men,
    The pound shops round my way are crammed with advent calendars at the moment. If I see a Marvel one I might buy it for myself (though I‘ll probably open the 24 windows and devour the inhabitants of the boxes at the one sitting). The good news regarding these calendars is that they have pushed Louise Doughty’s books to the back of the shop.

    Talking of our enthralling Distinguished Competition, I am enjoying your piano lesson blogs on the other side, PapaG. You should think about re-publishing your posts on the Chariot. I am sure they would be a hit here.

  4. I revisited the Big House recently but missed PG’s lessons. Generally speaking I found the site lacked spirit. Cheers!

  5. No Christmas trees as yet in this neck of the woods.

    I notice that few ever look, or if they do, they surely don’t see.
    The further ability to actually deduce anything of consequence is excessively limited in humanity at large.
    I frequently study landscape, in silence without the distraction of modern electronic devices and it is quite amazing what one can discover and how useful when singular examples conform to principles that can be applied elsewhere.

    Anyone who actually believes anything on the internet surely needs their head testing? Anonymity guarantees bad behaviour, lies and stupidity. Look at what happened to the Daily Telegraph website!!!
    Lets face it, if you were actually confronted with these people you would not give them the time of day! Here they can cover their inadequacies for a time and masquerade under false pretences.

  6. Hello CO,

    It sounds hypocritical of me to say that when I read an article or news item on the internet in other places I don’t bother reading the comments/views of the readers afterwards as these “experts“ are completely unknown to me, yet here I am reading/commenting etc. The difference I could point to is we generally know more about one another here, the “experts” aren’t that bad (6/10) and the comments are more civilised, some of yours notwithstanding!!!!!

    I think it’s great you like the countryside, nature and peace and quiet. Me, I’m an urbanite and have been brought up with noise. What was that thing J said- “Chance a gout” or something.

  7. Your last para puts the finger on it.
    Whatever you are used to.
    I have a dreadful suspicion that most of us end up reverting to type as one gets older. Having done the razzmatazz I could not wait to escape the urban. Mind you I do think the urban is a lot more unpleasant than it was 40 years ago. The lack of manners is quite appalling nowadays.
    Forays on the internet are about as near as I want to get to most of so called ‘life’. Lies and calumny notwithstanding!

  8. christinaosborne :

    I have a dreadful suspicion that most of us end up reverting to type as one gets older. Having done the razzmatazz I could not wait to escape the urban. !

    Definitely. Even suburban was quiet when I were a lad. Out here in the woods I wish that damn owl would do it quietly, whatever it is. 🙂

  9. But, but, JW! Don’t you enjoy the availability of simple info on Google when you can’t quite remember a vital fact?

  10. All I have to say is telephone numbers

    Mrs S will retrieve the 2″ thick telephone directory and start paging for a number, I ask who she’s looking for, stick the name in Google and hey presto, instant info with (usually) a handy map showing where they are.

    I haven’t used a directory in years 🙂

  11. Google can be very useful, especially in some circumstances. Say if you are meeting someone at an airport. All you need to do is to type the flight number into the Google search bar and you will get the status of the flight, whether it is delayed or cancelled or whatever, I use that quite a lot.

    Also, Google was essential while I was still working as a software engineer, and I imagine that is also true of many other professions.

  12. Excellent news, PG. It would be easier to access on the Chariot and, I think, format better. The Word Press design here much better. Requests? All of a sudden my mind’s went blank. Will think further on your question.

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