If a tree falls in the forest and no one’s there to hear it, does it make a sound? Forgetting that, if I make the world record high jump in my bedroom and nobody’s around to record it, would anybody believe it?
Well I did.
Placing a pole next to the mattress on the bed and using a small run-up- just like those fancy penalty kick takers in football that do the dink shot- I cleared 2.5m. This is a new world record according to the Guinness book of world records. Now I’m not going to boast and say I did it on my first go. It took many attempts and lots of hard work but I got there in the end. Trouble is the constant battering of the mattress left it in a helluva state. My wife will take one look at it and wonder what I’ve been up to. I could be for the high jump.
Boadicea's Chariot 
A certain Bishop Berekeley struggled with the same deep questions. (He should have got a proper job, you might aver.) What surprises me is that you didn’t attempt several other world marks too. The marathon, haggis eating, yoga positions?
Of course one would trust in the word of such an outstandingly honest gentleman as yourself, TR – perhaps you should be in touch with Guiness?
Bravo, between us girls, I think he’s already in touch with the Guinness clan. 😉
TR: did you try the straddle, the eastern cutoff and the scissors positions before succeeding with the Fosbury flop?
Re #3. Reckon far too much in contact!
(I was going to ask what he was on?)