The Conservative Chancellor of the coalition, George Osborne, has delighted the Tory Party faithful by ruling out wealth and mansion taxes. “This Party of home ownership will have no truck with it” he said. High value property owners that have never set foot in a truck breathed a sigh of relief. Mr Osborne is in charge of the purse strings of this country and he can play any melody he wants with them. This time it’s music to the ears of the wealthy.
Into the chamber enters the spectral figure that is the government’s Business Secretary, Vince Cable. This latter-day Robin Hood is promoting a petition for a fairer tax system. “I want a new ‘mansion tax’ on the most valuable properties – we propose 1% of the value of over £2million. This will be paid by the wealthiest 0.16% of property owners. If you agree, add your name to our campaign now.” This juggernaut statement struck a discord with the better off while those in the poor seats clapped approvingly.
While this high octane political argument continues to have lots of mileage in it there is no denying the fact that The Treasury does need new funds in its coffers. Trouble is, there doesn’t seem to be anything left to tax. Or is there? Some industries have short-changed the exchequer for too long and that needs to be rectified. Firstly, I would go after Fastener makers with their little products -staples, screws, nails, rivets and tacks- and tax them more. This would be payback for the damage their errant nails do to the tyres of innocent automobiles.
We should also take a step back in time because sometimes the answer to all our problems lies in history. I’m talking glass. Right from the bottom of my glass. Whatever was wrong with the Window Tax, anyway? This form of taxation should be re-introduced. This is a fairer system than the one proposed by Mr Cable. The more windows you have, the more tax you pay. What do windows make…?
The Window Tax will force corporations to transform their office buildings from the sterile contemporary look to more aesthetically pleasing architecture. The glass towers of the modern age should come smashing down to be replaced by the highly ornamented old style of the likes of Dutch Baroque. This will give a window of opportunity for people in glass houses to throw bricks in it.
Boadicea's Chariot 
TR: Much better than more taxes would be less Government spending, especially on themselves. 🙂
All this talk of taxing people with a property worth over £1million, £2million or whatever would mean that some politicians like Huhne and Clegg who have a string of properties, but probably not a single one worth more than whatever limit is set, might get off scot-free. That’s not on. Go for the multi-ownership.
The Prince of Wales will be inclined to agree, I’m sure.
No, no, no, Sheona. The Tories believe in multi-ownership of everything. It’s the capitalist way. 😉
JW, “Trouble is, there doesn’t seem to be anything left to tax. Or is there?”
Well, I am in the privileged position (!) of being able to help. I’ll send a list of the taxes which the Vikings levy and the UK doesn’t. I warn you, the file may be too big for your email inbox!
Howzit TR
I see huge problems with a window tax, would a giant bay window be taxed the same as a tiny porthole in a bachelor flat? Perhaps it should depend on the view, a home with a window overlooking say, Lords cricket ground should surely be taxed more than a window overlooking a supermarket car park!
Then of course there would be the problem of unemployment among window cleaners. no doubt some crafty tax dodgers would block their windows up resulting in previously gainfully employed people sponging off the government.
No, a much fairer system would be a toilet tax, who needs more than one anyway? Lets face it hundreds of years ago their were no indoor loos, having more than one is simply a wasteful extravagance (how many thrones does a King have? Precisely!)
And unlike windows where one can enjoy the view of different windows at the same time, using more than one toilet at a time is, I think that you’ll agree, impossible.
Now, I wonder what name for this new tax those geniuses at Westminster will come up with, any ideas? 😉
Excretax, eh? 🙂
Or…
Suburban housing interior tax 😉
The idea of a mansion tax is ridiculous when house prices vary greatly over the country. I live in a 1930’s 4 bedroom semi in South London/North Kent, not a mansion by any stretch of the imagination, yes it is a sought after area (20 minutes fast train to the City) hence the value is now around 600k. close to the 1mill proposed for a tax.
Yet the same house inn Fokestone is around 250k and in Middleborough around 50pence.
A mansion tax is only viable if location is taken into account. But I thought I paid a mansion tax in council tax (currently £2500 per annum).
If they need more money then a flat rate tax of around 30% on any earnings above 15k with no allowances or rebates for anything and remove the NI payments would bring in more revenue, especially as the rich and companies could not get out of paying by employing accountants to fiddle the books.
You’re right, RR. So the tax has to be imposed, if it ever is, on the sum total of properties owned. Bet the Lib Dims won’t like that!
And the champagne socialists (eg Bliar) will leave town for good. Hurray!