High, Wide and …you’ve guessed it, handsome

If a tree falls in the forest and no one’s there to hear it, does it make a sound? Forgetting that, if I make the world record high jump in my bedroom and nobody’s around to record it, would anybody believe it?
Well I did.
Placing a pole next to the mattress on the bed and using a small run-up- just like those fancy penalty kick takers in football that do the dink shot- I cleared 2.5m. This is a new world record according to the Guinness book of world records. Now I’m not going to boast and say I did it on my first go. It took many attempts and lots of hard work but I got there in the end. Trouble is the constant battering of the mattress left it in a helluva state. My wife will take one look at it and wonder what I’ve been up to. I could be for the high jump.