“Never give a sucker an even break”
Unlike those boring people that go out all the time I’ve stuck to my couch and began to take an interest in the reality television programmes concerning real-life policemen. You know the type of shows I’m talking about: Road Wars, Night Cops, UK Street Crime etc. etc.
Even these dramas played out factually are beginning to become formulaic. The car chase sequence went downhill after Steve McQueen yet it’s still in use, overuse. The voice over guy tries to ratchet up the tension as the siren-blaring cops race after the bad guys. Red lights are driven past, the wrong side of the road is used and there’s a swerve or two. All Beano and Dandy and seen before. Just when you think the baddies have got away they are captured. Most of the time because of the big bird in the sky.
The police helicopter tracks the progress of the villains giving the pursuers in their squad cars vital intelligence (it also doubles up as the programmes TV screen plotting the adventure). To give the felons a chance the helicopter should not be used. It’s not as if the carjackers have ground to air missiles in their armoury. Put those cheating copters away. As Shere Khan would say, It would make the chase more interesting.
Boadicea's Chariot 
I think you need to go out more!
Just you thank your lucky stars you don’t have ‘Swamp people’ in the UK. A bunch of inbred morons from the bayou, knuckle dragging their way round alligator wrestling, mud wrestling, wife fighting and oddball religious practises. Positively shudder making, not that I have ever watched more than five minutes of it, more than enough for a lifetime!!!
On second thoughts you need an allotment to keep you off the streets.
Third though- why not start a drive to raise funds to buy the malefactors ground to air missiles? I’m sure the Taliban in Luton could flog some, ought to even up the odds a bit and generally enliven a dull TV show.
Mrs O. Superb!!!
And now I need to scour the cable networks and suchlike. Scour and scour and scour, until I find ‘Swamp People’. Time to start scouring.