A friend of ours who works for a tow truck company decided to fill his time waiting for an accident to happen by sending his pals updates on traffic and other important traffic info. By other important info I mean the really important stuff, you know? Like where the speed cameras and road blocks are.
He also considers himself a bit of a comedian, here’s a sample from recent broadcasts…
Morning morning… Nice early broadcast…
MVA: burman N2.. Car hit 3 cars.. SAP/Fire stil on scene removing cows… Traffic backed up badly…
Way to early…. Car hit 3 COWS… Moo moo’s… Milk transporters…. Sorry
Morning, I’m awake… Monster and coffee.. Let’s start the day..
Cows on freeway behind Despatch! CAUTION!!!!! Walking in the middle of the road like they own it
Avoid N2 near Kempston and Burman rd.. 3 dead cows in Right hand lane… Causing hetic traffic jam..
Traffic along warbler street backed up
Algoa busses stil not operating..
MVA: Utenhage rd infront of the algoa park engen garage.. Scooter vs lady.. Ems on route..
🙂 in warbler westering..
MVA: st leonards infront of engen garage.. Two vehicles.. Ems on scene..
Traffic at rowallanpark primary, pulling off all the “smart” cars, ignoring overloaded bakkies, eish ja
🙂 albany road on your way down..
Who sent me airtime?
MVA: 6th and villiers rd.. Bike vs car.. Ems on scene
Mad house this morning… Please bare with me,as I’m operating 3 phones,while stil attending accidents..
MVA: N2 next to Continental.. Audi vs polo.. Direction cotsworld.. Audi caught alight..
MVA: N2 kragga kamma split.. 3 vehicles.. Direction newton park.. Ems on scene..
Traffics at sedan and Montmedy.. SMILE
Avoid climbing onto the n2 from makro direction newton park.. Accident… Traffic standing still..
PVA: infront of livingston..
MVA: park drive and park lane.. Not serious…
Pedestrian has been killed by a taxi infront of livingston hospital.. RIP
Road block in standford road jst past sasol
BIG ROADBLOCK OLD CAPE RD B4 ST ALBANS PULLIN EVERY ONE OVER
MVA: just before u enter oliphants kop pass bakkie overturned.. EMS on scene.. Proceed with caution..
MVA: Cape Rd Linton Grange near the SPAR.. Two vehicles.. EMS/SAP on scene.. Proceed with caution..
EMS Helicopter will be landing at Greenacres Hospital @ 14:30 bringing in a patient from the oilphants kop pass accident.. So that road next the hospital will be closed for a short while
PVA: commercial rd infront of Springbok Butchery…
Breaking News: Brent Cunningham has been granted bail of R1000
Taxi blocking kragga kamma rd in front of kamma prk spar
MVA: N2 Dealparty turn off car accident just happen from cpt side.. Toyata and Hyundai bakkie.. EMS on scene…
MVA: N2 commercial road off-ramp direction town.. Vehicle on its side.. EMS on scene..
MVA: next the library in korsten avoid road at all cost traffic is being backed up
PVA: Utenhage rd near Missionvale.. EMS on scene..
That’s it, OVER and OUT.. Speak to you’ll tomorrow…
Make sure you stop dead at the stop street at Van Der Stel by the butchery… Red tazz taking pics..
🙂 at the burman rd offramp
Still no busses..
🙂 Uth Road,just before Engen/Steers, usual Spot
🙂 in Mount Rd
MVA: mission rd by the road works.. Black corsa ldv went into a ditch.. EMS/SAP on route…
Road block in summers close to kings beach only pulling off taxis by the look of it
PVA: (pedestrian knocked over) 7th ave and villiers rd walmer.. EMS on scene…
Traffic opp. Speedy Quip – north end, Observing cars not stopping!
Bricks on the road by coega towards colchester
If anyone see a staffi and jack russel running around. Plz contact me 0734447xxx or Gavin on 0768139xxx asap. The Staffie name (Rusty) & Jack Russel name(Fudgie) are there names that they will come to u. Thanks a mil
MVA: strandfontein road and McArthur drive summerstrand… Two vehicles… Ems on scene.. Proceed with caution…
Truck broken down on robot, corner of circular drive and Carrington road
Chatty dip robots not working
Kinklbos traffics pulling over and checking vehicles and licence..
Traffic on uth road checking cars
Car broken down in circular drive coming from walmer towards lorraine before the robot before lorraine centre
RB as you come out of Port Alfred towards PE. Both sides… Checking for ppl who are speeding
MVA: Kragga kamma and cassie.. EMS on scene…
MVA: University rd( by NMMU) just before boom 4 cars involved.. EMS on scene..
Fire on seaview rd just before seaview.. Visibility very poor..
Car broken down kabega rd towards sherwood. Traffic backed up.
The sirens up cape rd… Report of serious accident.. Turns out fender bender…
MVA: struanway New brighton.. Opel Astra left the road and overturned.. EMS/Traffics on scene…
Traffics filming at the STOP street William & Sherly St Newton Park
Bus Strike still on..
Smile as u exit greenshields park at 4 way stop traffic cop sitting there
MVA-Fender Bender M19.. EMS on scene..
Smile+stop. South Port+Erasmus,Somerstrand
Road Block spondo rd..
1 traffic cop at Rowallanpark primary. If ur white, he’ll pull u over, if u hav 2 people in ur car, he’ll pull u over, eish ja
MVA: Whites road by city hall feather market centre.. EMS on scene..
Taxi broken down-Burt drive towards Merchantile Hosp. B careful LH lane blocked
Lota traffics in struanway. Pullin of taxis and random cars
Report of a Boat has capsized at Swartkops mouth, spoke to John Fletcher from Coastal Sea Rescue, they are on route,only info they received was boat capsized, 3 ppl in the water,, will share more info if I get..
Confirmed.. Boat has capsized.. 3 occupants on boat,no injuries…
Make sure you give the nice traffic officer a big smile in russel road near the bottom..
MVA: 10th ave and Main rd walmer direction walmer park one lane closed.. Two vehicles.. EMS on Scene
A suspicious briefcase was left inside the builders express 8th ave Main Rd by 2 males and one female.. Was removed by Security to the parking lot.. Two SAP dog unit Vehicles are now on scene,and have cornered off the area,and are waiting for the bomb squad to arrive..
MVA: Cape rd infront of KFC Greenacres direction newton Park….. 3 vehicles.. EMS on scene.. Vehicles moved off the road.. 1 minor injure…
Smile on n2 out of pe before coega off ramp ~ hiding under the bridge in the shade
3d ave dip – N park bakkie broken down – going towards W moffat.
There was no bomb in the briefcase…
Evening, had a bit of a problem with my blackberry this morning,but I’m back online…
Trafics pulling off on uth rd near spring bok
Traffics pulling cars off randomly kempston rd.
Traffics in south end checking cars randomly
Traffics pulling of cars markman
Roadblock at One Way Driving School both directions
MVA: bike vs car cleary park stadnford rd.. Ems on scene.. All info I have
MVA: Kabega Road between bike vs car.. EMS/SAP on scene.. All details I received
RB @ Kinkelbos. Pulling off both ways randomly.
P.S if I say “all info I received” it means I don’t know what bike or what car ect is in the accident…
MVA: cape rd and lategaan… Taxi vs champ bakkie… Ems/sap on scene…
MVA: Bakkie rolled on N2 just passed Stanford Bridge towards Cape Road Police And ambulance on seen
Accident kipling rd kensington car vs bike look like everyone ok
Traffic pulling off cars as u come frm markman
Gm traffic pulling over randomly from young park and algoa park to standford road by graveyard
MVA: 2nd ave Strandfontein summerstrand.. Two vehicles.. Ems on scene.. Proceed with caution..
Traffic pulling off cars as u come from Young ParK to standford road
White Caddy John Tallant splint on N2 from BWB to Summerstrand.
MVA: Govan Mbeki between pier 14 and Albany road infront of Robot Furnishers.. Two trucks and maybe a car involved.. Avoid that area.. EMS/towing on scene..
Remember we have a xxxxxx Page on facebook,were we upload pics of some of the accidents we broadcast.. Click like and share..
Standford road closed at katanga heading to northern areas, burning in the street police on site
MVA: oliphants kop pass.. EMS on route.. All details I received..
building on fire infront of ellerens furniture place govin mbeki ave.. Avoid area so fired brigade can do there thing..
MVA: Burman road infront of SACD.. Two vehicles.. Ems on scene..
No update on standford rd, if anyone drives that way,please share with me
Standford road is clear.. SAP in attendance…
Some moo moo’s in Ditchling rd algoa park…
MVA: Perseverance by the Spar.. BWM vs Truck.. Ems on scene…
Goven Mbeki between green street and albany road stil closed due to the fire..
Traffic pulling off cars opposite FNB kempston rd heading towards Greenacres
I’ve just read an article on the dangers of drinking and smoking and it really scared me. No more reading
Mva in chetty dip. Double cab bakkie hit middle barrier. People lying in middle grass area.. EMS on route… Proceed with caution…
🙂 in warbler street
MVA: cape rd stella londt.. Two vehicles.. Direction newton park.. One lane closed…
Sorry,was busy at MVA..
Two traffics pulling off cars on disa rd,just passed Burt drive intersection.. cotswold
Trafic pulling cars off just b4 Coega turn off
RB-Struandale by traffic dept
Truck overturned mission rd.. EMS on scene.. Will load pics onto facebook page when I’m finished here
smile on seaview rd by the seaview spar
Trok gebreek in Olifantskop pas om blinde draai. Soos pas begin vanaf Cradock
Pulling random cars off on N2,motherwell entrance
They pulling cars off as u come into uitenhage if you turn left at the robots infront of VW on your way to the kwanobuhle turn off.
RB algoa park opp steers
MVA:M17 towards motherwell.. Ems on scene.. Proceed with caution
MVA: 8th ave prospect road walmer.. Ems on scene
MVA: Utenhage rd opposite Dora.. Ems/traffics on scene..
Big ups to Cxxxx,Vxxxx,Wxxxx and Pxxxx.. We have a database of close to 13 000 bb contacts (+- 8 phones) that we provide info to, day and night.. Whether it be traffic info, or where the new home affairs is to what time does Golden Curtain close.. not an easy task.. Especially when the wifes moan.. Hahahaha keep it up.. (GoldenCurtain is a strip club :))
Roadworks n2 between greenbushes and newton park both sides of n2
Roadblock between Nanaga and Colchester. Both sides
MVA: cape rd near Conyngham rd, mill park.. No injuries…
MVA: 10th ave and buffelsfontein rd walmer.. Pedestrian knocked over.. EMS on scene… Proceed with caution…
MVA: cape rd and stella londt.. Bike vs car.. Ems on scene…
MVA: kabega rd sherwood side.. 3 vehicles.. Ems on scene…
MVA in cape road will take awhile to clear up as the biker has passed away… SAP photographers have to come out.. I don’t have details on what bike so please don’t ask..
Morning morning,its a public holiday.. And us @ Xxxxxxx are working.. Any traffic related info, please forward..
🙂 Walmer blvrd just before 1st ave walmer
White ford courier bakkie 1985 model CGS 258 EC.. The load bin at the back is made of wood… Stolen from Sunridge park Shopping Centre 076782xxx
Cuylor manor Uth trafics both ways
Truck losed it cargo, just before humansdorp off ramp.
Pulling cars over c. J. Langenhoven dr
Traffics didn’t get the memo that its a public holiday…
Traffic pulling off car by cape road r Rowallan Park by the railway…
As well as walmer blvrd by the shell garage…
MVA: n2 between Standford and Commercial rd direction Deal Party.. One vehicle.. Ems on scene…not blocking traffic
Uitenhage road opp steers algoa park road block both sides
African Grey Found Kabega area contact 0747434xxx we want to return to lawful owners
Lady was taken off van stadens bridge an hour ago… SAP are bringing her back to pe… (Van Stadens is our local suicide high spot)
SAP/EMS/FIRE BRIGADE/NSRI/COASTAL WATER RESCUE… Searching for a a Spear fishermen that went missing near Shark rock pier (6 pillars).. Witness saw diver, then next minute didn’t.. SAP chopper will take to the air to help with the search….
MVA: n2 cotswold.. Opel monza hit barrier.. Ems/sap on scene.. No injuries
Morning, hello,what’s up…
Photo shoot corner of vitry and luneville, white traffic car
Two dogs running in traffic in Kempston rd near bad boys..
Those traveling past william moffit and cape road intersection this morning,it seems a group of people have started the coffee selling again… Not sure on price,but good idea…
MVA: m19 redhouse.. EMS on route… 2 cars and a bike (info I received,waiting for feedback from my driver) proceed with caution.. Traffic backed up…
MVA: 4th and burt.. 3 cars.. Ems on scene….
TLO-X_X robots not working at SABC
Caution bricks lh Standford Rd before the Hospital
5fm interviewing Joost van der Westhuizen at the moment
Maroon Jetta stuck middle of intersection @ Sasol Linton Grange direction N.Park
Donkey cart on rocklands road… Proceed with caution.. They traveling at a ridiculous speed…
Traffic officers at 6th and burt drive…
Report of a white male jumping infront of traffic on the n2 in the greenbushes area… (Not lekker)
Update: White male jumping infront of traffic on N2 has been picked up by SAP… He’s only wearing underpants… I shall now call him UNDERPANTS MAN!!!
Please ladies, I don’t have pictures of UNDERPANTS MAN!!!!
Commercial Rd Toyi Toyi.
A man has passed away at Cassies Pies Greenacres. Please avoid the Kodak entrance as Gardmed is on the scene. RIP
TLO out 9th ave Huegh road Walmer
Accident on corner of church str and cannon str uitenhage. Don’t look good. Ambulance and police everybody on seen. Man stuck in car
Accident on the Rocklands road just after the traffic department car went off the road.Traffic and police on scene.
Morning…. Its friday friday \=D/ \=D/
Traffic lights out of order 6th ave and heugh rd walmer… Treat as 4-way stop.. Aswell as 10th ave and buffelsfontein…
MVA: mount rd.. Two vehicles.. Ems/sap on scene.. Proceed with caution…
Small mva walker drive by sasol garage.. Cars have moved so not blocking the road…
Can 🙂 in mount rd
Traffics standing on freeway as you turn up for cotswold off-ramp…
M4 near russell road, taxi lost its wheel… Oops
TLO in Buffelsfontein & Victoria intersection traffic is a nightmare:(
Roadblock on the corner of Spondo str and Struanway at the traffic circle…
🙂 in Addo rd. At one of the bridges….last bridge from Addo to the hi way
MVA: Firestone.. taxi vs Jeep EMS on scene..
MVA: Walmer Blvrd near south end fire station.. EMS/SAP on scene.. Proceed with caution in that area..
RB Spondo Rd still active
Smile as u go towards humewood. White caddy. Officer stand openly with camera
Road block just before S-bend humewood…and taxi wheel came off as u go under the humewood bridge turning right towards summerstrand
MVA: Diza ave opposite the savoy theatre.. Bakkie vs corsa.. Ems on scene.. Cars blocking road…
PVA: 4th and heugh rd.. Ems on scene
Let’s try this again…
15:35 MVA: 8th ave and Heugh rd walmer.. Taxi vs polo.. Ems on scene..
15:18.. 3 kids kite surfing,got into abit of trouble at Sardinia bay all ems is there.. Kids were found unharmed..
I have lost a long front no plate. No DXX xxx EC if anyone finds it can you kindly phone 0762506xxx
If your male and single… Head over to summerstrands, tons of ladies in summerstrand for the spar ladies race.. Serious note.. some road will be busy with walkers,so please drive slowly…
On commercial road bridge cars wheel fell off…
🙂 in Ditchling and dyke rd algoa park
Peugeot Dxx6xxEC, please can u kindly remove your vehicle from Tiger Wheel n Tyre Newton Park,as you are blocking the alignment bay section,and they are losing business because of you…
Pothole in Cj langhoven towards Greenacres…
MVA: La Roche drive and Cathcart Rd summerstrand.. EMS/traffic on scene.. Two vehicles… Proceed with caution…
MVA: cape road morning side infront of pappa G’s direction town.. Two vehicles… Ems on scene… One lane blocked…
MVA: R75 utenhage rd near chetty dip.. Car vs cow.. Ems on scene.. Proceed with caution…
Some Moo moo’s on the swartkops road (M19) near readhouse..
Some more moo moo’s having lunch on kragga kamma opposite SPAR
Truck with burst tyre on the n2 just before Standford road direction Deal Party… Left lane occupied…
M17 towards motherwell ontop of the bridge that goes over the M19… Two vehicles involved… EMS on route.. SAP on scene.. Avoid that area…
Morning morning… What a beautiful sunday morning….
Seaview (newrest squater camp) shacks on fire…
Bits of the roof has collapsed at greenacres shopping mall.. OK/Shopright/MR Price entrances are closed.. SAP/Fire Brigade on scene.. Will try get more infor when I can…
Roadblock N2 voor addo rd afdraai (excuse my afrikaans)
PVA: (pedestrian vs vehicle) old cape rd near mission road… Serious injuries.. Ems/sap on scene…
Robots not working at utenhage rd and spondo..
can 🙂 in Wares rd Mill park..
MVA: booysens park drive and standford rd.. EMS on scene
Its monday,start of a new week.. Make the best of it..
MVA: 8th ave and villiers rd walmer.. EMS on scene..
MVA: strand street infront of harbour entrance.. Bus vs taxi.. EMS on route..
MVA: john talent.. EMS on scene..
Biker from 8th ave walmer transported in stable condition to st Georges hospital..
Can 🙂 in Humewood rd
MVA: highfield towards malabar just before u go under the N2.. Two vehicles.. EMS on scene.. One lane closed.. Proceed with caution..
I will be busy on this scene for next 30mins…
MVA: huapt street.. EMS on scene..
MVA: stanford rd cleary park truck vs golf.. Not serious..
Rb uitnage by one way driving school
Small boy run over by bakkie on stanford road opposite helenvale
MVA: addo rd/markmen infront of GM.. Bakkie vs truck.. I’m told the bakkie is a right off.. EMS on route.. Proceed with caution…
M4 freeway… Truck jacknifed before deal party behind the prison from summer strand side.. Try an alternative route.. Traffic may be backed up
People asking what’s happening mount pleasant side.. There was a report of a serious accident on the corner of Clarendon and Buffelsfountein.. But no accident found..
Morning, hello, what’s up,Goeie more..
PVA: target kloof.. EMS on scene..
Traffic lights out at spondo and uitenhage rd..
Have a super day, please don’t forget to inform us us of traffic info and accidents….
🙂 coming up from the beach front on admirality, summerstrand
🙂 Target kloof direction Walmer.
🙂 at settlers turn off,under the bridge
Traffic lights at corner of spondo and uitenhage rd are back up and working nw
Major shit problem in swartkops…….please keep your windows closed….seriously DO NOT BREATH..
RB Kinkelbos towards Grahamstown.
Coin shop opp mug and bean green acers was robed by 4 gunmen..
Byr618ec greenacres jewelry has just been Robbed 7suspects silver corsa bakkie please b on look out.sftbc
Robbery Suspect dumped corsa jumped into a white quantum direction korsten Fws817ec
Will be off-line for 2-3 hours… Do do time…
Roadblock on R75 behind Despatch.
RoadBlock on Fergeson rd
Quatam that was used as gataway car in robbery at greenacers was recoverd in kuzwayo str new brighton no suspects arrested
Traffic lights not working @ Chatty Dip intersection.. Please treat as 4-way stop..
Truck standing on N2 near Kempston rd on-ramp direction Deal Party.. Apparently waiting for brakes to cool down.. Traffic on scene..
MVA: fig tree robots… Taxi vs amarok vs ford.. Sap on scene…
🙂 N2 crossing onto cape rd from kebega/westering side.. Think they checking people crossing the solid line…
MVA: adam rd charlo… Two vehicles…
🙂 warbler street
Traffic backing up in Standford rd near cleary park due to 1 lane being closed.
🙂 White bakkie filming no stopping at 10th Ave & Church Rd, Walmer!
🙂 down Albany rd
Robbery and shooting went down in commercial street now. Cadle str okay again but commercial rd chaos.. Avoid if possible
MVA: bottom of albany rd.. Ems on scene..
Joh, but its wet.. Morning morning…
MVA: main rd Walmer between 11th and 13th ave… Cash n transit truck connected a guy on bicycle.. EMS on scene… Seems he will be ok…
3rd ave dip is open,for how long,I’m not sure.. Will try keep u updated with the dip..
Keep them following distances between cars!!
And a selection of others
Service delivery strike at Standford and Pienaar. Burning tyres and throwing vehicles. Avoid area. Traffic on scene and Saps enroute.
Use alternative route as standford rd is closed from Gale rd up until Cleary Park due to the protest..
RoadBlock behind Despatch by Cylermanner
I hear there was major drama at the Justin Bieber concert last night – apparently they stole 19 BMX’s and 41 Tricycles!!! (Cape Town had hosted a Justin Bieber concert the previous night)
MVA: humewood rd infront of Engen Garage.. Two vehicles and a pole… Ems on scene…
Roads are wet guys… If u see anything let me know
Mva about 20 km before Grahamstown from PE side.
Traffics checking lunch money (roadblock) in the S-bend summerstrand..
Can the person who transported there wendy house down william moffit,please turn around and fetch your roof… It fell off.. X_X
Broken down car opisite. Livingstone hospital
Traffics pulling over randomly in rowallan park / greenbushes area
Some CHOP has parked his white bantam bakkie in Target kloof unattended in the right hand lane… Direction from Walmer to 5ways.. Been there since 1pm and its now almost 4pm… I’ve been there twice and stil no one at the car…
No serious injuries to biker in circular drive…
All u drag racers in Dyke rd… Big brother watch you… opposite willies hairdresser….
DEAR CHOP…. Your Bantam Bakkie Dxx 5xx EC has been removed from Target Kloof.. Please fetch it from Crock Motors or Traffic Department… TAKE CASH with you.. :p
Traffic cops pulling off random motor vehicle in Upper Drostdy road,Uitenhage
SMASH and GRAB incident corner of Baxter and old Gtwon rd Deal Party… Please ladies, if you have you handbag with you.. Either keep it in the boot or on the passenger floor.. Not were someone can see it..
Don’t go near Disa Ave Sasol. Petrol station there’s a fire there! No fire at the moment,but fire brigade off there… Closed for safety reason til further notice..
Moo Moo’s on Graaff Reinett Road Uitenhage.
Traffics pulling off cars en route to nanaga opposite the weighbridge, just routine checks
Some stupid CHOP thought it would be a good opportunity to steal the amp out of the taxi involved in the accident,Albany and goven Mbeki…. WRONG… He got a free ride to Humewood Police station… ASS….
Mva corner Rundle and commercial.. EMS on scene…
I really need someones advice on a serious problem:I have suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me.The usual signs: if the phone rings and I answer, the caller hangs up; she goes out with the girls a lot. I try to stay awake to look out for her when she comes home but I usually fall asleep.Anyway last night about midnight I hid in the shed behind the boat. When she came home she got out of someone’s car buttoning her blouse, then she took her panties out of her purse and slipped them on.It was at that moment where i crouched behind my bike that I noticed a hairline crack in the engine mounting bracket.Is that something I can weld or do I need to replace the whole bracket?
Road blocks next to New Brighton Police Station
Road block on Old Cape RD just before st Albans Prison
MVA: 4th ave and Mangold Newton park.. EMS and Tow-In on scene… Bmw vs a corsa… Proceed with caution..
Goats in road by walmer township
So there you are, the a day (well more than one) in the life of a tow truck driver.